That night Baldy Li also got drunk. He sat at home alone drinking baijiu, altogether drinking an entire jin of it. This was the first time he had ever gotten drunk, and afterward he cried himself to sleep. When he woke up the next morning, he was still whimpering. The neighbors heard him crying over his lost love and remarked that Baldy Li's crying ran the gamut of emotions: At different times he meowed like a cat in heat, screeched like a pig being slaughtered, lowed like a cow grazing grass, or crowed like a rooster greeting the dawn. The neighbors were very annoyed, saying that he made such a ruckus that they barely slept all night; even if they did manage to fall asleep, they had continuous nightmares.
After bawling for an entire night, the next day Baldy Li went to the hospital to have a vasectomy or, more specifically, a vasoligation. First he went to the Good Works Factory to obtain a certificate from his work unit. In this case, Baldy Li was not only the person requesting the operation but also the work unit supervisor in charge of approving the request. Therefore, he approved his own request and quite properly affixed a seal to the certificate. With this in hand, Baldy Li walked into the hospital clinics surgical unit with a martyred air, slapped the certificate onto the doctors desk, and announced loudly, "I have come to heed the call of Chinas birth control policy."
The doctor, of course, recognized that the person walking up to him demanding a vasectomy was the famous Baldy Li. He watched as Baldy Li stabbed at his abdomen with his hands as if they were knives, and wondered how there could be a man like this. He then looked at Baldy Li's work unit certificate and, noticing that Baldy Li was both the applicant and the supervisor approving the application wondered how there could be a certificate like this. He couldn't help but laugh, saying, "You've never been married and don't have any children. Why do you want a vasectomy?"
Baldy Li said heroically, "If I get a vasectomy without even having been married, won't that fulfill the population control policy that much better?"
The doctor wondered how in the world there could be a logic like this. He lowered his head and started laughing. Baldy Li impatiently pulled him up from his seat, as if he were the one planning on giving the doctor a vasectomy. He then wrestled the doctor into the operating room, where he unfastened his own belt, pulled down his pants, unbuttoned his shirt, lay down on the operating table, and ordered, "Ligate me!"
The operation was finished in less than an hour, after which an exuberant Baldy Li walked out the front door of the hospital. In his left hand he carried the medical certificate, and with his right hand he cupped his stitched-up groin. He stopped to rest every few steps until he arrived at Lin Hong and Song Gang's nuptial home.
Lin Hong's twenty workmates from the knitting factory had come to attend the traditional celebration of the matrimonial quarters. Writer Liu had also come and was sitting there happily with the twenty female factory workers, a blissful expression on his face. The girls hung a string from the ceiling and tied an apple to it, then urged the newlyweds to try to bite it at the same time. When Baldy Li walked in, the girls cried in alarm, since they all knew the history of his relationship with Lin Hong and Song Gang — a relationship that was somewhat of a love triangle, yet not quite, and that no one could figure out. Everyone assumed that Baldy Li had come to pick a fight. Lin Hong also tensed up when she saw him marching in with dead-set eyes, certain that he was up to no good. Song Gang was the only one who didn't notice anything wrong; simply overjoyed to see that his brother had come, Song Gang greeted him with a cigarette and said happily "Baldy Li, you finally made it."
Baldy Li shoved Song Gangs hand aside and said, "I don't smoke."
The girls all fell silent, petrified with fear. Baldy Li calmly handed Lin Hong the vasectomy certificate. Lin Hong, not knowing what this was, made no move to accept it but, rather, looked over at her new husband. Song Gang reached for it, but Baldy Li pushed his hand away, instead handing the certificate to one of the girls and asking her to pass it to Lin Hong. Lin Hong took this medical record but didn't understand its significance. Baldy Li instructed, "Open it and look inside. What does it say?"
Lin Hong opened it and saw the word vasoligation. She still didn't understand and whispered to one of the girls standing next to her, "What does vasoligation mean?"
While several girls were crowding forward to look at the case history, Baldy Li said to Lin Hong, "What does vasoligation mean? It means castration. I just went to the hospital to have myself castrated."
The girls cried out in surprise, and Lin Hong went pale. During that period it was common in Liu to have newly purchased roosters caponized, then cook and eat them once they were full grown. That way, they would be especially tender, and wouldn't have that distinctive rooster taste. People usually called these caponized roosters fresh roosters. Upon hearing that Baldy Li had gone to the hospital to have himself castrated, one of the girls asked in surprise, "Are you now a fresh man?"
At this point Writer Liu decided to make his presence known. He slowly stood up and took the medical record from Lin Hong. He read over it and with a scholarly tone corrected the girl, saying, "No, castration and vasoligation are two entirely different things. After castration you become a eunuch, while after vasoligation you can still …"
Writer Liu glanced at the girls in the room and didn't finish his sentence. The girl persisted: "Can still what?"
Baldy Li impatiently specified, "Can still sleep with you."
The girl blushed with fury and replied through gritted teeth, "No one would want to sleep with you."
Writer Liu nodded in agreement with Baldy Li and added, "It just means that he can't have children."
Baldy Li nodded enthusiastically at Writer Liu's clarification. He took back his medical record and said to Lin Hong, "Given that I can't have children with you, I won't have any with anyone." Having said this, the unswervingly faithful Baldy Li turned and walked out of Lin Hong's new home. Once outside he paused, then turned to her and said, "Remember: Baldy Li will always get right back up from where he fell."
Then he spun around like a Spanish toreador and left. For the first seven steps he heard no sound from the newlywed house. As he took his eighth step, however, the entire house behind him burst into laughter. He hesitated a second, then shook his head in disappointment. Song Gang came running after Baldy Li, who was by now limping away. He grabbed Baldy Li by the arm and said, as if wanting to say a whole lot more, "Baldy Li …"