Li Lan smiled. "I'm fine."
The old man continued, "Go buy something to eat. There's a snack shop about twenty yards from here, just down to the right."
Li Lan shook her head. "What if he comes while I'm gone?"
The old man said, "I'll keep an eye out for him. Tell me, what does he look like?"
Li Lan thought for a bit, then shook her head. "I'd better stay here and wait for him myself."
The two of them fell silent. The old man returned to his post, where there was always someone at the window asking about something or other. Li Lan continued to sit on the steps, watching everyone who passed by. Finally, the old man got up and walked over to Li Lan, saying, "Let me get you something to eat."
Li Lan started. The old man repeated himself and extended Li Lan his hand. She now understood and hurriedly reached into her pockets for money and grain coupons. The old man asked her, "What would you like? Steamed buns? With meat or bean filling? How about a bowl of wonton soup?"
Li Lan handed over her money and grain coupons. "Two plain buns would be fine."
The old man took the money. "You're so frugal."
He walked away from the gate, then turned around. "Don't let anyone into the guardroom. Everything inside belongs to the nation."
Li Lan nodded. "I know."
At about half past three in the afternoon, Li Lan finally had something to eat. She slowly ripped off chunk after chunk of bun and placed them in her mouth, methodically chewing and swallowing. She hadn't had any water all day, so eating was difficult, like gulping down bitter medicine. When the old man saw this, he handed her his teacup. Li Lan raised the tea-stained cup and slowly sipped from it. She finished one bun, then wrapped up the other one and placed it in her travel bag. After having the bun, Li Lan felt herself regaining some of her strength. She stood up and said to the old man in the guardroom, "The bus he was taking would have arrived in Shanghai by eleven A.M. Even if he were walking, he should have been here by now."
The old man agreed. "Even if he were crawling, he still should have gotten here by now."
Li Lan surmised that Song Fanping must have taken the afternoon bus. She wondered if some important matter had delayed him. She felt that she should go to the bus depot herself, since the afternoon bus got into Shanghai at 5 P.M. Li Lan gave the old man a careful description of Song Fanping, adding that if Song did arrive, to please tell him that she had gone to the bus depot. The old man told her not to worry, that he would ask every tall man who came by whether he was Song Fanping.
Li Lan took up her travel bag and walked out the hospital gate. She stood for a while at the bus stop, but then returned to the guard window. When the old man saw her, he asked, "How come you're back?"
Li Lan replied, "I forgot to mention something."
The old man asked, "What?"
Li Lan looked into his eyes and said solemnly, "Thank you, you are a good man."
Small and frail, Li Lan carried her heavy travel bag and squeezed onto the bus. She swayed along with the crowd inside and was dizzied by the foul stench of armpits and feet and mouths. Then she squeezed off the bus, only to squeeze onto another one, finally arriving at the depot after three bus transfers. By then it was almost five. She stood at the stations exit, rays of sunset bathing her in a reddish glow as she watched bus after bus pull into the station and group after group of travelers emerge from the platform. Her face was once again red with excitement and her spirits were high, because she knew that when one of the passengers emerged a head taller than the rest, that man would be Song Fanping. So she set her gaze at the tops of the travelers’ heads, still firmly believing that Song Fanping would walk out through the exit. The very possibility of an accident had not even crossed her mind.
At this moment Baldy Li and Song Gang were waiting for her at the bus depot back in Liu Town. As the gates of the Liu Town bus depot were closing, the gates of the Shanghai depot were also shut. As Baldy Li and Song Gang made their way home, eating the buns that Mama Su had given them, Li Lan was still waiting by the exit at the Shanghai bus depot. The sky began to darken, but Li Lan still did not see Song Fanping's tall figure. When the heavy metal gates of the bus depot were shut, she felt as if her brain had been drained of all content, and she just stood there, barely conscious.
Li Lan passed the night outside the door of the waiting room. She considered going to stay with Song Fanping s sister, but Song Fanping s sister hadn't given her the address, since neither of them expected that Song Fanping would fail to arrive in Shanghai. The sister assumed that as long as Song Fanping himself knew the address, that would be enough. Therefore Li Lan slept on the ground like a homeless beggar. Mosquitoes stung her throughout this summer night, but she did not notice as she drifted fitfully in and out of sleep.
In the latter half of the night a crazy woman came to keep Li Lan company. First the woman sat by her side, carefully examining her, cackling all the while. Li Lan, wakened by her eerie laugh, let out a gasp when she made out the filthy face and figure of the crazy woman by the glow of the streetlight. In response, the crazy woman let out a shriller, louder cry, as if Li Lan had frightened her. Then she sat down as if nothing had happened and continued gazing at Li Lan, cackling.
Li Lan was still recovering from her initial fright when the crazy woman started to hum a tune. As she hummed she also muttered, her voice popping like a machine gun. Li Lan was no longer scared. Though she could not make out what the crazy woman was saying, the continual din of a human voice actually put her at ease. With a faint smile, Li Lan fell back to sleep.
After some time had passed, Li Lan in her dreams heard the sounds of palms slapping. She raised her sleep-heavy lids to see the crazy woman, sitting by her side, flapping her arms to shoo away the mosquitoes, and sometimes slapping at them. The crazy woman repeatedly slapped her hands together, then carefully scraped the mosquitoes from her palms and put them in her mouth, chuckling as she gulped them down. Her actions reminded Li Lan of the steamed bun in her bag, so she sat up, took out the bun, and broke off half for the crazy woman.
Li Lan extended the bun almost directly to the woman's face, but she ignored it. She cackled as she slapped at the mosquitoes and placed them into her mouth. Her raised arm tiring, Li Lan was about to put it down when the woman suddenly snatched away the half bun. Then the woman immediately stood up and walked down the waiting room's steps, moaning and muttering and acting as if she was looking for something. She took a few steps south, then a few steps north, and finally raised the bun in her hand and proceeded east. As the crazy woman walked farther away, Li Lan was finally able to make out what she was saying: "Brother, brother …"
Li Lan was now alone again under the dim streetlight. She sat and slowly ate her bun, feeling hollow inside. As she finished, the streetlight suddenly went out, and when she looked up, she saw the first rays of daybreak. It was at that moment that her tears finally gushed forth.
Li Lan boarded the early bus. As the bus pulled out of the station she turned around, still scanning the streets outside in hopes of catching sight of Song Fanping. Only when the bus left Shanghai and the landscape outside her window had turned into fields did Li Lan close her eyes. She rested her head on the window frame and dozed off despite the bumpiness of the drive. During that three-hour journey, Li Lan repeatedly drifted in and out of sleep, and images of those envelopes floated into her mind. Why were the stamps always placed in different spots? Her earlier suspicions resurfaced and grew stronger and stronger. She knew that Song Fanping was a man of his word, and if he said that he would come pick her up in Shanghai, then he would do so at all costs. If he hadn't come, then something must have happened. This train of thought caused her heart to shudder. As the bus neared Liu Town and the landscape outside her window grew increasingly familiar, Li Lan's uneasy premonitions grew stronger and stronger. By now she was convinced that something terrible must have happened. Her whole body shook as she buried her face in her hands, and she didn't dare think more concretely. She felt that she was falling apart as tears streamed from her eyes.