Yanker Yu, meanwhile, was a revolutionary opportunist. He would ask about class background when a patient came to see him but just as often would wait until he had first opened the customer's mouth to get a clear look at his cavities. He worried that if he found he had a landlord on his hands, he would lose both the customer and the money; but if he didn't interrogate his prospective patients, he couldn't be considered a revolutionary dentist. He wanted both money and revolution, and therefore often only when he had his extractor firmly around a client's rotten tooth would he seize the moment to demand in a ringing voice, "Tell me! What's your class background?"
The customer, mouth stuffed with dental implements, would mumble unintelligibly. Yanker Yu would make a big show of bending over to listen, then loudly proclaim, "A poor peasant? Good! I will pull out your rotten tooth."
By the time he finished this declaration, Yu would be done extracting the tooth. He would then immediately thrust a cotton wad into his patients mouth and tell him to clamp down tightly to stanch the bleeding. With his jaw clamped and his mouth stuffed, the customer, even if he had admitted to being a landlord, would be forcefully remade into a poor peasant. With a flourish, Yanker Yu would show his customer the rotten tooth. "See that? This is a poor peasants rotten tooth. If you had been a landlord, then it would have been a perfectly healthy tooth that I would have extracted."
Then Yanker Yu would display a firm stance of clear separation of boundaries between revolution and profit, saying, "Chairman Mao teaches us that a revolution is not a dinner party. Since I extracted one revolutionary tooth, I must therefore collect ten cents of revolutionary money."
Revolutionary Blacksmith Tong never inquired about his customers’ class backgrounds, convinced that he was so ideologically righteous that a class enemy would never dare to enter his shop. Tong thumped his chest and proclaimed, "Only hardworking, poor peasants would come to my shop to buy sickles and hammers; lazy landlords only know how to exploit others and wouldn't know the first thing about hammers and sickles."
The tides of revolution came roaring through town, and soon Blacksmith Tong, Tailor Zhang, and the two Scissors Guan engaged heartily and solely in revolutionary activity. With a revolutionary red armband around his bare arm, Blacksmith Tong no longer hammered out sickles and hoes but, rather, spearheads for red-tasseled spears. As soon as he finished hammering out a spearhead he would send it to the blade-sharpening shop across from his own. The two Scissors Guan now also wore revolutionary armbands on their bare arms, and they were no longer sharpening scissors but sat at their low stools sharpening spearheads, their legs apart and rivulets of sweat running down their backs. Once the two Scissors Guan sharpened the spearhead, they would send it to Tailor Zhang's store next door. Tailor Zhang was wearing an undershirt, but his arms were bare, and he too wore a revolutionary armband. He no longer made clothes; instead he now only made red flags, red armbands, and the silk tassels that hung from the spears. The Cultural Revolution was remaking Liu Town into a revolutionary battlefield, another Jing Gang Mountain — by now the town was already transformed into a scene from Chairman Mao's verse: "flags waving at the bottom of the mountain, with drums ringing from above."
Yanker Yu's arm was also adorned with a red revolutionary armband, which Tailor Zhang had given him. Yanker Yu watched Tong, Guan, and Zhang working as if in a single production line, producing red-tasseled spears, while Yu was left out in the cold. Red-tasseled spears had no teeth, so he couldn't pull or fill them, and certainly couldn't fit them with dentures. All Yanker Yu could do was lie back in his rattan recliner and wait for the call of the revolution.
In Baldy Li's wanderings, he would watch Tong, Guan, and Zhang busy producing red-tasseled spears as if they were a munitions factory. When he tired of watching, he would wander over to Yanker Yu's oilcloth umbrella. Now that he no longer had Song Gang constantly by his side, Baldy Li was often lonely and bored. Wherever he went, he brought his yawns with him, and when Yanker Yu saw him, he would be infected by these yawns.
Alongside the row of extracted rotten teeth that Yanker Yu used to display on his table, he now very progressively displayed a dozen or so perfectly good teeth to demonstrate his class stand to everyone. He even wanted to demonstrate it to the eight-year-old Baldy Li, so he raised himself up from his rattan recliner and, pointing to the teeth, explained, "These are the healthy teeth that I've extracted from class enemies." He then pointed to the several dozen rotten teeth on the table and explained, "These are the rotten teeth that I've extracted from the mouths of my class brothers and sisters."
Baldy Li nodded without enthusiasm. He looked over the healthy teeth of class enemies and the rotten teeth of class brothers and sisters and didn't find any of them very interesting. He then sat down on Yanker Yu's stool next to the recliner and continued yawning. Yanker Yu had passed a listless morning on his recliner, and now that he finally had Baldy Li visiting, they matched each other yawn for yawn.
Yanker Yu sat up. Looking over at the electrical pole across the street, he patted Baldy Li's head and asked, "Aren't you going to go hump that pole?"
"I already did," Baldy Li replied.
"Go hump it again," Yanker Yu encouraged him.
"Nah," explained Baldy Li. "I've humped every pole in this town at least several times."
"Oh, my mother!" Yanker Yu exclaimed. "If this were ancient times, you'd be the emperor with your own harem, but now you're a serial rapist about to be jailed and executed."
When Baldy Li, who was midyawn, heard the phrase "jailed and executed," he was so startled that he swallowed the rest of the yawn and opened his eyes wide. "I'll be jailed and executed for humping electrical poles?"
"Of course." Yanker Yu pointed to the pole and asked Baldy Li, "Do you regard them as class enemies or as class sisters?"
Still wide-eyed, Baldy Li didn't understand. Yanker Yu enthusiastically continued, "If you think of the poles as class enemies, then humping them would be like criticizing them. But if you treat the poles as class sisters, you would need to register for a marriage license. If you don't register and get married, you're a rapist. Now that you've humped every pole in the town, it's as if you've molested every class sister in town. So why wouldn't they jail and execute you?"
After hearing Yanker Yu's explanation, Baldy Li was relieved of his worries over execution and imprisonment, and his wide-open eyes relaxed to narrow slits. Yanker Yu patted Baldy Li on the head and asked, "Now do you get it? Now do you understand what having a class stand is?"
"Yup." Baldy Li nodded.
"So tell me," Yanker Yu continued, "do you think of them as class enemies? Or class sisters?"
Baldy Li blinked a few times. "What if I think of them as class electrical poles?"
Yanker Yu was stunned into silence. Then he burst out laughing. "You little bastard."
After Baldy Li spent half an hour at Yanker Yu's, Yu was amused but Baldy Li was still bored, so he got up and went back to Blacksmith Tongs shop. Baldy Li sat on Tongs long bench with his back against the wall and his head half cocked, watching Blacksmith Tong energetically hammering out a red-tasseled spear. The blacksmith held the spear with his tongs in his left hand and wielded his iron hammer with his right as sparks flew all over the shop. The red revolutionary armband on Blacksmith Tongs left arm kept slipping down, and he would raise his tongs-wielding left hand to slide the armband back up, waving the spearhead in his tongs through the air. As he hammered away Blacksmith Tong looked over at Baldy Li, remembering how the little fellow used to climb onto the long bench and rub back and forth but now would just lean against it dejectedly like a diseased chicken squatting in a corner. Blacksmith Tong couldn't help but ask him, "Hey you're not going to have sexual relations with the bench?"