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A: True.”

+++

Next the dialogue situation was swept away, without trace, and instead Arno dreamed these words and images:

“Truck Opel Blitz. Kar 98k. Stg, MP, MG 34.

Gott mit uns. Wenn die Soldaten. Ich bin ein freier Wildbretschütz, und hab ‘ein weit Revier…

Plus or minus in the B-line. Speak to the troops and then off into the night. Being Squad Leader, becoming Platoon Leader.

…could see it through the trees, tracers, muzzle flames – brought into action, open up, two belts gone – forward. Flares in the night. Engine noise, swaying antennas –

…boiling and steaming horizon – jabos flying across the sky, diving, firing rockets – tanks running idle, standing in a row. Having created a breakthrough, the Company to exploit a breakthrough, up on the back of the tanks and off under a smooth, radiant sky, jet noise in the distance…

…having been separated from the Company, losing contact – venturing home for three miles as an individual platoon marching through no-man’s land – where was the Company, where was the Battalion? Battle Group, Division, Army Corps…?

Timeless existence, alienation and disorientation – five-metre wide road, permanent, gravel and tarmac – MG providing supportive fire, throwing out the empty cases underneath. Orders, characters, commands, signals, symbols, marks…

Indeed – signals and dots, orders and counter-orders. Like, to go out and scout one morning, concealed by a copse and sneaking up to the edge of the forest, go over A to B and on to C and then back again – operating in a peaceful state, seeking rest in action, perpetual action, eternal peace, eternal motion, movement as a state of mind.

Movement as a state: approaching a target at the forefront of an armoured column, you see the goal ahead and give the coordinates to the airplanes circulating above, the planes get into formation and approach the target, peppering it with machine guns and rockets – and then the armour goes in to finish it off, and finally the Panzer Followers dismount to mop the place up, sweeping it clean, fighting down remaining resistance. And then mounting up and on to the next target.

Listening posts, trenches, armour-infantry interaction, tanks and assault guns, panzer grave, Panzer Marsch, massive armoured assault southwest of M, Reconnaissance Company of 7th Panzer Grenadier Regiment.

• six grenadiers and two MG teams

• supported by assault guns, anti-tank pieces and armour

• clearing the way for the armour

• towards the armour grave

• all officers and noncommissioned officers dead or wounded

• a bag of hand grenades and 9 mm submachine gun ammo.

Since the company was leaderless the battalion commander ordered him to take command of the remnants of the company

Abandoned Russian MGs, a new line of defence, a wounded company commander, isolated Russian panzer followers – support from our own artillery, rocket launchers grouped at the First Battalion, green flare shot.”

+++

As the narrator of this story you could admit that this was rather puzzling, Arno dreaming disjointed military terms. However, he dreamed still more in that style. He dreamed:

“Bursting clouds

Explosive gases

Field works

Assault rifle

Vascular

Abdominal

Bile-green, blood-red, brain-grey

So did we love you that, if you were dead, our love would bring you to life. Denker Du im Wort und Rat, Lenker der erwognen Tat, Du im Frieden und Im Feld, Vaterlandes Sohn und Held –

Pocket flaps

Buttonhole

Culmination Point

Column Formation Point

Assault gun

Artillery observer

Ammo belt

Empty brass case

Go ahead, take terrain, fire on emerging targets. Equalise the ammunition supply, take the Readiness Area, protect the flank. Scouting, patrolling, reconnoitering. Protection against aircraft, against gas.

Bomb Line

Battalion border

Distance, spacing

Cover

Shrapnel

Illumination round

Retreat from Kharkov, attacking Kharkov – retreat from Ukraine, enclosed in the Hube Pocket – breaking out from the Hube Pocket. Clearing up in Tarnopol – defending Belarus, retreating through Belarus – beating down the Warsaw Uprising – relieving Budapest, being halted, turning back, retreating, giving up all further attempts at attacking and advancing – defending Berlin, sailing off over a lake, fighting the in Hunsrücker Taunus, meeting superior forces, surrendering, imprisoned – going back to Sweden, imprisoned, released, becoming NCO, becoming private investigator, watching the sun rise, hearing a murmur in the distance, aircraft noise, the rumbling sound from starting jets, starting fighters you can’t see…”

42

Burning Magnesium

The last phase of the dream began by Arno walking through a dark, dense coniferous forest. Soon he found himself standing on a dirt road in soldier’s attire. The moon stood above the mountains of a valley. Beside him Arno had a Panzer IV with Schürzen additional armour. In the turret cupola was perched a panzer platoon leader, clad in a black beret and with a radio headset around his neck. Together, he and Arno discussed some important, operational thing, exchanging words in the secret code of army soldiers, the sacred brotherhood.

It was night, a magical night. The moon stood silvery in the sky. This was the scene that surrounded Arno and the Panzer IV. This moonlit valley could be seen by Arno and the tank commander. This was the mental landscape they were in.

And then everything disappeared, like being washed away by a wave, and now the impressions came helter-skelter in the form of sail cloth, cleaning brush, khaki drill and burning magnesium from a parachute in the sky – on and on, on through the night, heading for the Beyond the Beyond, the Within the Within, and one in all and all in one.

I AM

I AM

I AM

A Königstiger storming along the street, crushing everything in its path – and the climax is reached in a square – and in the square a confused soldier wanders around and talks about ammo belts for 7.92 cartridges, hollow-eyed façades gazing down at him.

I AM

I AM

I AM

9x19, 7.92, 88, 105. The sun shines on a sandstone façade, columns, corniche, cultural layers – overlays, golden letters in the sunset…

I AM

I AM

I AM

The ontology summarised in two words, egoism obliterated by the most egocentric of statements: I Am.

I AM

I AM

I AM

Thus did we love you that, should you die, our love would awake you – my father was a young soldier, the fairest man around – let up your graves, no, give us men in research, colours and writings –

I AM

I AM

I AM

I AM

I AM

Kübelwagen, Opel Blitz, Schwimmwagen, Panzer III, Hanomag Henschel – Messerschmitt 110 in black camouflage and the intriguing radar antenna in the nose –

I AM

I AM

I AM

Shoulder patch, spare barrel, rucksack, field cap, forage cap –

I AM

I AM

I AM

I AM

I AM

I AM

I AM

Black on green, grey on grey, brown on grey, black on grey –

I AM

I AM

I AM

9 mm Walther Heerespistole – 88 mm Fliegenabwehrkanone – 9 mm Maschinenpistole – 7.92 mm Maschinengewehr –

I AM

I AM

I AM

Reconnoitre toward A over B – under the viaduct, past the barracks, away to the bus stop, over the football field – along the river, the lake, the train yard and back. Await further orders –