Baldy Li walked home with his smashed apples. The townspeople watched him rub one against his shirt, lift it to his mouth, and take a bite, mumbling, "This tastes good." While he was walking away chewing his apple, the onlookers heard him recite a verse of Chairman Mao's poetry: "This is the start of a Long March, a Long March…"
CHAPTER 34
AFTER SONG GANG left Lin Hongs home that evening, tears streaming down his face, he wandered the streets of Liu, heartbroken and hopeless. Lin Hongs terrified gaze repeatedly appeared before him, again making him feel as though a dagger had been driven through his heart. Every time he crossed a bridge, he wanted to throw himself into the river below; and whenever he passed an electrical pole, he wanted to hurl himself into it headfirst. Someone passed by pushing a cart containing two folded wicker baskets and a pile of rope. Song Gang immediately grabbed the rope and scurried away. The person put down his cart and chased Song Gang down, grabbing him and asking, "Hey, what're you doing?"
Song Gang froze and stared fiercely. "Committing suicide, can't you see?"
The cart pusher did a double take. Song Gang tied the rope around his neck and yanked it upward with his hand, sticking out his tongue for good measure. He laughed fiercely and said, "I'm hanging myself, can't you see?"
The cart pusher did another double take and stared, speechless, as Song Gang walked away. He then cursed as he returned to his cart, complaining that he was fucking unfortunate — that it wasn't even nightfall yet and already he'd had to deal with a nut job. Not only had the nut job startled him twice, but furthermore he had stolen his rope. He cursed incessantly as he pushed his cart, and after walking the length of the longest street in Liu, he arrived at the front door of Lin Hong's house. Baldy Li had just finished picking up his apples and was eating one of them as he walked over. The cart pusher cried out aggrievedly to Baldy Li, "I've had such fucking bad luck, running into a nut job…."
"You're the fucking nut job," Baldy Li answered scornfully and walked off.
After Song Gang tied the rope around his neck, he simply left it on, as if it were a scarf made of twine. He walked briskly, looking as though he were rushing to his death. The rustling of his clothes and his rapid pace made him feel as though he were walking on air. It seemed to him that he covered the length of the street in a flash, and in no time he turned into the alleyway and arrived at his own doorstep.
Song Gang took out his key and opened the front door, and after entering the dark room it was a while before it occurred to him to turn on the lights. He then looked up and inspected the ceiling beams, telling himself that these would do just fine. He placed a bench under one of the beams and stood on it. Only then did he notice that he no longer had the rope in his hand. He looked around suspiciously, not remembering where he had left the rope and thinking that maybe he had left it in the road. He jumped down from the bench and headed toward the door. When a burst of wind blew in his face, he heard a rustling sound. He then laughed as he realized that the rope was tied around his neck.
Song Gang stood again on the bench, removed the rope from his neck, carefully tied it around the beam, and then made a noose. He yanked it firmly, placed his head into the noose, and tightened it. He then exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. A gust of wind reminded him that he had left the door ajar. He opened his eyes and saw that the door was swinging open and shut. Therefore, he removed his head from the noose, jumped off the bench, and went to close the door. Then he once again stood on the bench and placed his head in the noose. Closing his eyes, he inhaled one last time, exhaled, then kicked the bench out from under himself. He immediately felt as though his body had been stretched out and his breathing cut off. It was at this point that he got the vague impression that Baldy Li had returned.
When Baldy Li pushed the door open and walked in, he immediately saw Song Gangs body flailing about in midair. He cried out in horror and rushed forward to grab Song Gangs legs, struggling to support his body. Quickly realizing that this wasn't working, he started rushing around the room like a caged beast. When he saw a vegetable knife, he suddenly had an idea. He picked up the knife, righted the bench, stood on it, and proceeded to jump, using the knife to slice through the rope. When Song Gangs body dropped, Baldy Li also fell to the ground. He turned over and knelt there, hugging Song Gangs shoulders and rocking back and forth. He wept as he cried out, "Song Gang, Song Gang …"
Baldy Li bawled, tears and snot running down his face. At that point, Song Gangs body moved, and he started to cough. When Baldy Li realized that Song Gang was still alive, he wiped his tears and snot and started to laugh, then started crying again. Sobbing, he exclaimed, "Song Gang, what did you think you were doing?"
Song Gang coughed as he leaned against the wall to sit up. He stared blankly at Baldy Li and heard him repeatedly calling his name. Song Gang opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He opened his mouth again, and this time said softly, "I no longer want to live."
Baldy Li reached out his hand to stroke the red welt on Song Gangs neck, and through his tears he cursed his brother, "If you had fucking died, what the fuck would I have done? You are my only fucking relative, and if you had fucking died, I would have become a fucking orphan."
Song Gang pushed Baldy Li's hand away and, shaking his head, said, "I like Lin Hong, even more than you do. You not only don't want me to be with her but furthermore keep demanding that I hurt her."
Baldy Li wiped his tears and said angrily, "Is it really worth it to kill yourself over a woman?"
Song Gang rushed at Baldy Li, saying, "If it were you, what would you do?"
"If it were me," Baldy Li shouted back, "I would slaughter you!"
Song Gang looked at Baldy Li in surprise and, pointing at himself, said, "But I'm your brother!"
"Even as a brother, I would still slaughter you," Baldy Li immediately retorted.
Song Gang stared in astonishment and eventually began to laugh. He looked carefully at Baldy Li, this brother of his, with whom he shared everything. Baldy Li's comment gave Song Gang instant release, and he felt that now he had complete freedom to devote himself to Lin Hong. Song Gang laughed out loud and told Baldy Li sincerely, "That was truly well said."
Song Gang, who just moments earlier had been crying "I don't want to live," now started laughing happily. Baldy Li was deeply disconcerted by this and watched Song Gang leap up as if he were competing in the high jump and proceed quickly to the door. Not knowing what Song Gang was planning, Baldy Li struggled up and cried out, "What are you going to do?"
Song Gang turned around and said calmly, "I'm going to go see Lin Hong. I want to tell her that I like her."
"You can't do that!" Baldy Li cried. "You can't fucking do that. Lin Hong is mine."
"No." Song Gang shook his head firmly. "Lin Hong doesn't like you. She likes me."
Baldy Li at this point once again drew on his trump card, exclaiming passionately "Song Gang, we are brothers."
Song Gang replied happily, "Brothers can also slaughter."
As Song Gang was saying this he stepped out the door and walked away. In his fury Baldy Li punched a wall but then immediately grimaced in pain. As he rubbed and blew on his injured hand, his howls of fury turned into yelps of pain. After his pain had subsided, he looked out into the empty night and shouted to Song Gang, who was already out of sight, "Get out of here! You fucking value women over friends, and even over your own brother."