“Because you’re going to say yes.” He runs his thumb over the back of my hand. “You’re going to leave.”
I tip my head and scrutinize him. “What makes you so sure?”
“Because I won’t let you stay.”
I frown.
“C’mere.” He pulls me closer by pulling on my hand. I slide over next to him, but it’s not good enough. With some maneuvering, I end up sitting in his lap, facing him.
“You have too much talent to let this pass you by,” he says. “Didn’t you say you were tired of tending bar? It’s time to be a rock star.”
I laugh. “That’s stretching it a little, don’t you think?”
“Nope.” He runs his hands over my arms. “You’ll be great.”
I lean forward and hold my face inches from his. “I still think you should go.”
“Jen, I –”
“I understand about Oliver,” I cut him off. “I do. But, other people tour, and they have families. It’s five months.”
“Remember that when you’re missing me.” He gives me a gentle kiss, then rests his forehead against mine. “I have more reasons than Oliver for saying no.”
“Such as?”
He sighs and lets his hands fall to my thighs. He leans back against the seat and looks out the window. “Audrey.”
I set my palms against his chest and wait for him to explain.
“I won’t put myself in a position to re-live the past,” he says. “Too many things would be the same.”
He looks like he wants to say more, but changes his mind. I wonder if he’s talked to anyone about his sister. I doubt his past comes up when he’s hanging out with Pete and the guys. I lean forward to get his attention and softly ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”
He runs his fingers in circles on my legs. “What’s there to talk about? My sister died on our second tour. I can barely escape the memory without my music. It would be impossible to shake if I went with Dean.”
My breath catches. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Don’t be.” Latson’s sad eyes find mine. “What happened has nothing to do with you.”
My gut tells me he’s wrong. “I think it does.” I sit up straight. “We’re together, right?”
He nods, yet looks confused.
“Then your hurts are mine. Just like if I were upset. Wouldn’t you want to make me feel better?”
“I would.”
“See?” I lean toward him and set my hands on either side of his face. “Listen to me. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what losing Audrey was like for you and your family.”
Latson sighs and gives me another soft kiss. “Thank you.”
“Any time.”
He covers my hands with his and moves them to his chest. “I wish I could go back,” he says. “There are days when I question everything. You should know that about me, for when I act like an ass again. Because it’s going to happen, just like it did at the hospital.”
I squeeze his fingers. “Not if I can help it. What are you second guessing?”
He lets out a sarcastic laugh. “You don’t want to know.”
“I do.”
“There’s no fixing the past.”
“True, but you can feel better about it.” I decide to share my own revelation. “Take my ex, Derek, for example. He was a massive mistake. Huge. But I feel better about what happened because he led me here. Had things not happened the way they did, I’d be four hours away dating a lying bastard. You and I would never have met.”
Latson raises an eyebrow. “Is it wrong to be happy he was a lying bastard?”
“Not at all.” I smile. “Now, tell me one of your regrets.”
He gives me a resigned look. “I don’t think –”
I bring my face close to his. “Tell me.”
“Okay,” he concedes. “Fine.” He looks at our hands. “I regret asking Audrey to manage the band.”
My stomach knots. “Because of what happened?”
“Because she had a degree in finance and was headed to New York City. If I hadn’t asked her to manage us instead of money, Heidi wouldn’t have introduced her to Levi. She wouldn’t have started using, and she’d be here right now.”
My eyes grow wide. “So, yes, then.”
He sighs. “She should have gone to Wall Street. Instead, she got in Dean’s beat-up Chevy with me.”
“Hold on,” I say and sit back. “Did you force her into the car against her will?”
“No.”
“Then it wasn’t your choice. It was hers.” I tip my head. “You guys were successful. You got a record deal. That’s nothing to regret.”
Latson looks like he doesn’t buy it. “It’s not that simple. There’s more to it.”
“I’m sure there is. Maybe you should tell me.”
He grimaces. “Not today.”
Just then, his phone sounds. I pull my hands from his and shift my weight to the side so he can get it out of his pocket. “It’s Dean.” He reads the message: “Tell your woman to check her email.” His eyes light up. “I like the sound of that. Your woman,” he repeats.
I try not to smile, but fail. I like being called his. However, I wish Dean wouldn’t have interrupted us. I want Latson to share more of his past, to get it off his chest. I feel like he hasn’t talked about it enough.
“Where’s your phone?” he asks and grabs my ass, feeling around the pockets. “Let’s see what Dean sent.”
I twitch and laugh. “Hang on.” Leaning over, I find my bag and pull it up on the passenger seat. I root around for my cell. “You seem excited about this. Or are you faking?”
“It’s a great opportunity.” Latson doesn’t answer my question. “You deserve to play, and people deserve to hear you.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not so sure they should pay to see me. What if I embarrass Dean?”
“That won’t happen.”
“How do you know?”
“Because music is a part of you. You love it too much.”
I find my phone and open my email. There are a few messages from Dean. “Which one should we look at first? ‘Schedule’ or ‘Details’? Or ‘Sorry, here’s some more I forgot?’”
“Doesn’t matter. Pick one.”
His hands move to my thighs as I open the most recent message. “Sorry, there’s one more thing I forgot,” I read aloud. “Please say yes.” I give Latson a confused look. The message is followed by a bunch of worried smiley emoji’s.
“Jesus,” he groans. “He’s already resorted to Plan B.”
I shake my head. “Let’s try Details.” I touch the screen. “Here we go.” I lean forward so Latson and I can read the email together:
Jen –
I’ll try to break everything down. Basically the tour runs from late June until mid-November. We’ll be opening for Ariel, but you already know that. If you’re not familiar with her music, I would suggest some quality listening time. You never know what she may want to talk about, and it’s always a good idea to be friendly with the headliner.
I stop reading and look at Latson. “You were friendly with her,” I tease.
He squeezes my legs. “Stop. That was years ago.”
I turn back to Dean’s email.
Speaking of music, I know you’re not familiar with mine. Attached you will find the MP3 files for all ten of my songs. We only have 30 to 45 minutes each night before Ariel, depending on the venue. Each one is different. Regardless, we’ll need to do around eight songs per set. I would recommend downloading the files to your phone or iPod, to listen before rehearsals.
I make a face and think well, duh.
The label will cover our travel expenses like transportation and room & board. I hope you like busses and hotels. Some food may be covered; it depends what we’re attending. You will get paid $200 per show. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but with 63 shows on the schedule, it adds up.
“Sixty-three shows?” My mouth falls open. “Is that normal?”
Latson nods. “If you’re in front of someone like Ariel, yeah.”
I do the quick math. That’s over twelve grand. Twelve thousand dollars in five months to play guitar? With basically no expenses? I hate to say I’m driven by money, but I’m starting to really like this idea.
“Let’s look at the schedule,” Latson interrupts my thoughts.