“Yes, it was,” I said firmly.
“It was even worse than that,” said Molly.
“Puts a nice shine on your fillings,” said the Armourer. “Now, finally: a pack of playing cards. Look pretty damned normal, don’t they?”
He thrust the pack into my hands, and I shuffled them a few times, and fanned out a few cards, to look them over.
“Marked?” I said. “Infrared, ultraviolet?”
The Armourer sniffed. “Nothing so obvious. This . . . is a chameleon deck. You can substitute it for any other pack of cards, and this pack will immediately take on all the characteristics of the pack it’s replacing. Identical, down to the smallest detail. Except that this deck is preprogrammed to ensure you win, every time. Any game, any variation; the pack will provide you and you alone with the winning cards, every time. No matter who deals, or how many times the pack gets shuffled. But, you have to get really close to the deck you’re replacing, for the chameleon aspect to kick in.”
I put the cards in my jacket pocket. Molly glared at the Armourer. “I don’t get any toys?”
“You don’t need my help,” said the Armourer. “You have your magic. But do be careful, Molly; Casino Security will go to great lengths to prevent you from using all your usual tricks and practices.”
“Really like to see them stop me,” said Molly.
“They will,” said the Armourer. “Unless you’re very subtle.” And then he stopped, and looked at me, and something in his face changed. He looked . . . sad, and concerned, like all the people I’d passed in the corridors before. Who looked like they knew what was coming, and were sorry for me. The Armourer, my uncle Jack, was looking at me with something particular in mind, and he looked . . . guilty. “And now, Eddie,” he said slowly, “we come to the unfortunate part. The necessary, unpleasant part.”
“The memory drug doesn’t count?” said Molly.
“I’m sorry, Eddie,” said the Armourer, his gaze fixed on me, so sad, so sad. “I really am very sorry, but there’s no other way to do this.”
“What?” I said. “What are you talking about, Uncle Jack?”
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. My stomach muscles tensed painfully. There was a sense of something really bad in the air, a foreboding of something awful just waiting to happen. I felt like I should be running. Molly glared quickly about her, looking for a threat. She could feel it too.
“Ethel!” said the Armourer. “Show yourself, please.”
And just like that, the familiar comforting red glow appeared in the Armoury, confining itself to the Armourer’s workstation. Warm rosy red light fell over me like a spotlight, picking me out; a spiritual pressure I could feel holding me in place, even as it embraced me. Ethel manifested in the Armoury, and immediately all the lab assistants stopped what they were doing and hurried forward from all sides. Many of them were carrying surveillance tech and recording gear, along with some other stuff I didn’t even recognise. All of them eager for a chance to study our mysterious other-dimensional benefactor.
“Well done, boys and girls,” said the Armourer. “Nice reaction times. Watch all you like, but don’t get too close.”
“And whoever’s doing that, stop it immediately,” said Ethel.
One particular piece of tech suddenly went up in smoke, and the assistant carrying it retired, coughing heavily.
“I like it here,” Ethel said comfortably. “So many interesting things . . . and look at all the toys! I want to play with all of them!”
“What are you doing here, Ethel?” I said. “You never leave the Sanctity!”
“She’s here because I need her to be here,” said the Armourer.
And then he stopped. There was something more he wanted to say, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Let me, Jack,” said Ethel. “It’s all right. He’ll understand.”
“Understand what?” I said. “What’s going on here!”
“I have to remove your torc, Eddie,” said Ethel. “It’s the only way we can get a Drood into Casino Infernale.”
“Oh, come on!” I said. “Can’t you just disguise it, or alter it?”
“No,” said Ethel.
“The kind of Security people you’ll be dealing with would see through any disguise we might try,” said the Armourer. He made himself look at me, and the naked sorrow and suffering in his gaze clutched at my heart with a cold, hard hand.
“Strange matter weighs heavily on the world,” said Ethel. “All I can do is remove it completely.”
Molly moved in close beside me. I don’t know what was in my face, but she didn’t like looking at it.
“Without your torc, you’ll be completely unprotected,” said the Armourer. “Nothing to stand between you and the dangers of the Casino. There’s a good chance I’m sending you to your death, Eddie, and the only excuse I have is that it’s necessary.”
“You don’t have to do this, Eddie,” said Molly. She placed a comforting hand on my arm. “Tell them to go to Hell. Tell them to get someone else for their suicide mission. I’ll stand by you. You know that. It doesn’t always have to be you!”
“Yes, it does,” I said. I hardly recognised my own voice. It sounded numb, shocked. “It does have to be me, because I have the best chance of succeeding and coming back alive. It wouldn’t be fair . . . to hand this off to someone else. Someone less prepared, with a worse chance. This is too important to let someone else screw it up because they were second choice. So it does have to be me. Go ahead, Ethel. Do it.”
“Eddie . . .” said Ethel.
“Do it!” I said. “Do it now, before I change my mind.”
The torc disappeared from around my neck. Just vanished, drawn back into whatever unnatural place Ethel found it. I felt it go, and it felt like being skinned. Like having a layer of my soul ripped off. Afterwards, Molly told me I screamed. I don’t remember. I think I made myself forget. I think I had to. The next thing I do remember, I was on the floor . . . on my knees, sobbing like a baby. Molly was on her knees beside me, holding me in her arms, rocking me back and forth and murmuring comforting words to me.
“You bitch!” I heard her scream at Ethel. “What have you done to him?”
“I’m sorry,” said Ethel. “But I couldn’t just take the torc away. Casino Security would still have been able to detect that it had been there. Strange matter leaves marks. I had to alter you right down to the genetic level, Eddie. So you’re not just a Drood without a torc; you never were a Drood. Never have been a Drood. You’re Shaman Bond, and you always have been.”
“Just what I always wanted,” I said, bitterly. “To have never been a Drood.”
“When the mission is over, you come back here and Ethel will reinstate your torc,” said the Armourer.
“Thanks,” I said. “Thanks for everything, Uncle Jack.”
I made myself stop shaking, with an effort of will. Molly let go and sat back. She brought out a handkerchief and wiped the cold sweat off my face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so angry. I started to get to my feet again, and Molly was quickly there to help me. She carried most of my weight, until I could carry it myself. I looked slowly about me. There were lab assistants everywhere, some of them recording my reactions, but none of them said anything. Molly glared about her, her hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t have the words. I felt cold, and empty. Violated. I’d never felt so naked and vulnerable before.
“It’s all right, Eddie,” said Molly. “You’ve still got me.”
“You’ve still got me,” I said. “I’m still here. Most of me, anyway.”