Baldy Li was soon bathed in sweat from his exertions. As soon as he had reorientated the first two blind men, the blind man who was originally walking in the correct direction had been knocked over by the three idiots, while the fourth blind man under the wutong tree was still calling out for help. Thankfully, there were the five deaf men. Baldy Li energetically directed them to stand in line and then sent one of them to retrieve the blind man under the wutong tree, two to look after the three idiots, and the remaining two to go help the blind man who had fallen over. Baldy Li seemed to be performing a dance, hopping all over the place as he directed the five deaf men while simultaneously pointing to his own ear as he explained to the onlookers, "These five are deaf."
As Baldy Li tried to rein in his courtship brigade, he discovered that the crux of the problem lay with the two cripples. Therefore, he sprinted to the front of the procession and directed them to switch positions, so that the one who listed right was now on the left-hand side and vice versa. This way they no longer drifted apart but, rather, hobbled together. Every few steps they would bump into each other, and after separating they would walk a few more steps and bump into each other again. Baldy Li continued his street dance, wildly gesticulating at the five deaf men, who finally understood what to do. Two of them walked to the left of the brigade, and the other three walked to the right, like gendarmes maintaining the order of the procession.
This courtship brigade finally found its footing. Baldy Li wiped the sweat from his brow and faced the crowd laughing on the side of the street, like a leader waving a greeting. The onlookers chattered to each other, wondering where this brigade was headed. Baldy Li announced that he was bringing along all of the Good Works Factory's workers to lay siege at the outskirts of the knitting factory, in order to declare his undying love to Lin Hong: "I want Lin Hong to know that my love for her is taller than a mountain and deeper than the sea."
This was an unheard-of event in Liu Town, and everyone rushed toward the knitting factory. A number of sales clerks took time off from work, and even more people slipped out from the factories to come and watch the spectacle, completely packing the streets with spectators. Everyone crowded around Baldy Li's courtship brigade like waves around a whirlpool, and together they surged toward the knitting factory.
The old gatekeeper at the factory was very excited to see such a sea of people, and he noted that not since the end of the Cultural Revolution had he seen so many people in the same place at once. Then, with a turn of humor, he added, "For a second I thought that Chairman Mao himself had arrived."
The crowds, however, replied humorlessly "Chairman Mao has been dead for several years now."
"I know that," the gatekeeper snapped. "Who doesn't know that our beloved Chairman Mao has passed away?"
Baldy Li's courtship procession stood at the factory gate, and he instructed his fourteen loyal minions to form two divisions, with the two cripples, four blind men, and two of the deaf men standing in the vanguard, and the three idiots and the remaining three deaf men taking up the rear. Baldy Li had spent the entire morning back at the factory rehearsing this formation: the eight crippled, blind, and deaf men in the vanguard shouting out in unison and the three deaf-mutes in the rear clapping vigorously. As for the three idiots, Baldy Li had learned well the bitter lesson from the last time Tao Qing came to observe them — that three feet of ice cannot be produced by a single day's frost. Baldy Li knew that when the time came for them to call out Lin Hong's name, they would call out "Director Li" instead, and therefore he had spent the entire morning teaching them how to lift their hands and cover their mouths. Baldy Li was most worried about these three idiots, and now that they were waiting at the factory gate, he had them practice covering their mouths three more times. When he lifted his hands to his mouth, the three idiots did the same. Baldy Li inspected each of them and then announced with satisfaction, "You have covered them so well that not even water could seep through."
By this point the crowds roar was deafening, and Baldy Li turned toward them, lifted his arms, and then thrust them back down again. In a manner reminiscent of the famous conductor Herbert van Karajan, Baldy Li lifted his arms seven times and thrust them back seven more times, and finally the crowds roar began to subside. Baldy Li lifted his index finger and spun around as he began to shhhh everyone. He repeatedly pivoted his body a full 180 degrees, almost making himself dizzy, until the crowd eventually grew silent. Baldy Li then cried out, "Everyone cooperate, okay?"
"Okay!" they shouted.
Baldy Li nodded with satisfaction, but the crowd started buzzing again. Baldy Li immediately lifted his finger and shhhhed them again while pivoting his body back and forth.
The bell announcing the end of the workday had not rung yet, but the knitting factory's Director Liu was an infamous chain-smoker. The thirty something director smoked three packs a day, puffing nonstop from morning to night. Smoking a cigarette, he was accompanied by several people to the entranceway where he learned that Baldy Li was laying siege to his factory and furthermore had brought virtually the towns entire population with him. As he strode toward the gate he jumped back in surprise when he saw the enormous crowd massed oppressively outside like a dark cloud and thought to himself that this Baldy Li really was an utter and complete bastard. Director Liu and Baldy Li often attended meetings together and therefore knew each other quite well. Director Liu greeted Baldy Li from far away and said warmly, "Director Li, Director Li …"
As he arrived at Baldy Li's side Director Liu forgot that his cigarette was about to burn down to his finger and complained softly, "Director Li, what are you doing here? Just look at how you have completely blocked the entranceway. What will the workers do when they get off work?"
Baldy Li laughed and said, "Director Liu, I just need you to let Lin Hong come out for a second. We will have a couple of things to tell her, after which I will immediately withdraw my troops and return home."
Director Liu recognized that this was the only solution. Furiously throwing away the cigarette that had already started to burn his fingers, he nodded. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it, and after taking a deep drag, he turned around and asked one of his companions to go and fetch Lin Hong.
Ten minutes later, Lin Hong appeared, her hands clasped together, head bowed, and her gait as stiff as that of Baldy Li's cripples. Lin Hongs appearance made the crowd roar with anticipation. Baldy Li turned around anxiously to face them and once again lifted and lowered his arms like von Karajan. The crowds roars gradually leveled off, and Baldy Li turned and saw that Lin Hong had arrived. He quickly waved to his fourteen loyal minions and, with his left hand covering his mouth, he pointed majestically at the sky with his right. The three idiots in the rear responded the fastest and immediately covered their mouths with their hands, after which the two deaf-mutes started clapping. Then the eight crippled, blind, and deaf men in the vanguard started shouting out in unison, "Lin Hong! Lin Hong! Lin Hong!"
The crowd also began to chant, "Lin Hong! Lin Hong! Lin Hong!"
The crippled, blind, and deaf men then shouted, "Please come and be the Good Works Factory's First Lady. Please come and be the Good Works Factory's First Lady…"
The crowd buzzed with confusion. But after the eight crippled, blind, and deaf men had recited the message four times, the crowd finally understood what they were saying and began to roar like the sea, stripping the message down to its essence and making it into a chant: "First Lady! First Lady! First Lady!"