“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I found it… It was—”
“You are lying!” One hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. “Why else would you have hidden it from me?”
My pulse starts to race. “I didn’t!”
He steps closer, backing me up to a tree. Too close. Friend or not friend? Anger or fear? Indecision freezes me and I’m stuck there with him leaned into me, a subtle tremble starting in my fingertips. I squeeze my eyes shut and count my breaths. One. Two. Breathe… It’s not helping, so I open my eyes, hoping he can see that I’m telling the truth.
“How many others have fallen for this? What happened to the supply ship? Where are the rest? How was it done?” I frantically shake my head, but he just keeps going, question after question. The movement wiggles my hair loose from my braid and it falls down around my face. It catches Lir’s attention and understanding breaks across his face.
He drops my wrist and takes a step back. “It was not you.” A soft shake of his head. “Blazes. I cannot believe I did not figure it out before. It was your brother. The hair… it’s why they took him.”
“What?”
“Your brother is a thief and a murderer.”
* * * * * * *
There’s a new suspicion in Lir’s eyes as he stoically recites the story. About six months ago an E’rikon supply ship vanished without a trace somewhere in the vicinity of Bridgelake. The last communication from the crew showed a red-haired human standing over a fallen alien, his face splashed with green blood. And it wasn’t the first of their ships to disappear. The details are vague and he’s holding back. He won’t tell me what the cargo was, just that they’ve been trying to retrieve it. Obviously the metal object I pulled from Dane’s desk was part of it, but there’s something bigger going on too. Something he doesn’t want me to know about. Just like that, he doesn’t trust me anymore.
It explains a lot, why the aliens were there, why they landed and even why they took Jace. But rather than being relieved at finally having some answers, I’m all the more terrified for my brother. It was one thing to think they took him mistakenly or just because, it’s completely different now that I know their real purpose— interrogation.
Lir claims they would have never taken him if they weren’t sure of his identity, but it just doesn’t sound like my brother. Could he really have done it? How would he have become a killer without me noticing? I can’t just accept it, not until I hear it from Jace. I let Lir examine the object and explain where and when I found it, but I keep the kitu I found to myself. If he can have secrets, then so can I.
The camaraderie we have developed over the past few days disappears. I don’t like him assuming the worst of my brother and Lir… he just retreats into himself. No words, no jokes, just hiking in silence with rumbling stomachs. In the beginning, I would have welcomed this quiet and near solitude, but I’ve gotten used to the easy conversation calming me. With nothing else to distract me, my worries play over and over in my head with every step.
Night comes and there’s nothing to cook over the fire, only some blackberries I scrounged up. It’s hard and cold on the ground and the descent of darkness only amps up my anxiety. I rock back and forth and close my eyes, but it doesn’t help and there’s silence on the other side of the fire. Even when I get up and start pacing, there’s no reassurance from Lir. Not a word. He just rolls over and goes to sleep.
The nightmares don’t let me sleep. Every time I close my eyes all I see is red and hands and pain.
I’m up before the sun, scavenging around the campsite and plotting our route for the day. I use the knife to scrape off some pine bark to take the edge off our hunger and we start walking.
Today’s no better than yesterday. Hungry, dirty and stiff we trek along without speaking. I refuse to believe the worst of my brother and Lir won’t talk about it. He won’t listen to my pleas for more information and he snaps at me when I ask him to explain how they know for sure it was my brother. Either way, I’m not Jace and had nothing to do with it. The alien shouldn’t be taking it out on me.
Finally, after another cold night on the rocky ground spent battling with my dreams, I can’t take it anymore. “It wasn’t me,” I say.
“What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t do it.” I stop walking and wait for Lir to catch up to me.
“I am aware of that.” He sighs and pushes ahead of me without stopping.
And that’s our conversation for the day. I fight against tears and a hurt I don’t quite understand.
Up in a tree the next morning, I see the first town we have to pass through. It’s deserted like most of them nowadays, but I’d much rather stick to the woods. The forest only gets sparser on this leg of the journey though. At least there might be food somewhere in there. Cans keep for a while and before the Collapse there were lots of other things with shelf lives longer than I’ve been alive.
Even better, there might be a camping store or something. I’m sick and tired of sleeping on the ground.
“We’re headed into what used to be civilization today,” I say. He just looks at me and nods. “Might find some food. Sleeping bags. A soft place to sleep.” Still just nodding. “If we spend some extra time there we could probably find enough supplies to last us.”
“Whatever you think is best.”
How can I possibly decide what is best? The words bubble up past my lips before I can stop them. “Is it just going to continue this way? I don’t know what you want me to say and it’s exhausting.”
“I want you to believe me.”
“I do believe you.” I throw my hands up and pace in front of him. “Someone stole your ship and—”
“Not someone,” says Lir. “Your brother. And it’s not the ship I’m angry about. A good friend of mine was on that crew.”
“I’m sorry about your friend, but you’ve got to understand I can’t just accept that my brother…”
“It was him.”
“You won’t even explain to me how you know this. You don’t explain anything to me.” My steps falter and I cross my arms over my chest.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you. I only have to get you to the city. That’s what I’m going to do.” He brings his eyes up to meet mine, the stupid, emotionless tone of his voice ringing in my ears. “And nothing more.”
Tears burn at the back of my eyes. I’m torn apart with worry for Jace. I have to leave the safety of the forest. I’m hungry. I’m dirty. I haven’t had a good night’s rest in three or four days. Not only is my hopelessness coming to a head, it has been joined by loneliness. My only ally has turned his back on me and, as much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. Well, at least the boy that was my friend. This snappy, uncaring, and downright cold boy before me is nothing like the one I got to know before. I even miss that frustrating eyebrow.
I take a deep breath and open my mouth, but it’s useless to argue. Instead of the angry words festering in my throat, I simply say, “Fine.” I keep my eyes on the ground. “I think it’s best if you wait here and I go into the town. I’ll find some supplies and we’ll just spend another night here.” I don’t wait for him to respond before storming off. Maybe I just need some time alone, when the weight of my brother’s crimes doesn’t hang between us.
TWELVE
I work my way through a subdivision and head in the general direction of the big building I saw from above. The Collapse happened quickly enough, wiped enough people out, that looting wasn’t really a huge problem. Yes, a few cars litter the street and there’s some destruction, but mostly the town is quiet. Nature is creeping her way back in with overgrown yards, roots pushing up sidewalks and branches growing through power lines. I have to change directions and back track a few times, but eventually I reach what looks like a grocery store. It’s a lot bigger than I thought, but definitely a good find. I just hope it has what I need.
It’s a strain to force the doors open. Their tracks are rusted and the grating sound they make when I am able to get them to move is loud. At least it seems like no one else has been in here recently. I slip through the opening I create, just barely squeezing through. Windowless, the store is nearly pitch black, the only light coming in through the dingy glass of the doors. I flick the lighter and cup the flame with my hand to prevent it from going out. First thing to do is find a better source of light.