After he calls the front desk and apologizes to us, he leaves to meet someone with another key. I fall back into bed and close my eyes. Apparently he and Heidi have separate rooms, which I’m grateful for. I don’t want to hear arguing or, god forbid, make up sex. I’ve seen Caleb in all his glory; I don’t need any more to add to the visual. All I want to do is get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be hard enough; attending a funeral is always sad. I want to be as alert as I can for Latson, and I can’t wait to hug O.
Unfortunately, when my alarm sounds, it’s way too soon. I’ve never been a morning person, but this feels especially torturous.
Forcing myself out of bed, I get dressed and catch a cab to the airport. When I make it to my gate, I take a seat and look up to watch some news channel playing on the TV. It’s not long before my eyelids start to droop and I close them for a few minutes. Thankfully Pete is picking me up when I land and taking me to his apartment before the service. I hope he doesn’t mind if I nap on the way.
“Excuse me? Miss?”
Someone nudges my shoulder. When I open my eyes, I’m face to face with a kind-looking elderly woman.
“Yes?” I say, my voice scratchy.
“You’ve been sleeping for quite some time,” she says. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss your flight.”
“Thank you.” I smile. “But my plane doesn’t leave until eight a.m.”
Her face falls. “Oh, honey. It’s after nine.”
It can’t be. My eyes dart to the monitor behind the ticket desk. Bold white letters advertise the time and the temperature, along with the flight number and location. Instantly, my stomach knots. I’m not going to Topeka, Kansas. Panic starts to set in.
I missed my flight.
Chapter Twenty Six
I leap out of the cab as soon as it pulls up to the cemetery.
By the time the airline found me another seat to Chicago, I knew I would miss the church service. With a shaky voice, I called my brother and told him how stupid I was. He tried to reassure me that mistakes happen, but it didn’t make me feel any better. He said he would send me the cemetery address and meet me there. After I changed clothes at the airport, I prayed during the entire flight that I could attend most of the graveside ceremony. When the plane touched down, my body was coiled with tension. Nothing moved fast enough; not my feet, not the cab, and certainly not traffic.
Now, as quickly as I can, I make my way toward the green tent and the people gathered around it. The closer I get, the more I realize everyone is standing in small groups and talking casually.
Damn it all to hell! Did I miss everything here, too?
A group standing off to the side breaks apart and it’s then that Pete catches my eye. He waves and starts to walk in my direction, hand in hand with Jules. The whole Torque crew follows them, and, when we get close enough, Jules lets go of Pete and wraps me in a hug. “You made it.”
“Not soon enough.” I frown over her shoulder. “Did I miss it all?”
She steps back and nods. “We just finished.”
My heart sinks. “How is he?” I look at Pete. “Did you tell him what happened?”
“I did. He seems …” Pete rubs the back of his neck. “He seems pretty pissed, Little J.”
A lump forms in the back of my throat. I knew Latson would be upset.
“You should ride with Kenzie and me to the dinner.” Gwen rubs my arm compassionately. “There’s room in my car.”
“Thanks.” I give her a weak smile.
“Jen!”
In the space between Carter and Felix I see Oliver running toward me. He looks adorable in his little suit and tie. I kneel down and the boys step aside, so Oliver can reach me. He throws his arms around my neck, and I squeeze him tight. “Hi, O.”
“Uncle Gunnar said you were coming.” He leans back. “What took you so long?”
“I got stuck at the airport,” I say. “How are you? I’m sorry about your grandma.”
He nods. “She was sick, but it’s okay. Know why?”
“Why?”
“Because she’s in heaven with my mom.”
The lump in my throat gets bigger. “I’m sure she is.”
“C’mon.” He pulls on my hand. “I want to show you something.”
I stand and look at Gwen. “Go ahead. We’ll wait for you,” she says.
Trailing behind Oliver, I follow him toward the green tent. I search for Latson and find him talking to Dean and a few other people. He stands with his hands in the pockets of his black suit, the jacket fastened by one button at the waist. I’ve never seen him dressed so formally, and it takes my breath away. To say he cleans up nicely is an understatement. The only thing I wish I could change is the sad, distant look on his face. I curse myself for screwing this up; I should have been here for him.
Oliver and I keep walking and, just when I think he’s leading me to his grandmother, he takes me behind the green tent. As we pass by, I get an up-close view of the deep mahogany casket covered with a huge spray of every pastel rose imaginable. The finality of it hits me, and I swallow. Oliver stops in front of a headstone and points. “This is my mom,” he says in a quiet voice. “This is where I come to visit her, although Uncle Gunnar doesn’t bring me a lot. He might more now, since Grandma is here, too.”
My breath catches. This is the last thing I expected him to show me. The August sun reflects off a polished gray stone etched with:
Audrey Jean Latson
Beloved Daughter, Sister, Mother
November 12, 1984 ~ April 9, 2012
“All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.” ~ Pink Floyd
I crouch down and sit on the balls of my feet to study the intricate flowers carved around the stone. They look like Lily of the Valley mixed with Forget-Me-Nots. “This is a very special place,” I say to Oliver. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
He smiles, then kisses his finger and touches the top of the stone. “This is what we do when we come here, so she knows we love her,” he explains. “Uncle Gunnar says angels can see our kisses.”
Without warning, tears prick my eyes. What an amazing thing for him to say.
“Oliver.”
Latson’s voice is stern behind me, and a wave of anxiety slides down my spine. I immediately stand, but he barely glances at me.
“Uncle Gunnar, look.” Oliver’s face lights up. “Jen’s here.”
“We have to go.” Latson extends his hand toward his nephew. “We don’t want to be late.” His eyes dart to me when he says the word “late”. They’re cold. Colder than I’ve ever seen them.
“Okay,” Oliver says and reluctantly shuffles towards his uncle. “I’ll see you at the restaurant, Jen.”
“’Kay,” I say, my voice stuck.
As they walk away, I’m rooted in place. Latson didn’t speak to me, much less look at me.
My heart cracks, and the fissure runs to my soul.
~~~~
Hours later, I’m curled up on Pete’s couch. I don’t think my body can get any smaller. Maybe I’m trying to disappear, or maybe I’m trying to hold my insides together. Either way, the feeling sucks. I’d give anything to go back in time and fix today.
“You should go talk to him.” Jules sits by my feet. She places a mug on the table in front of me, and I give her a confused look. “Coffee,” she says. “You didn’t eat anything at the dinner.”
She’s right. All I did was push food around my plate.
“I wasn’t hungry,” I say. I’m still not. I hurt Latson, and I feel hideous.
“C’mon.” She swats me on my ass.
“Ow!” I scowl at her. “What was that for?”
“Nothing is going to solve itself with you sitting here. He’s right upstairs. Go. Talk. To. Him.”
“I want to,” I say. So badly.
“Then what’s stopping you?”
I shrug.
Jules lets out a sigh. “They say never go to bed angry. You should at least go upstairs and apologize.”
She’s right. I wanted to apologize the minute I saw Latson at the cemetery. I wanted to apologize at the dinner. However, he was with family, and he wouldn’t acknowledge me. “I think I need to give him some space. He just lost his mother.” I sit up and reach for the coffee. “I’m not sure it’s the right time.”