Baldy Li was unhappy. Counting on his fingers, he said, "Just think of the five stratagems you suggested for me: beating around the bush, coming straight to the point, laying siege at the outskirts of the city, penetrating behind enemy lines, and beating to a pulp. Of those, not a single one was helpful. You have been completely useless as my military advisor. Therefore, it is now up to me to come up with a new diabolical plot."
Having said this, Baldy Li lifted his thumb and pointed out the door. "Go, quick."
Song Gang still shook his head. Biting his lip, he said, "I really can't say what you want me to say."
"Fuck!" Baldy Li exclaimed. "Song Gang, we are brothers. Can't you help me this once? I swear that this will be the last time. I'll never again ask for your help."
As he was saying this Baldy Li pulled Song Gang from his seat and pushed him out the door. He stuffed the handkerchief into Song Gang's hand and himself picked up the apples. Then the brothers headed to Lin Hong's house. At this point it was dusk, and the street was bathed in a damp mist. Baldy Li walked happily in front with the apples in his hand, and Song Gang followed with the handkerchief and a heavy heart. The entire way, Baldy Li tirelessly gave Song Gang words of encouragement, offering him one blank check after another. He promised that after he and Lin Hong became a couple, the first thing he would do would be to help Song Gang find a girlfriend even prettier than Lin Hong. If such a woman couldn't be found in Liu, he would search the surrounding towns, and if she couldn't be found there, he would go to the city to look for her. If she couldn't be found in the city, he would search the entire province, and if she couldn't be found in the province, he would search the entire country. If she couldn't be found in China, he would search the entire world for her. Baldy Li laughed. "Perhaps I might end up finding you a blond, blue-eyed girlfriend. That way you could live in a Western house, eat Western food, sleep in a Western bed, hug a Western girl's waist, kiss a Western girl's lips, and give birth to a pair of mixed-race twins."
As Baldy Li was animatedly describing Song Gang's Western future, Song Gang walked with a bowed head along the thoroughly rustic street. He didn't hear a word of what Baldy Li was saying but simply followed mechanically behind him. When Baldy Li paused to chat with other passersby, Song Gang would also pause and stare confusedly at the setting sun. When Baldy Li set off again, Song Gang would again lower his head and follow him. When the people of Liu saw Baldy Li carrying the apples, they asked, "Are you going to visit a friend or a relative?"
"Why does it have to be either a friend or a relative?" Baldy Li retorted happily.
When they arrived at the entrance to Lin Hong's house, Baldy Li came to a halt and patted Song Gang's shoulder. "It's up to you! I'll wait here for news of your success."
Then Baldy Li added affectionately, in what amounted to his trump card, "Remember, we are brothers."
Song Gang watched Baldy Li's flushed face in the evening light, shook his head and laughed bitterly, then turned and walked into Lin Hong's home. When Song Gang abruptly showed up, Lin Hong's parents were in the middle of dinner. They were somewhat surprised to see him and obviously knew what had happened the previous evening. Song Gang felt that he should make a bit of conversation, but his mind was a complete blank. He merely stood there without saying anything, unable to step through the doorway, until finally Lin Hong's mother stood up and called out to him,"Come on in."
Song Gang finally stepped through the doorway, but after he walked to the center of the room, he didn't know what he should do next. Lin Hong's mother smiled as she opened the door to Lin Hong's bedroom, quietly telling Song Gang, "She might already be asleep."
Song Gang nodded expressionlessly and then walked into the bedroom, which was bathed in evening light. He saw Lin Hong asleep on the bed as peaceful as a kitten. He walked forward uncertainly a couple of steps, until he was standing in front of her bed. The covers had fallen off, revealing the tender outline of her body, and her hair covering her pretty face. Song Gang felt the blood rush to his head and his pulse start racing. Sensing someone moving in front of her bed, Lin Hong half opened her eyes and smiled in pleasant surprise when she realized it was Song Gang. She closed her eyes again and grinned for a while, then opened them and extended her hand to him.
At this point Song Gang finally remembered what he was supposed to say to her. He took a deep breath and stuttered, "This time you should give up all hope."
Lin Hong shuddered as if she had been shot and stared at Song Gang with wide eyes. At that instant he saw the terror in her eyes, after which she closed them painfully, with tears running down her cheeks. His entire body shuddering, Song Gang placed the handkerchief on her covers, then rushed out of her room as if he were fleeing for his life. When he reached the door to the house, he seemed to hear Lin Hongs parents saying something, but after a moments hesitation he rushed out.
When Baldy Li saw Song Gang rush out as if he had seen a ghost, he delightedly asked him, "Did you succeed?"
Song Gang unhappily nodded his head, tears streaming down his face, then hurried away, determined never to look back. Baldy Li watched him leave and muttered, "What's he crying about?"
Then Baldy Li sauntered into Lin Hongs house, stroking his bald head as if he were combing his hair, and weighing the apples in his hand.
While Lin Hongs parents were trying to figure out what had just happened, Baldy Li sauntered in and greeted them as Auntie and Uncle, then continued on into Lin Hongs room. He turned around and closed her door, and as he did so he winked mysteriously at her parents. Both parents scratched their heads and stood there staring at each other.
Baldy Li smiled as he walked toward Lin Hongs bed and said, "Lin Hong, I heard that you were sick, so I bought you some apples."
Lin Hong, who had not yet recovered from the preceding shock, stared at Baldy Li with a look of utter incomprehension. He was secretly pleased that she was not kicking him out, and so he sat down on her bed and took the apples one after another, placing them next to her pillow, and bragged, "These are the reddest and biggest apples Liu Town has ever seen. I went to three separate fruit stalls to find them."
Lin Hong was still staring speechlessly at Baldy Li, and Baldy Li felt as though he were on the verge of success. He tenderly grasped her right hand, caressing it and lifting it to his face. At this point she finally came to her senses, immediately pulled back her hand, and let out a bloodcurdling scream.
Lin Hongs parents heard the scream and rushed into her room. There they saw Lin Hong, huddled in the corner of the bed, pointing at Baldy Li and shouting, "Out! Get out of here!"
Without even having a chance to explain himself, Baldy Li again fled from Lin Hongs house. This time her parents didn't use broomsticks and feather dusters to kick him out but, rather, their own hands and fists. In front of all the assembled onlookers, they cursed Baldy Li again and again, using not only the "ugly toad" and "cow dung" curses from before but also adding "hooligan," "bum," and "bastard" to the mix.
Amid their curses, Lin Hongs parents finally remembered their daughter and rushed back into the house to see her. Baldy Li stood there resentfully; his own belly was full of curses, but at that moment he couldn't think of a single one. The onlookers laughed as they watched him, and one after another they asked him what had happened.
"Nothing." Baldy Li shook his head as though nothing were wrong, and said simply, "It is merely a lovers’ quarrel."
With this, Baldy Li prepared to turn around and was about to leave when Lin Hong's parents reemerged, carrying the apples. They called out to him and hurled the apples like hand grenades at his head. Baldy Li ducked and dodged, and after Lin Hong's parents had finished throwing the apples and headed back inside, he turned to the onlookers and innocently shook his head. He squatted down and picked up all the apples, saying, "These are my apples."