“There’s an old adage,” Ellis had told him, “that says, God helps those who help themselves. This is true. We can seek answers and change through prayer but only action will bring us closer to God and toward His empowering ways. If we want to be free of worry and know the glory of God, we need to not fear what needs to be done; we need to embrace each other on the journey toward salvation.”
Ellis told him that if he ever needed anything, anything, Brendan could call them or stop by. He gave Brendan the business card. Brendan nodded and then Ellis told him what to tell his father when he asked where Brendan had been for three hours. Dwayne then drove him home, stopping a little ways before the guarded entrance to SkyView Estates. Dwayne asked for the business card back, flipped it over, and scribbled something. He handed it back and said, “That’s my cell. Don’t bother calling the Temple; they’ll give you the stock rigamarole. You need something, call me.”
“Thanks.”
“You know why I’m giving you that number?”
Brendan shrugged. “You’re nice?”
Dwayne laughed. “That’s rich. You oughta tell my ex that. No, I’m giving it to you because I understand you, better even than Ellis understands you.”
“What do you mean?”
After a long pause, Dwayne said, “Don’t think too much about what you did. There’s no point in drowning in mistakes. But you need to accept that you did what you did because you thought it was the right thing. That should help it sit right in your conscience.”
Now, only a day later, Brendan turned the card over and stared at Dwayne’s cell phone number. Beneath it, he had scribbled, You’re special.
That phrase should have unnerved him coming from a stranger. It was something molesters said before they turned off the lights and whispered, “Shhh.” It was what a kidnapper said before he peeled off a strip of duct tape. Brendan didn’t feel that way about Dwayne because he wasn’t a stranger anymore. Brendan had shared with him and Ellis what he did to Delaney. He confessed and these men did not judge him. They embraced him. Dad would never react that way. How could he? Or Tyler? If they knew, they would see Brendan as a beast or a deranged madman. They might even turn him over to the police or the psychiatric wing of some hospital.
He trusted Dwyane and Ellis. If he needed help, they would be there for him. Well, he needed help now. Brendan picked up the phone. All he wanted was for his family to be safe and happy. How had such a simple, pure wish degenerated into a mangled mess? How could such pure wishes bring about such destruction? What was the point? Why did God let it happen?
God helps those who help themselves.
He dialed Dwayne’s number and waited.
* * *
Brendan told Dwayne everything Tyler had said. Dwayne asked one question and Brendan’s inability to answer it is what led him back to Tyler’s room a few minutes before midnight. Light shone from beneath the door. Brendan knocked.
Tyler opened the door. He wore black jeans and a black sweatshirt. He was only missing a ski mask if he wanted to commit robbery. Maybe he really was inspired by the Darkman.
“What are you doing up?” Tyler asked.
“I have an idea.”
“Go to bed.”
“Please, Tyler. Let me in.”
Tyler glanced down the hall like it might be suspicious if anyone saw Brendan enter Tyler’s room. He stepped aside and Brendan entered. Tyler shut the door, walked to the window. His hands flexed open and closed repeatedly. He parted the blinds and peered outside. “What’s your idea?”
“I know you don’t want me help, but … I think you should at least listen to me.”
Tyler checked his watch. “I’m listening.”
“Are you waiting for someone?”
The blinds snapped into place and Tyler spun around. His eyes darted from Brendan to the door and back again. “I told you too much. I’m sorry for that. I never should have. Your twelve, for God’s sake, you don’t even know the cock-trapping ways of women. You will one day. Be aware. Be really fucking aware.”
Brendan took a step backwards. He couldn’t help it. Tyler hadn’t been angry earlier when he explained what happened, but now rage pulsed in his wide eyes and throbbed in his clenched jaw.
I told you about those people, the religious guys.”
“Nut jobs.”
“The one guy, Dwayne, thinks he can help.”
“Totally fucking absurd,” he mumbled. “Ridiculous.”
“Are you okay?”
Tyler blinked and seemed to see Brendan for the first time. “What’s the idea?”
“These guys know how to help people. They know how to solve problems.”
“The cure for my problem is not something you want to know.”
Brendan swallowed. Something else had happened since their first discussion. Tyler had called the girl, tried to solve the problem and it had backfired. There was no time to dillydally, as his teacher last year used to say. “Who is she?”
“What?”
“The girl, the one says you raped her.”
“Fucking slut.”
“What’s her name?”
He checked his watch again. “Goddamn bitch.”
“She lives in Trailer Trash Town, right?”
He stopped, glared at Brendan. “You need to go to bed. Now.”
Brendan started to back up out of the room. Tyler approached him quickly like a predator leaping at its prey. His arms grabbed Brendan’s shoulders. “Go to bed and don’t say anything to Dad. You got that? Not one fucking word.”
Fear blanked out Brendan’s mind and he thought he was going to pass out or have a heart attack or something. What had gotten into him? Tyler shook him and somehow Brendan managed to shake his head up and down. Then he was shoved out into the hall and Tyler’s door shut in his face.
Brendan stood between two doors. Behind one was his suddenly crazed brother; behind the other was his comatose mother and his aunt. Dad had vanished after the funeral and when he came back he was different, crazy. He had gone into his bedroom and a huge fight erupted with Mom. Things were thrown. Aunt Steph said it was going to be okay, but she kept crying and staring at the tissue in her hand. Dad left eventually, vanished somewhere in Mom’s car. That was a few hours ago. The family was falling apart. Soon there’d be nothing left.
* * *
When the headlights of Paul’s car splashed across the front of the house, Brendan narrowed the gap between the blinds through which he was peering. He could barely make out Tyler’s figure as he bounded down the front steps and slid across the front lawn. Brendan couldn’t see his face—maybe Tyler had put on a ski mask. A few moments after Paul arrived, he was gone again with Tyler aboard.
Brendan wasted no time returning to Tyler’s room. He quietly shut the door behind him and tiptoed across the room, though he was sure Mom was asleep for the night and Aunt Steph probably was, too.
Tyler had taken his cellphone with him, of course, but Tyler’s laptop lay on his bed. He hadn’t shut it down or put it to sleep for the night. He’d been too distracted bashing women to concern himself with the proper care of his computer, not that he was especially good with it on normal days.