Others responded, "That explains why Baldy Li is still waiting!"
Some people went to ask PR Liu, who by this point had been promoted to the position of executive deputy to the president. The townspeople of Liu at first called him Boss Liu, but he felt that Boss Liu sounded too much like Boss Li and therefore asked people to call him Executive Deputy Liu instead. Everyone, however, felt that that was too much trouble and therefore settled for Deputy Liu. It was as if Deputy Liu's mouth had grown a hymen, so absolute was his discretion. Even if his friends and relatives came to ask him the question, he would always give the same response: "No comment."
Two months later, the two cars Baldy Li had ordered finally arrived. One was a black Mercedes-Benz, and the other was a white BMW. Why had he suddenly bought two new sedans? Baldy Li announced that he wanted to become one with nature, sitting in his white BMW during the day and in his black Mercedes at night. These were the first high-end sedans to arrive in Liu Town, and when they were parked in front of Baldy Li's company, everyone crowded around to marvel at them. They all agreed that the Mercedes was exceedingly black and the BMW exceedingly white. The Mercedes was even blacker than the skin of Africans, and the BMW was whiter than that of Europeans; the Mercedes was blacker than coal and the BMW whiter than freshly driven snow; the Mercedes was blacker than ink and the BMW whiter than paper. Everyone concluded that the Mercedes was blacker than night and the BMW was whiter than day. The whitest BMW sedan in the world drove two loops around Liu Town during the day, and the blackest Mercedes sedan drove two loops around town at night. While the cars were making their loops, Baldy Li was not inside, only his driver. The Santana driver had been promoted to be the Mercedes and BMW chauffeur.
Everyone was convinced that now that Baldy Li's new sedans had arrived, the host of his unveiling ceremony would somehow mysteriously appear as well. They started speculating again about who that important personage would be. Having eliminated County Governor Tao Qing from consideration, they started with the mayor and again worked their way up to the secretary-general of the United Nations.
One evening Lin Hong ate dinner all alone and was standing alone in her doorway when Deputy Liu appeared. He hurried forward, with someone panting along behind him with a red carpet on his shoulders. Deputy Liu marched up to Lin Hong and very politely asked her to get out of the way. With a look of bewilderment, she stepped aside and let him in, then watched as he directed the man behind him to unroll the red carpet from Lin Hongs front door all the way to the street. The bystanders stared in astonishment, completely at a loss. Lin Hong also stared in astonishment, having no idea what was going on. Deputy Liu smiled and said to Lin Hong as though he were speaking with reporters, "Boss Li has requested that you go to unveil his portrait."
Lin Hong continued staring in astonishment, convinced that she must have misunderstood. The crowds around her were initially speechless with surprise and then exploded into a cacophonous roar. Deputy Liu lowered his voice and whispered to Lin Hong, "Quick, go change your clothes."
Lin Hong finally realized why he was here. She looked blankly at the crowds surrounding her and heard their buzzing voices and thought she heard someone say that an ugly ducking had turned into a beautiful swan. She laughed bitterly and stared at Deputy Liu, not knowing what to do. Deputy Liu again quietly urged her to go change her clothes, but she only registered that his mouth was moving, without understanding what he was saying.
She stood in the Liu Town twilight, looking as if she had fallen into a stupor. She stared blankly at the crowds that kept accumulating in the street. At one point she appeared to forget what was happening, but then she furrowed her brow and finally seemed to remember. She shook her head hesitantly and nervously looked behind her. She didn't see Song Gang but just her empty house. When she turned around again, a white BMW sedan was slowly coming up the street, followed by a black Mercedes, and the crowd cried out, "Baldy Li has arrived!"
Baldy Li had, in fact, arrived, together with his two new cars, for which he had hired two drivers. First the white BMW drove up and stopped in front of the red carpet. Then the black Mercedes pulled up behind it, and as Deputy Liu ran to open the door, an impeccably dressed Baldy Li emerged, smiling. He was carrying a single red rose and had a rose boutonniere in his front pocket. He walked up to the baffled Lin Hong, and when he handed her the rose he was holding, this local moneybags looked like a genuine foreign gentleman. First he delicately sniffed the rose, then he handed it to Lin Hong. He then held her hand as he led her onto the red carpet and started walking back to the BMW. Extending his hand, he gestured gallantly for her to get in. Lin Hong looked back nervously but saw only the empty doorway of her house. She then looked at the crowds, saw the strange expressions on their faces, and heard their dull roar. Suddenly she wanted to get away as quickly as possible, and therefore she climbed into the BMW — never having ridden in a sedan before, she didn't get in so much as crawl in. The crowd saw her wiggle her butt as though she were trying to climb into a foxhole. Then they watched as Baldy Li waved at them and lowered himself into his seat.
After Deputy Liu helped close the door, the white BMW drove away, with the black Mercedes following behind. Deputy Liu's underling rolled the red carpet back up and once again loaded it onto his shoulder, then followed Deputy Liu as he began to walk away. One of the bystanders asked, "After Lin Hong unveils the portrait, will she spend the night with Baldy Li?"
Deputy Liu answered without turning around, "No comment."
CHAPTER 69
THE WHITE BMW and the black Mercedes slowly drove through Liu. When the sun was about to set, the BMW stopped at a curve in the road and Baldy Li announced, "It has gotten dark," then opened the door and pulled Lin Hong out of the white BMW. The instant night fell he pulled her into the black Mercedes, blending into the night. Lin Hong was grasping her rose, still so completely bewildered by what had just transpired that she didn't even realize they had switched cars. Baldy Li just gazed at her with a chivalrous smile on his face.
When the black Mercedes drove up to the entrance to Baldy Li's company, he leapt out and opened the door for Lin Hong, then gallantly led her into his brightly illuminated office. Baldy Li took Lin Hong by the hand, led her over to the couch and, gazing at her tenderly, said, "I've been waiting for this day for twenty years."
Lin Hong stared at him, perplexed, and laughed noncommittally Baldy Li took the rose she was holding and tossed it onto the coffee table, then reached out and began caressing her face. Lin Hong began to tremble as Baldy Li's hands slid down to her shoulders, from her shoulders on down her arms, and finally to her hands, waiting patiently for her to stop trembling. He felt that he had a million things to tell her but didn't know where to begin. He shook his head, and said unhappily, "Lin Hong, please understand…"
Lin Hong looked at him in confusion, not knowing what she was supposed to understand. Baldy Li said pathetically, "I have forgotten how to court someone. I hope you'll understand…"
"Understand what?" Lin Hong asked quietly.
"Fuck," Baldy Li cursed. "I don't know how to talk about love. I only know how to make love."
Then he became a bandit. As Lin Hong stared at him in bewilderment, not having the slightest idea what he was talking about, he grabbed her and stuck his hand into her underpants. He did this lightning-fast, and by the time she realized what had happened, she was already pinned down on the couch with her pants pulled down to her knees. She grabbed her pants with both hands and cried out, "Stop, stop! Stop doing that!"