Pain shot through Kira’s heart like someone held it in their clenched fist. She pressed her fingers against the spot on her chest, feeling both relief and fear. Altaria’s still with me.
Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered that day in the canyon-before her torture had begun, before everything had changed. The moment when Lydia thrust her kindred spirit, Altaria, into Kira’s body-hoping to save Kira from the beast Al had become after catching the scent of Kira’s blood. But now Al was trapped inside of her-without voice, without any way to communicate-neither Altaria nor Kira were truly free.
Ussay put her hand on Kira’s shoulder. “Shall I wake him?”
Kira shrugged out from under Ussay’s grasp and turned away. “No. I wanna be alone.”
Ussay stepped away from the bed and curtsied. “Yes, my lady. I will wait outside the door until you need me.”
Kira didn’t want to cry-she’d done enough of that while being held captive-but the tears continued to flow freely, despite her efforts to stop them. For several minutes she silently sobbed into her pillow, hoping and praying she’d misunderstood Ussay’s words. When the tears finally slowed, she felt numb and drained of all her energy. She knew some of the sorrow she felt belonged to Altaria, which made it worse.
She wiped the moisture from her face and adjusted her position so she could get a better view of Octavion. She hadn’t noticed before, but the knuckles on his right hand were scabbed. Now what have you done? The very idea of him getting hurt and her not having the power to heal him weighed heavy on her mind. With Lydia gone, Kira would miss the powers of the Crystor. She’d miss all of it-the strength, the healing, the enhanced senses-but especially her friend. She wondered if Lydia suffered a painful death, which only brought more tears.
Octavion moaned and rubbed his neck, but didn’t wake.
Kira closed her eyes, hoping he’d stay asleep, but then she heard the chair scoot across the floor and the shuffle of his boots. She looked up to find him standing in front of the window, staring out-his profile drawn and weary.
Kira swallowed the lump in her throat. “Is it as beautiful as you remembered?”
Octavion’s head jerked toward her and their eyes met. “Kira?” A million emotions washed over his face as he flew to her side and pulled her into his arms. His chest rose and fell like his heart would explode. This was the moment she longed for, to be held in his arms and feel him all around her. She buried her head against his chest and breathed him in. Oh, how she missed him.
Octavion adjusted his hold on her, brushing the wounds on her back with his hand. She tensed, sucking in a gasp of air as the pain hit.
He dropped his arms and scooted away. “Oh, Kira, I am so sorry. Did I. . have you been crying?”
Kira’s bottom lip quivered. “Yeah.”
“You do not need to be afraid. You are safe here.” He wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
“No, that’s not it. It’s Ussay. She told me. . I mean she didn’t tell me, but then she couldn’t and. . Lydia’s dead, isn’t she?”
His painful expression said it all. She was right. She threw herself back into his arms and he pulled her close again, this time holding her gently.
“I’m sorry,” Kira sobbed. “I should have been here for her. I would have healed her and. .” The throbbing in her chest returned and she realized she had to keep Altaria a secret. If they were to have any kind of life together, he couldn’t know a part of his sister lived inside her. He wouldn’t so much as kiss her if he knew Al watched it all, seeing and feeling everything.
“Kira, there are things. . I cannot explain.” He paused for a moment. “Please do not blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. I am the one to blame. I should have known Shandira would pull something like that. I should have made sure you were both safe before stepping through the portal.”
He didn’t say anything else, but the quiver of his breath as he exhaled expressed both his grief for his sister and his relief that Kira was finally awake. When he released her, he put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. “I have never. . been so afraid in my life. How will you ever forgive me for leaving you behind?”
“You didn’t leave me-and there’s nothing to forgive.” She put her hands on his. “I’m okay.”
He swallowed hard. “But I should have protected you. What kind of a man leaves the woman he loves?”
“The kind that keeps his word. You gave an oath to your sister and you kept it. You brought her home.” She lowered his hands away from her face and held them between hers. “She got to see her father, didn't she?”
“Yes.” He leaned in and gently kissed her lips-right as Ussay came through the door.
“Oh,” she said, her face a shade or two redder than before. “Um. . I can come back.” Then she turned her back to them.
“Come here,” Octavion motioned to Ussay. “I understand you two have already met.”
Ussay slowly turned, her smile replaced with a guilt stricken expression. “Yes. Please forgive me for not waking you.” She held a small tray of food balanced on one hand, more linens on the other.
Octavion turned to face Kira. “How long have you been awake?”
She smiled. “A while.”
He looked at Ussay who had abandoned the linens on the dresser and now stood next to him. “I am not angry about that, but would have preferred she learn of my sister from me.”
Ussay lowered her eyes. “I am sorry, Sire.”
Kira squeezed his hand. “Octavion. I told her not to wake you. And it wasn't what she told me about Lydia, but what she didn't say. Please don't be angry with her.”
He growled.
Kira had waited so long to hear that familiar rumbling in his chest that it took her by complete surprise. She snorted. “You growled at me.”
He raised a brow and grinned, but his beard hid his dimples. “I thought you hated that.” The brush of his hand against her cheek caused Kira to gasp.
When she put her hand up to her face and ran her finger along the jagged scar, more tears came to the surface. Kira had forgotten about the cut Shandira gave her. She felt as though she were on an emotional roller coaster. Up one minute and down the next.
Octavion sighed. “Kira, it is not that bad. Gregor did a fine job with the stitching and the scar will fade.” He took her hands in his. “I would have given my life to save you from this pain.” His voice was deep and full of emotion.
“I guess I knew that.” She took her hands back and wiped her tears.
“What do you mean?”
“If I let Shandira through the portal, you could have been killed. I couldn't risk it.”
He gently pulled her chin up until their eyes met. Tiny threads of yellow invaded his. “You mean you could have stepped through to the other side?”
She nodded. “I thought you saw what happened. Shandira drew her dagger and as she brushed past Lydia to step through the portal, she caught her in the side. I couldn’t reach Lydia, so I grabbed Shandira by the hair and pulled her back into the cave. I don't think I really thought about it, I just knew I couldn't let her get all the way through that portal.”
“But you could have pushed her through and I could have helped you.”
Kira lowered her eyes and began fiddling with the Crystor. “I saw your face.” She looked up to meet his eyes again. “You were a little distracted with the scent of my blood.”
The muscles in his jaw clenched. He stood and went to the window. His shoulders rose and fell with each labored breath as he pulled his fingers into clenched fists. But he didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Kira knew he blamed himself for not being in control of his cravings and for not protecting her-that he thought he’d been weak.
Ussay still stood a few feet away, holding the tray. She watched as he stood there, saying nothing. Then she looked at Kira. “Shall I take this back to the kitchen, my lady?”