From far away Lin Hong spotted Baldy Li standing at the factory gate. She heard the other women gasp in astonishment as she walked toward the gate with a pale face. When she saw Song Gang standing next to Baldy Li, she couldn't help staring at him — this being the first time she had noticed the tall and dashing Song Gang.
When Baldy Li saw Lin Hong walk through the gate, he called out sorrowfully, "Lin Hong, it was all a misunderstanding! Yesterday, those little bastards said the wrong thing. I didn't tell them to say intercourse but, rather, to court. I, Baldy Li, want to court you."
When the women leaving the factory heard Baldy Li's sorrowful cries and saw his sorrowful expression, they again erupted into waves of laughter. Lin Hong was already numb with fury, and she walked past Baldy Li in complete silence. He followed closely behind her, raising his fist, beating his chest like a drum, and shouting, "I swear by all that is sacred and holy in the world!"
Baldy Li paid no attention to the tittering of the female factory workers, and instead continued to proclaim sorrowfully, "Those little bastards really did shout the wrong thing. There was a class enemy who messed things up."
Eventually Baldy Li began to calm down. He stopped pounding his chest and instead started knocking his own head. "That class enemy is destroying our proletariat revolutionary spirit, deliberately getting those little bastards to shout out intercourse. Lin Hong, don't worry, no matter how deeply hidden this class enemy is, I will make sure to ferret him out and conduct proletarian revolution against him."
Then Baldy Li said in all sincerity, "Lin Hong, whatever you do, don't forget class struggle!"
Finally Lin Hong couldn't stand it anymore. She turned around to face Baldy Li, who was still hollering behind her. Gritting her teeth, she uttered the foulest words she had ever uttered: "I hope you die!"
This made Baldy Li stop dead in his tracks, as if he didn't know what had hit him. It was not until the other factory workers walked past and their hysterical laughter died away that he finally recovered from the shock. He wanted to chase after her, but Song Gang restrained him. Pausing, Baldy Li gazed longingly at Lin Hong's departing shadow.
The brothers headed home. Baldy Li did not feel at all that he had failed and maintained his proud stride. Song Gang, by contrast, trailed listlessly at his side. He ventured nervously, "I don't think Lin Hong is interested in you."
"That's absurd," Baldy Li responded, adding confidently, "It's simply inconceivable that she would not be interested."
Song Gang shook his head and said, "If she really fancied you, she would not have said such an ugly thing."
"What do you know?" Baldy Li lectured Song Gang like an old hand. "Women are like that. The more they like you, the more they act like they hate you. When they do want you, they pretend that they don't."
Song Gang felt that what Baldy Li said sounded plausible. He regarded Baldy Li with surprise. "How do you know all this?"
"Worldly experience," Baldy Li replied proudly. "Just think, I often attend meetings with the other factory directors, all of whom are worldly, clever people, and they say this is how things are."
Song Gang nodded his head in admiration and conceded that the people Baldy Li hung out with were indeed a cut above the rest, and indeed it seemed that their worldliness had broadened Baldy Li's perspective, too. Just then Baldy Li abruptly cried out, "There's an aphorism that captures this idea." Baldy Li slapped his head and said regretfully, "Fuck, why can't I think of it?"
The entire walk back, Baldy Li struggled to remember the aphorism. He spit out seventeen more "fucks" but couldn't think of it. Song Gang tried to help, but by the time they got home they still hadn't made any progress. Song Gang then immediately went to look up the phrase in his middle-school dictionary of aphorisms, leafing through it on his bed for the longest time. Eventually he asked Baldy Li, "Is it playing cat and mouse?"
"Yes, that's it!" Baldy Li cried out. "She's playing cat and mouse with me."
That night Baldy Li and Song Gang burned the midnight oil discussing how to break through Lin Hong's game of cat and mouse. When it came time to discuss battle tactics, Song Gang suddenly appeared full of wisdom. He closed his eyes and tried to recollect what he could from the half of a tattered volume of Sunzi's The Art of War he'd read. He then opened his eyes, analyzed Lin Hong's oppositional tactics again, and said approvingly, "The cat and mouse strategy is fantastic. She can advance to make gains, and then retreat to secure her position."
After that, Song Gang took the dictionary of aphorisms and continued leafing through it. Upon finding five more apt aphorisms, he proudly held up five fingers, telling Baldy Li, "If you use these five stratagems, you will be assured of breaking through Lin Hongs game of cat and mouse."
"What are they?" Baldy Li asked excitedly.
Song Gang counted out on his fingers: "Beating around the bush. Coming straight to the point. Laying siege at the outskirts of the city. Penetrating behind enemy lines. Beating to a pulp. "
Song Gang explained to Baldy Li that he had already deployed the first two strategies. Yesterday, when he had the boys go and call out for him, this was beating around the bush. Today when he personally went to confront her, this was coming straight to the point. Why is the third strategy called laying siege at the outskirts of the city? Because one shouldn't go in alone again; rather, Baldy Li should have all his Good Works Factory workers go in on his behalf, to give Lin Hong a taste of the strength of his numbers. As for the fourth strategy, penetrating behind enemy lines, Song Gang said that this was the most crucial one and the key to his success.
Baldy Li's eyes glittered as he asked, "How do I penetrate behind enemy lines?"
"Go to her house," Song Gang said. "Penetrating behind enemy lines means to go into her home and conquer her parents — this is referred to as catching the thieves by first capturing their chief."
Baldy Li nodded his head vigorously, asking, "And what is beating to a pulp?"
"Pursue her every day without giving up, until she finally gives you her hand in marriage," Song Gang said.
Baldy Li pounded the table fiercely and shouted, "Song Gang, you certainly live up to the title of being my military advisor."
Baldy Li immediately sprung into action, and the very next afternoon he started laying siege at the outskirts of the city. He took his fourteen crippled, idiot, blind, and deaf loyal minions and swaggered through the streets of Liu. Many of the townspeople saw this scene and laughed so hard their bellies ached and their throats became raw. Baldy Li was afraid the two cripples would lag behind everyone else, so he had them walk at the very front of the procession. When the rest of the courtship brigade tried to advance, however, they found their progress blocked by the cripples, leaving everyone in complete disarray. One of the cripples at the front listed to the left and the other listed to the right, and as they proceeded they gradually ended up on opposite sides of the road. This left the three idiots behind them completely confused. At first they took several steps to the left, then doubled back and took several steps to the right. The three idiots swerving left and right as they walked together hand in hand made the four cane-carrying blind men knock themselves silly. After they had fallen down and gotten back up, there was only one blind man who was still marching in the right direction — two were going backward, and the fourth found his way obstructed by a wutong tree. He kept tapping the tree with his cane and calling out, "Director Li, Director Li, where am I?"