The boys first shook and then nodded their heads, but they couldn't utter a word. One man said, "Don't think that just because their mouths are as full as balloons they won't be able to stuff more in."
The man walked into Song Fanpings house and rummaged around until he found two white porcelain teacup lids. Then he made Baldy Li and Song Gang latch onto the nibs on their lids as if they were nipples. The kids did indeed manage to latch on, prompting everyone to burst out laughing again. They laughed until their bodies shook, producing tears, snot, saliva, and even an occasional fart, remarking on how it looked like the boys were latching onto Li Lan s nipples. Li Lan blushed furiously as she turned to look at her new husband. Appearing completely discomfited, Song Fanping walked up to the two boys, removed the lids from their lips, and suggested, "Why don't you go back inside?"
Baldy Li and Song Gang returned to the room and climbed up once again onto the bed. They exchanged despairing glances — their mouths were full of treats, but they couldn't swallow. Baldy Li was the first to think this through and quickly started to dig out a bit at a time from his mouth. Song Gang followed his lead. They spread out the newly extracted nuts, seeds, and hard candy on the bedsheet. The treats were gummy and sticky and glistened like snot, and they made an absolute mess of their parents’ bed. Having had their jaws propped open for too long, the boys now found that they couldn't shut them. They stared at each other's cavelike mouth, both at a complete loss. Meanwhile, they could hear Song Fanping and Li Lan outside calling for them again.
Li Lan's old neighbors had brought along their children and had walked through the alleys looking for Song Fanping's home. When they showed up, Li Lan felt a wave of pleasure that lasted only as long as a sneeze and then immediately fell into disappointment. It turned out that the neighbors weren't here to congratulate them on their marriage but, rather, to look for their missing chickens. The birds had trailed Baldy Li and Song Gang through the streets, but after that no one had any idea where they had gone. The neighbors started making a ruckus, cursing at Li Lan and Song Fanping: "What about our chickens? Where are our goddamn chickens?"
The newlyweds had no idea what they were talking about. "What chickens?"
"Our chickens…"
In a hubbub, they tried to describe what their chickens looked like. They said that lots of people had seen the chickens follow Baldy Li and Song Gang into the street. Song Fanping was perplexed. "Chickens aren't dogs. Why would they follow people into the street?"
The neighbors insisted that lots of people had seen Baldy Li and Song Gang dropping a trail of seeds and nuts, and the chickens had followed behind them and ended up in the street. Song Fanping and Li Lan called out to the boys and asked them, "Chickens? Did you see any chickens?"
Their jaws still locked open, the boys could only shake their heads.
The chicken search party consisted of a trio of men, a trio of women, and a trio of middle-school students, as well as a couple of boys slightly older than Baldy Li and Song Gang. The eleven of them surrounded Song Gang and Baldy Li, clucking at them angrily, "Where are our chickens? Did they follow you?"
Baldy Li and Song Gang nodded, and the mob turned back to Song Fanping and Li Lan. "See! The little bastards admit it."
They turned again to Baldy Li and Song Gang. "Where are our goddamn chickens?"
The boys shook their heads, which angered the mob. "You little bastards, you just nodded, now you're shaking your heads…"
The crowd insisted that roosters and hens were not fleas and ticks, and therefore they had to be somewhere in plain sight. They walked into Song Fanping's house, searching, opening cabinets, looking under the bed and into pots. The long-haired middle-school student, Sun Wei, even started sniffing Baldy Li and Song Gangs open mouths to see if he could detect any chicken on their breath. Sun Wei sniffed for a while but couldn't decide, so he called Victory Zhao over. Victory Zhao also sniffed for a while but couldn't tell either, so he asked Success Liu to come take a whiff. Success Liu smelled for a while and also concluded, "I don't think so."
After failing to find so much as a single feather, the search party came back outside, cursing and swearing. Song Fanping was no longer beaming with pride but, rather, had turned steely-faced. His bride was pale with terror and tugged at his clothes to hold him back, afraid that her new husband would start a fight. Song Fanping had been suffering silently, and even when these people barged out of his house saying all sorts of foul things, he still restrained himself, just glaring at them with firmly set eyes.
The search party started looking around the outside of the house. A few of them even took turns peering into the well, but they didn't see any hens and roosters, just the reflections of their own faces. The three middle-school students clambered up the tree like monkeys to see if the roosters and hens were hidden on the roof. They didn't find any chickens, though they did see a few sparrows.
Unable to find anything, the search party continued uttering proanities, fwhereupon one suggested, "Maybe they fell into the toilet and drowned while sneaking a peek at women's butts."
"Chickens also look at women's butts?"
"Roosters."
The men guffawed and the women tittered. By this point Li Lan was shaking all over. She no longer dared to even hold on to Song Fanping's clothes, feeling that she was bringing her own misfortunes onto her new husband. Song Fanping couldn't bear another word, and these people were still chattering as they walked away, "How about the hens?"
"The hens wait till the roosters drown and then remarry."
Song Fanping pointed to the man who was talking and bellowed, "Get back here!"
All of them turned back. Three men plus three middle-school students, three women and two boys. Song Fanping saw that they had stopped in their tracks, and he yelled again, "Get back here!"
All of them started cackling. The three men and three middle-school students walked up to Song Fanping and surrounded him, while the three women took the two boys and stood to one side, as if watching a good show. They knew they had him outnumbered and sneeringly asked him, "Do you want to treat us to a wedding banquet?" Song Fanping retorted, "No banquet, just my fist." He then pointed to the man in the middle and demanded, "Repeat what you just said."
The man sneered, "What did I say?"
Song Fanping hesitated, then said, "You were saying something about a hen…"
The person said, "Oh!" as he remembered, then asked, "You want me to repeat that?"
Song Fanping said, "If you dare say it again, I'll smash your mouth."
The man looked at his companions and the three students. "And what if I don't?"
Song Fanping, stunned for a moment, eventually sighed. "Get out of here."
The group started laughing. The three middle-school students blocked Song Fanping and chanted in unison, "After the rooster drowns, the hen remarries?"
Song Fanping raised his fist, then lowered it again. He shook his head at the three students and pushed them out of his way. He was going back in when the first man said, "What does the hen remarry? Another rooster!"
Song Fanping turned around and punched him. His punch was swift and devastating, and the man promptly toppled over like an old blanket being tossed aside. Baldy Li and Song Gangs mouths suddenly both snapped shut.
When the man got up off the ground, his mouth was full of blood, and he spat out a mouthful mixed with saliva and snot. After Song Fanping threw his punch, he leapt out of the circle the group had formed around him. When they came at him, Song Fanping crouched down and kicked his right leg straight out. Baldy Li and Song Gang at that moment learned what a "sweeping leg kick" was; Song Fanping knocked down the three men with his one leg and made the three students stumble over one another.