She nodded. “For me, it helped me clear my mind as well as kept me busy. I reckon I was over him the moment I passed the finish line of my first race.”
“Yours was a bad breakup?” I asked.
“At the time, I remember it being so. I was so sad, so angry. I wanted to kill him. Now, I look back and it’s difficult to recall why. I mean, he was an arsehole at times, but I blamed him for things I had no right to. I learned a huge lesson that we alone are responsible for our happiness. No one else can create that for us if we’re not ready for it.”
“But being with him didn’t make you happy?”
“Exactly. So I should have left. Not stayed and blamed him.”
I took a moment to absorb what she was saying. Was I looking for someone to make me happy? Was I afraid of being on my own? Maybe Ashleigh thought so, but that wasn’t it for me. I thought if anything the reason Emma and I had split was because I didn’t want to be responsible for her happiness, and I knew she couldn’t be responsible for mine. With Ashleigh, it was different. I wanted to make her happy.
“And you’re with someone now?” She’d never mentioned a boyfriend. What type of guy was she into?
A blush spread across her cheeks. “Not yet. But I’ve not lost hope that I’ll find the right one.” She focused on her coffee cup, swirling her spoon in what was left of the black Americano she’d ordered.
“Great job, Luke. A tremendous result for the client and the firm.” Derek Mills, our senior partner, rarely stepped off the fifth floor. He certainly hadn’t known my name until the Nigelson case. Although no one had said it to me directly, whether or not I made partner depended on this case. And today it had settled. Settled good and settled big.
“Thanks, Derek. We got the right result,” I replied.
“Don’t be modest. You got the right result.” I grinned and took Derek’s hand. “The Daniels surname will fit nicely on the letterhead,” he said, and with that, he winked and walked away. Perhaps that’s what they meant when they said that you “got the nod.” I’d have to wait for the official decision on partnership, but it was looking pretty good.
I focused on getting back to my desk without breaking into a sidesplitting grin. I dropped Haven an email telling her we’d settled. My hand hovered over my phone. I was desperate to call Ashleigh; I wanted to share my good news, all my news, my whole life with her. I just wished she was ready to see that. Perhaps I should take the situation into my own hands and force her to see that I wanted her?
“Congratulations, Luke!” Fiona walked up to my desk. “It was that environmental report that swung it, though, wasn’t it?”
I grinned at her. “Yup, you totally nailed it.”
She clasped her hands together. “Thank fuck that’s over.”
I tipped my head back and laughed. “Shall we knock off early and go and get some beers in?”
“I’m not sure that’s on your training plan. But yes, I’m up for that.” She winked and turned to leave. Over her shoulder, she said, “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.”
“Champagne?” Fiona asked as she leaned over the bar, trying to get the attention of the barman.
I would have preferred beer, but champagne was sort of mandatory in this situation.
“You are totally going to get partnership now.” She grinned at me. I was relieved that there wasn’t a hint of jealousy or resentfulness about her. She really was a great girl.
“I can only hope.” I shrugged.
“You know you’re going to get it. Apparently the vote is next week. This settlement couldn’t have been timed more perfectly. You deserve it.”
I grinned and grabbed the champagne-filled ice bucket. Fiona took the glasses, and we made our way to a spot toward the front of the bar. Despite it being the middle of the afternoon, there were plenty of people filling the tables.
“We shouldn’t be drinking when everyone else is back at their desks. It feels naughty,” Fiona said in a half whisper.
My stomach churned. It did feel wrong in some ways, uncomfortable. The person I wanted to celebrate with was Ashleigh. I felt as though I should be with her, not Fiona. I needed to stop pining, to do what she said and live my life. “Day drinking always feels illicit, right?”
“I can’t stop for long. I have a thing tonight.” She tilted her head.
I raised my eyebrows in response. Did she have a date? Fiona, at least, was living her life.
“In fact, I shouldn’t be drinking. I’m babysitting. Well, my nephew’s twelve, so hardly a baby.”
“So no hot date for you, then?”
“Not tonight,” she replied.
I wondered why she was single. She was pretty, smart and had abs of steel. The kind of girl they called marriage material. Ashleigh had told me to date, right? “Would you like to go to dinner sometime?” It wasn’t what I’d been planning to say, but now that I had, I hoped she’d say yes.
She narrowed her eyes at me.
I’d not asked a woman out for years. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever asked Emma out. We just found ourselves in the same circle of friends a few times, and we kind of evolved from a drunken kiss. It felt like a lifetime ago. I’d been a kid. I’d thought for a few weeks that Fiona might like me, but her reaction to my invitation wasn’t overwhelming. “I mean, no big deal if you don’t want to. I just thought—”
“No. That sounds good. Like on a date?”
Was I about to make a giant twat of myself? I shrugged. “Yeah.”
Her cheeks flushed and she nodded. “Okay. Dinner.”
If only everything in my life could be as easy.
Ashleigh
“I’m sick of feeling so fucking miserable. I’ve totally lost my funny.” I took a seat at Beth’s kitchen counter and collapsed forward dramatically. Beth had asked for some help with a project, and I was happy to have the company.
“You’ve not lost your funny. You’re hilarious,” Beth responded.
“I used to be funny. I used to be able to make people laugh. Now, I’m a harbinger of doom. Wherever I go, I bring misery.”
“Now, you’re being funny, even if it is unintentional.”
I grinned. It was entirely intentional. I was ready to be me again. I’d had enough of moping around the house and avoiding Luke. Well, avoiding Luke had been made easy. He hadn’t been in touch. Not since the Sunday Haven and Jake had been in Chicago. That was over a month ago. I’d gone to Sunday night dinner the following weekend, but according to Haven, Luke was working. I’d not seen him since I’d run out on him.
“So you want to watch me get drunk?” I asked Beth.
“How can I resist an offer like that? But first can you help me with this?” Beth asked, gesturing behind me with the wooden spoon she was holding.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw a camera set up on a tripod facing our direction. What the what? I turned back to watch Beth pour honey into a mixing bowl. “Errr, excuse me, however much you’re offering? I’m not filming us naked with honey doing . . . God knows what.”
“Oh, I’m not going to pay you.”
“Well, I’m certainly not doing it for free.” I laughed. “What I mean to say is, not in front of a camera. And not with you. No offense, you’re gorgeous and you have a banging bod, but no. I like dick. I mean, I’ve never . . . not on camera, and not with honey—”