“I guess so,” she agreed a little breathlessly as his tongue licked at a mark he’d recently left on her throat. “Still, I can’t guarantee Taryn won’t one day launch herself at Amber and scratch her eyes out.” The thought was pretty appealing. The bitch was always lingering, uninvited. Not that Amber was the only one, to be fair. As Derren went wherever Nick went, the only time Derren wasn’t around was when he was sleeping in the motor home—it was empty other than for Bruce, as Nick now stayed with Shaya.
Although the Phoenix wolves all stayed in the shifter motel like Nick’s family, some of them visited at least once a day. Roni hung around a lot too, though she mostly remained outside. Not only that, Jesse, Bracken, and Zander patrolled the perimeter of the house “on guard”—and totally of their own accord. They returned home to bathe and change when they needed to, but that was pretty much it; they had apparently decided to attach themselves to Nick, though it was hardly surprising to her. As Derren had said, Nick drew people to him and inspired them—he just didn’t see it. Expectedly, having all these people around annoyed the shit out of Nick.
“You know,” began Nick, “I’m actually surprised that Amber was ballsy enough to touch Trey. The Alpha female isn’t someone anyone should go out of their way to aggravate. In fact, I’m equally surprised Taryn didn’t draw blood.”
“Personally, I think Amber was hoping that Taryn would try to attack her so you would fly to Amber’s rescue—after all, it’d be pretty instinctive for you, considering she was once under your protection.” That would then have resulted in Shaya going ballistic at Nick for siding with Amber, as Shaya’s loyalty lay with Taryn.
Recalling how Amber had turned to him for support, Nick thought Shaya might just be right. “Well, if she honestly thinks I’ll jump to her defense, she’s very mistaken.”
“The woman’s getting on my last nerve, trailing after you all the time. And her playing the ‘close friend’ card is annoying too.” Shaya cringed at how every word had dripped with jealousy.
“I don’t have friends, you know that.”
“Yes, you do. You just don’t realize it.” When utter confusion flashed across his face, she rolled her eyes. “Derren doesn’t stick with you just because he wants to guard you. He does it because you’re his friend. And what about all those friends who helped you track me down?”
“Contacts. They are contacts.”
“I suppose these people who repeatedly call you and Derren, asking if you need backup against the humans, aren’t your friends either,” she said dryly.
Nick shrugged. “I don’t bond.”
Shaya shook her head, sighing. “You’re a hopeless case, Nick Axton.”
“And you’re being jealous for no good reason,” he assured her gently as he collared her throat and then tipped her head backward. “I only want you.” He ran his tongue along her collarbone, loving the taste and smell of her. “When you’re finally ready to trust me totally, I’ll prove that by claiming you. Until then, I’m going to spend my time kissing you and biting you and fucking you ’til you accept that you’re mine.”
She didn’t say what she was thinking, that she had already accepted that she was his, and that the problem was she couldn’t fully accept and trust that he would always be hers. It was becoming less and less about the fact that he had once left her, and more and more about her own insecurities. How could she not worry that he would one day look at her and find her lacking because she didn’t match him in strength on every level? If he had been merely a dominant male, it wouldn’t be so much of an issue. But he was a born alpha. How could she not worry that he might one day resent her for being the reason he had left his pack and couldn’t hold an Alpha position anywhere? It would torture and stifle Nick’s wolf to obey someone else when he was a natural-born leader.
It was fair to say that he hadn’t given her any reason to believe that these insecurities were rational. In fact, over the past month he had made her feel nothing but cherished. Not with soppy words or actions, but by the way he gave her his total and utter attention—an unwavering focus that both ate her up and comforted her. When he thought she needed or wanted something, she suddenly had it. When he believed there was a problem, he took care of it.
She’d been right to think he wasn’t a guy who could ever be “managed”—his iron will wouldn’t allow it—but he didn’t try to manage her either. He didn’t try to walk all over her as other dominant males had done, and he was quick to snap if he thought anyone else tried to do it. He made her happy. But could she make him happy? Could she really hold someone like Nick? Could a mating bond ever truly be enough if it might mean he and his wolf were forced to live packless and with no territory to call their own? When it would mean that any children they had would be also be forced to live that life?
“You’re thinking too hard.” Nick lifted her head and bit her lip. “Stop.”
“Like it’s that simple.”
“If it’s a distraction you need,” he began with a devilish smile, grinding her against him, “I can happily help you out with it.” Taking her upstairs, he did just that.
A few hours later, Shaya was sitting on her sofa drinking coffee and watching with a smile as Roni lay protectively where Kye was playing with his toys on the carpet with Dominic and Taryn. Although Kye wouldn’t be able to use his gift of healing psychological scars until he was much older, he still oozed a feeling of safety that attracted anyone with such scars. It was safe to say that Roni had some.
As was often the case, the living area was pretty crowded. Shaya, Derren, and Trey were on the sofa. Greta and Kathy had each taken an armchair. And Tao and Amber had each dragged in one of the dining chairs. Amber had also brought in a spare chair, and Shaya was pretty sure it was supposed to be for Nick—who was currently in the kitchen speaking with Eli on his cell phone. Shaya had to give it to her, the bitch was certainly persistent.
She supposed that in Amber’s eyes, it was Shaya who was the one interfering. Amber had most likely viewed Nick as hers for a very long time and may have even convinced herself they had a chance of imprinting one day. Having felt the sting of rejection, Shaya would have sympathized with Amber—okay, she might have sympathized with her—if Nick hadn’t made it clear to his entire pack that he didn’t intend to mate with anyone but his true mate. If Amber had convinced herself otherwise, it was her problem.
“This is bad, isn’t it?” asked Kathy, referring to the news report that was practically dedicated to making shifters seem like a species that needed to be completely eradicated. “The extremists might just win this fight and have the laws put in place.”
“They won’t win the bigger fight,” stated Derren. “No shifter is going to allow themselves to be chipped or confined somewhere. All this is about control. It’s in our nature to want freedom—we need it.”
“You think a war will break out between us and the humans?” asked Dominic.
Derren raised a brow at him. “Would you be prepared to let them take away your freedom like that?”
“Hell no.”
“Then there’s your answer.”
“But the humans have to know how bad things could get,” said Tao. “They can’t be so stupid as to pass laws that will lead to a war.”
“Why not?” Derren snorted. “They battle among themselves often enough—much more so than shifters do. And they’re arrogant enough to believe they’ll win because they know there’s a higher population of them than us. What they don’t know is that not all shifter packs have come out of the closet. There’s a lot more of us than humans can even imagine, and many different species of shifter.”