I quickly put Kane on the bed, then climbed up next to him. Pulling him onto my lap, I put his bottle against his lips. His hands latched onto the bottle as he drank. The relief I felt that he was no longer crying made me sniffle, but I used my free hand to wipe my face. I watched as Alec broke off a yogurt tub, opened it, and used his finger to eat it because I forgot to bring a spoon. He ate two tubs before he sat back and watched Kane drink his bottle with sleepy eyes.
“Kane’s sad.”
“He was just hungry and needed his diaper changed. He’s okay.”
I hoped, anyway.
Alec frowned. “You are sad.”
His eyes were on my cheeks where I knew some tears still dampened my skin.
“I’m okay.” I smiled big just to prove it.
Alec blinked. “I’m scared. I want Mama.”
I swallowed. “When you wake up, Mama will be here, okay?”
He nodded and said nothing further. I looked from him, to Kane, then around the room. I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that they were in here alone, so I looked back at Alec and said, “Grab the rest of the yogurts and come with me. We’re sleeping in my room tonight.”
Usually, I had to say things a few times for Alec to understand what I meant because he was still only a baby, but right then he didn’t need to be told twice. I held Kane in my arms, ignoring that they burned from carrying him, and Alec had a death grip on my pyjamas pants as we walked out of his bedroom, down the dark hallway, and into my room. My brother ran and jumped up onto my bed, burrowing his way under the covers. I smiled as I closed my bedroom door and joined him with Kane. When he was finished with his bottle, I fed him some yogurts until he got that sleepy look in his eyes. I wiped his face with my sleeve, settled him under the covers between me and Alec, who was already asleep, and I stared at the both of them for a very long time.
I turned my head as looked at my bedroom door when I suddenly heard voices. The sounds were faint, but then they got loud as footsteps passed by my door. I knew the laughter belonged to my parents, and I waited for them to go to my brothers’ room to check on them, but when I heard their bedroom door open and close, a pain spread across my chest. They should have checked on my brothers, realised they weren’t there, then run to my room to see if they were with me ... but they didn’t.
I looked at my brothers as tears welled in my eyes once more. Our mama and daddy were very mean to me, and sometimes to my brothers, but they should still take care of us. They didn’t, though, so I was the one who had to look after my brothers tonight, and they didn’t even care enough to see if they were okay. They just laughed and went to bed like they didn’t care. I cared, though. I cared about my brothers more than anyone ... even more than I cared about my mama. They were babies, and they needed to be loved and protected, and if my parents wouldn’t do that for them, then I would.
“I’ll always take care of you guys,” I swore as my eyes roamed over my brothers’ sleeping faces. “I promise.”
CHAPTER THREE
Eighteen years old ...
I jolted awake upon hearing and uproarious thump on my bedroom door. Damien, my eight-year-old brother, was undisturbed by the sound as he slept peacefully beside me. His mouth hung open as he snored and drool dripped down his chin. I lifted the blanket and checked to see if he had wet himself, and I felt a smile stretch across my face when I noticed he was dry. This was the fourth night in a row that he didn’t wet the bed, and as soon as he woke up, I was going to praise the hell out of him for it.
Unlike Dominic, Damien’s twin, he didn’t suffer nightmares that resulted in him having no control over his bladder, but that wasn’t Damien fault. Damien was very sensitive compared to Dominic and our other brothers. He scared easily, and when he was scared, he craved affection. I never minded him crawling into my bed during the night simply because I knew he just needed to be comforted. He never received comfort from my parents, not for his lack of trying, so he always came to me in the end. He never wanted to appear like a baby to his other brothers, so his bed-wetting was our secret.
I looked from my brother to the door when another loud knock sounded. I pushed the blanket away from my body, got out of bed, and walked over to the door, scratching my ass as I went. I opened the door, and when I saw my father standing on the other side, I blinked.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he replied. “I’ve got a job for you.”
“A job?” I repeated.
Dad nodded, but before he spoke, he looked over my shoulder and saw Damien in my bed. He narrowed his eyes at my brother then looked at me and said, “What’s he doing in your room?”
“He’s sick,” I lied. “He was throwing up during the night, so I brought him in here so I could keep an eye on him.”
If my dad knew that Damien wet the bed, he’d bash him until my brother screamed. He would view it as a weakness and would attempt to beat that weakness out of him. He’d do the same if he knew Damien slept in my bed with me for no other reason than he wanted to be close to me. He’d hurt him for that too.
“He probably has the flu.” Dad grimaced. “Some of the guys he annoys when they’re on patrol have it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “He probably does, but he’ll be fine once he gets some rest. Dominic snores so he can’t sleep in there; in here with me is quiet.”
Dad grunted. “Aren’t you a regular Mother-fucking-Theresa?”
I tensed. “He’s my brother, so it’s not a hardship for me to look after him.”
Dad snorted. “Get dressed and meet me in the courtyard in five minutes.”
With that said, he turned and walked down the hallway. He didn’t ask if Damien was okay nor did he check on him himself, which didn’t surprise me. There wasn’t a paternal bone in the man’s body. I closed the door, then went into my private bathroom and took a quick shower. When I was finished, I dried myself and dressed warm. It was winter and had been snowing for the past few days, so that meant I needed to put on layers. Damien woke up as I was tying the laces up my boots, sitting up in the bed and rubbing his eyes. I looked up at him and smiled; he was so cute. He was in need of a haircut, the long strands stuck up in all directions making him look crazy.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
Damien yawned. “Morning.”
He smacked his lips together a couple of time before his eyes widened, and he hurriedly reached down and patted his pants. When he looked up at me, a huge smile stretched across his lips. “I didn’t wet the bed.”
I whooped, sprung to my feet, then jumped on my brother who was laughing so hard that he stopped making sounds which amused me greatly.
“You’re doing great, buddy,” I said, ruffling his wild hair.
Damien rested back against my pillow with a smile. “Why are you dressed?”
I looked down at my clothes, then back to my brother, and said, “Dad has a job for me.”
Damien frowned. “What kind of job?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I have to meet him in the courtyard and find out.”
My brother yawned again. “I’ll go back to my room then. Dominic is probably still asleep, so I’ll play the PlayStation until he wakes up.”
I bumped fists with him. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
As we left the room, Damien said, “Thanks for letting me sleep with you again.”