Baldy Li hadn't seen Lin Hong in a long time, not since being appointed factory director, and he had almost forgotten all about Liu Town's resident beauty. Upon encountering her on the bridge that day, however, he became so excited he developed a nosebleed, with two streams of blood gushing from his nose into his mouth. As a result, Baldy Li enjoyed another brief moment of fame, almost as great as that time several years earlier when he was caught being a Peeping Tom. Everyone in Liu Town laughed heartily over this incident, remarking that nothing since Baldy Li was caught spying on women's bottoms had provided them with comparable entertainment. Liu Town, they said, was becoming duller by the year, its residents increasingly dispirited, and therefore it was a good thing that Baldy Li had decided to make a public spectacle of himself again, and wouldn't you know it, it was once again all about Lin Hong.
Baldy Li ignored their laughter, saying that the blood was merely an "offering" and asking, "Who else in the world could claim to have offered up his lifeblood for love?" Patting his chest, he declared, "The glory belongs solely to me."
The elders of Liu were more tactful and remarked, "It is true that famous people do famous things."
When this reached Baldy Li's ears, he nodded with satisfaction. "Well, the rich and famous always live larger than ordinary folks."
Baldy Li, who had previously beaten Writer Liu to the point that he developed a case of delusional memory, seemed to have contracted a similar delusional syndrome. He racked his brain trying to explain why Lin Hong had leaned so close to him when she passed, so close that her long braid almost caressed his nose. Combining illusions of love with delusions of grandeur, he concluded that she must be in love with him; and even if she hadn't fallen in love with him yet, there was no question that she was about to. Baldy Li decided that there had been altogether too many people on the bridge and in the street, and if their encounter had taken place in the middle of the night with no one around, Lin Hong would certainly have stopped to gaze longingly at him, committing to memory every wrinkle and blood vessel in his face. Upon reaching that conclusion, he grinned stupidly as he informed Song Gang, "Lin Hong fancies me."
Song Gang knew about Lin Hong and knew that this Liu Town beauty was the object of all the townsmen's fantasies. Song Gang himself felt that she was as unattainable as the moon and the stars, and therefore Baldy Li's assertion that she was interested in him left Song Gang speechless. Was it possible that Lin Hong would fancy the same Baldy Li who had peeped at her in the public toilet more than six years earlier? Song Gang wasn't so sure. He asked Baldy Li, "And why do you think Lin Hong fancies you?"
"Because I'm Factory Director Li, of course!" Baldy Li patted his chest and added, "Just think, among the twenty-odd factory directors in and about Liu Town, aren't I the only bachelor?"
"You're right!" Song Gang replied, nodding vigorously. "In the old days they used to speak of a fine match being that of a talented man and a beautiful woman. That describes you and Lin Hong perfectly!"
"Of course!" Baldy Li excitedly punched Song Gang. His eyes lighting up, he said, "That's precisely what I'm talking about."
Song Gang's comment helped Baldy Li pinpoint the theoretical foundation for his and Lin Hong's romance, after which he began to pursue Lin Hong in earnest. Many of the young men of Liu had pursued or were in the midst of pursuing Lin Hong, but ultimately these men of weak will and weaker courage would throw up their hands. Only the remarkable Baldy Li refused to admit defeat.
Baldy Li pursued Lin Hong with a vengeance and anointed Song Gang as his military advisor. Song Gang had read his share of tattered old books on the art of war and said that in olden times, before engaging in battle, it was customary to send a messenger with a declaration of war. "What I don't know is whether in a combat d'amour it is also necessary to first send a messenger."
"Of course we should," Baldy Li said. "Let Lin Hong prepare herself, because otherwise it may all be too sudden for her. What will we do if she simply faints from the excitement?"
Baldy Li selected five six-year-old boys he ran across on his way to work at the Good Works Factory to serve as his messengers. These boys had been playing in the street when they started pointing at Baldy Li and arguing. One boy said that this baldy was none other than the one who was said to have peeped at Lin Hongs bottom and who was rumored to have developed a nosebleed upon seeing her again. Another boy said that this must be someone else, because that person was called Baldy Li. When Baldy Li heard them, he thought that if even these little ruffians knew of the rumors, he must already have become a legendary figure in Liu Town. He paused and waved them over. The snot-nosed boys came and looked up at the infamous Baldy Li, who pointed at himself and said, "This old man is Baldy Li."
Several of the boys stared at Baldy Li in happy astonishment. Baldy Li gestured for them to wipe their noses and then asked, "You also know Lin Hong?"
The boys all nodded and replied, "The Lin Hong who works at the knitting factory."
Baldy Li snorted in amusement and said that he wanted to give them a glorious assignment: "Run over to the knitting factory and wait at the door for Lin Hong to get off work, like a midnight cat waiting at a mouse hole for a midnight mouse. When she does comes out, I want you to call out to her …" Baldy Li then shouted out in a boys voice, "'Baldy Li wants to court you!'"
The boys giggled and hollered in unison, "Baldy Li wants to court you!"
"That's right," Baldy Li said approvingly and patted them on their heads. "There is one more sentence: ‘Are you ready?'"
The boys cried out, "Are you ready?"
Baldy Li was very satisfied and complimented the boys on having learned so quickly. He counted them and found that there were five boys. He retrieved a nickel from his pocket, bought ten pieces of hard candy from a street stall, and then gave one to each boy, placing the five remaining pieces back into his own pocket. Baldy Li told the boys that when they finished their task, they could come for the rest of their reward. Then Baldy Li, like a general on a battlefield directing his soldiers to advance, gestured in the direction of the knitting factory and shouted, "Forward, march!"
The boys immediately unwrapped their candies and stuffed them into their mouths, then stood there without moving, happily sucking on their candy. Baldy Li gestured again, but they still didn't budge. Finally, he said, "Damn it, hurry up and go!"
After looking at one another, they asked Baldy Li, "What does to court mean?"
"To court?" Baldy Li pondered hard and then said, "To court means to marry someone, to sleep together at night."
The boys giggled, and Baldy Li once again pointed to the knitting factory with his short, stubby finger. They walked forward while crying out, "Baldy Li wants to court you! Get married! Sleep with you! Are you ready?"
"Fuck. Get back here!" Baldy Li called out urgently. "Don't mention anything about marriage or sleeping together. Just focus on the courtship part."
That afternoon Baldy Li's five emissaries of love walked toward the knitting factory, shouting all the way. The people of Liu stared in amazement upon seeing them go by, never in their wildest dreams having imagined that Baldy Li would resort to such a tactic as having a bunch of snot-nosed and split-pants-wearing boys court Lin Hong on his behalf. Everyone laughed and shook their heads, saying that Baldy Li must have shit and piss for brains to come up with such an idiotic plan. They concluded that he, having spent all his time with two cripples, three idiots, four blind men, and five deaf men, had allowed his own brain to become handicapped.