Tonya politely excused herself a moment or two later and moved to another table.
“Doesn’t it get on your nerves living on top of each other down here?” Emory said quietly.
“It took a little getting used to,” Erin said. “But you learn to block things out.”
“Are any of these kids yours?”
“No, Wayne and I… well, we never got around to it, and now…” She shrugged.
“Want mine?”
“Excuse me?”
“Do you want mine? Like I told you, I don’t want it. I was hoping I’d start to feel something for it but I haven’t, and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to.”
“It’s too soon for you to know how you’re going to feel,” Erin said, deciding quickly she’d better not let her maternal feelings loose.
“No, it’s not. I’ve been watching these mothers down here, trying to picture myself doing what they’re doing. It’s not me. I’m a soldier and sooner or later I’m going to have to fight again.”
“Well, we can talk about it later. There’s plenty of time to—”
“I’m going to talk about it with every woman down here. So if you want it, you might want to speak up pretty quick. Some of these girls seem to love being mothers.”
“Okay,” Erin said, casting caution to the wind. “But I want to know the very second you change your mind. The very second, Shannon.”
Emory looked up from her bowl of oatmeal with raisins. “I won’t change my mind. So congratulations, you’re a mom.”
Erin sat looking at her. “Excuse me for a minute?” she said at length.
“Sure.”
Erin went to find her husband, locating him in silo number two where he was taking inventory.
“What’s wrong?” Ulrich asked, never having seen such an odd look in her eyes.
She covered her face with both hands, looking at him over the tips of her fingers.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“Shannon just gave us her baby,” she blurted, scared to death that he was going be angry with her for not consulting with him. “I’m sorry, honey, but she was going to ask the others and I—”
“Come here,” he said, setting the clipboard aside and putting his arms out for her to walk into them.
“You’re not pissed?”
“No,” he said, stroking her. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m a little overwhelmed, Wayne. I didn’t even give it any thought. I was so afraid she’d give it to one of the others if I waited.”
“Are you sorry you accepted?”
“No, I’m ecstatic, but I’m scared. I even feel guilty, almost like I’m stealing her baby. I don’t know how to explain it. She asked me point-blank, honey. She said she doesn’t feel anything for it and doesn’t want it.”
“Then you’ve done something good. You’ve got nothing to feel bad about.”
Later, Ulrich found Forrest in the cargo bay talking with Danzig and Vasquez about their rat breeding project. “Can we have a minute, gentlemen?”
Danzig and Vasquez were quick to quit the cargo bay, plainly seeing that Ulrich had a very definite something on his mind.
Forrest started to grin.
“Apparently you’ve already heard?”
Forrest shook his head. “But I know that look.”
“Well, thanks to you, asshole, Erin’s adopting a goddamn baby.”
Forrest burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny!”
“The hell it’s not! Serves you right, you prick. You goddamn near killed Melissa.”
“Oh, I knew sooner or later I’d have to hear about that!” Ulrich rejoined.
“Bullshit, Wayne. The only reason I’m saying anything now is because you’re in here giving me shit about Erin wanting Shannon’s baby.”
“My vote on that fucked-up mission was the right vote! You got lucky, Jack!”
“You’re goddamn right I did! And because of it she’s alive! You think I’m gonna apologize for that? Fuck you, Stumpy. Erin deserves a baby. You’re the selfish motherfucker who told her no all those years. You think I was itching to have a kid before Daniel was born? Fuck, no. But at least I tried to give Monica what she wanted.”
“Oh, so now I’m a selfish husband.”
“You’re a selfish prick, Wayne! You always have been. It’s why I’m the only friend you’ve got.”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you,” Forrest said. “I wouldn’t have you any other way myself, but Erin deserves a little bundle of joy for the time she’s put in.”
“Shit,” Ulrich said, turning away. He walked over and took a long look at the burn marks on the hood of the Humvee. “You two fuckers had the time of your lives out there, didn’t you?”
“Jealous?”
Ulrich turned back around. “A little.”
“Well, now your mission is to make sure Shannon eats right.”
“That girl doesn’t know who she’s gotten herself involved with,” Ulrich said. “Erin’s going to be the bane of her existence for the next six months.”
By that night Melissa was sitting up in bed and drinking chicken broth through a straw. Dr. West had also given in to her pleading and allowed Laddie to lay in bed with her. Forrest came in to sit with her so Michael could take a break.
“Where have you been all day?” she asked him as he sat down on the edge of the bed and started petting his dog.
“Well, I’ve been doing my thing, you know. Checking on everybody and seeing to our new members. Cleaning up dog crap. All the usual stuff.”
She chuckled. “Wayne cleans up all the dog crap.”
“To hear him tell it, yeah.”
“What are you guys doing in the cargo bay?”
“Nothing, why?”
“Whatever,” she said. “You guys always lie to me and think I don’t know.”
“Okay, smarty pants. If I tell you, it stays between us. Nobody else. Not even Veronica. Agreed?”
She nodded, thrilled to be privy to something so secret that not even Veronica knew about it, thinking it had to do with Christmas, which everyone was looking forward to with great anticipation.
“We’re breeding rats.”
“Ew!” she said in disgust.
“You wanted to know.”
“What for?”
“For in case the food runs out before we think of something else.”
“I guess it kinda makes sense,” she said after thinking it over. “Can you get me my papers? They’re in the room under my bedroll.”
“Not until you’re well again. You work yourself too hard and you need sleep.”
“You and Veronica are ganging up on me with Uncle Michael. Can’t I just have one page?”
“Not until you’re well. Doctor’s orders.”
“Then tell me about your trip.”
“Can’t.”
“Oh, God. Why not?”
“Because it was gory and I’m not telling you about gory stuff.”
“Did you have to kick some caveman ass?” she asked with a titter.
“That’s a good way to put it,” he said, smiling.
“Dr. West says you saved my life.”
“Dr. West saved your life. All Kane and I did was make a run to the pharmacy.”
“I knew you’d make a good dad. See? That’s why I picked you.”
“Hey,” he said softly. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t say stuff like that.”
“I didn’t agree to anything.” She yawned and hunkered down into the bedding, turning over onto her side to face the wall. “Dad, will you scratch my back till I fall asleep?”
He covered his eyes with one hand and began gently scratching her back with the other.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
Forrest’s face contorted as the memories of Daniel and Monica came flooding back to him in a vivid wave, and the tears ran down his cheeks from beneath his fingers. “Please,” he whispered. “Stop.”