“Come on. Let me get you out of here.”
She pulled away and walked in the direction of her bedroom, from what I assumed. I followed her, watching as she gathered her things. Her sniffles indicated she was still crying, even though I was unable to see her face. “Do you need help?” I offered.
“No. I think you’ve done enough.”
“Cassie, I never meant for anyone to get hurt. You know that. I begged you not to come here tonight.”
“Don’t.” She pointed at me. “You don’t get to scold me. I know exactly what I’ve done.”
“I wasn’t going to scold you.”
She rushed by me. “Just get me out of here. I can’t stand around staring at the blood for any longer.”
I don’t know why I kept pushing. It was obvious she needed time to take it all in and understand what came next. She had a long road ahead of her, and I wished there was something I could do to make it easier. I hated having something to do with her pain.
That’s when I knew I was going to watch out for her, at least until she could get back on her feet, or finally be able to call her family and ask them to forgive her. Cassie needed support, not someone pushing her to do the right thing.
I’d caught my guy. While he was behind bars, we’d tear his life apart until we found enough evidence to keep him in jail for the rest of his days.
Chapter 19
Cassie
Dead.
Brant was dead.
It kept repeating in my head, including the sound of the gun going off. After seeing Rocky being carted out I realized he’d been injured. I wondered if Brant had gotten a shot in before being gunned down. I hoped it were the case, because at least he didn’t go down without trying.
Agent Campbell drove us away from the scene. I didn’t really care where we were going. I knew I’d been clean for long enough where drugs weren’t in my system, but I still felt dizzy and out of control. My mouth tasted like puke, and my stomach was back to reminding me it was yet again empty. I stared out the window, watching the miles distance me from where I’d witnessed something horrifying. I didn’t know the first thing about overcoming such a devastating loss. I honestly didn’t even know if I wanted to. I felt responsible. So many times I could have said something to Brant. If I’d only acted sooner he would have still been with me.
Then I thought about the cheating, and the way he’d abandoned me in my time of need. Would we still be a couple if he’d lived? Could I have forgiven him for being unfaithful?
I didn’t think so. I’d made too many sacrifices to be able to let something so serious go without punishment. I didn’t want to be in an uncommitted relationship. I craved stability and faithfulness. If Brant couldn’t be monogamous, why had I wasted my time?
I suppose I should have suspected it. He’d been keeping secrets since the time we’d arrived. I chalked it up to being about the job, even though I sort of knew it wasn’t the only reason.
In that instant I thought about my parents. Still to this day they were madly in love. If my mom hadn’t gotten her tubes tied they’d probably have a dozen of us kids running around. I appreciated the way my father was also gentle with her. I valued their friendship, and the commitment they shared to be each other’s best friends. Against their better judgment I’d fallen for the wrong type of guy. I think I was drawn to him, or guys with problems. Maybe in some ways I was one of those women who thought they could fix their messed up man.
I’d failed.
I’d sent my boyfriend into an early grave. I’d destroyed hope that we’d have a future. We had nothing to show for, except a huge mess I couldn’t begin to fix. My future may have been unwritten, but I couldn’t begin to imagine ever being happy again.
When we arrived back at Agent Campbell’s house I was a little confused. “With Rocky locked up am I still in danger?”
“Cassie, we’ve learned Mr. James hasn’t been working alone. While we were involved in his arrest, the operation was going on in different places. We managed to obtain his books from within the home. Until we can figure out how many suspects are involved, you’re our only witness. It’s my duty to keep you safe.”
“Oh great. Are we going to watch eighties movies and paint each other’s nails?”
“Look, I’m sorry about what happened to your boyfriend. I know it must be hard for you. I’m not trying to make you angry. I’ll do my best to keep my distance.”
“Whatever,” I said as I climbed out of his sedan.
Once I’d stormed to the front door, I realized I had to wait for him to unlock it. He came up beside me and put the key into the hole. For a brief second he glanced in my direction. Our eyes met, and I had to turn away. He was the reason all this was happening. I realized the investigation was above his pay grade, but if he hadn’t come into my life Brant would still be alive. I needed someone to blame and he was the easiest target.
His house was exactly as we’d left it. Even the lights were still on in the kitchen and dining room. While I sat down on the couch and cried to myself, Agent Campbell got right on his phone and started briefing his boss on everything that had transpired.
I listened to his every word, looking for more reasons to hate him. Of course, the topic of me running away and barging into Rocky’s house came up. Right away I felt guilty. He’d told me to steer clear of the property. He’d tried to keep me safe.
I was so confused.
The pain didn’t subside, and as the minutes turned to hours I remained in the same position on the couch. Agent Campbell never checked on me until he was ready to go to bed. He brought me a pillow and blanket, waiting until I got comfortable before cuffing me to his end table. “Seriously? Is this necessary?”
“Are you really going to ask me after what happened before? I can’t take chances, Cassie. You’re under my protection.”
“I won’t go anywhere. I don’t even have a place to go.”
“That doesn’t stop you from running away from the investigation. Like it or not, you’re going to have to testify, and until I know you’ve kicked your habit and can manage on your own, I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
“You suck. You know that right?”
“I’ve been called worse. If you need anything,” he paused. “It can wait until I get up.”
“What if I have to pee?”
He scratched his head. “Hold it.”
I watched him walk down the hallway and disappear into one of the bedrooms. As upset as my stomach was I knew I couldn’t possibly eat anything. For several hours I laid awake trying to come to grips with everything. I shed more tears, and tried to remember all the good times I’d had with Brant. Each memory left me feeling worse than the one before it. I even tried to watch television, only to fall apart when I saw any shows with couples in them. Well into the morning I suffered inconceivable agony and grief.
The sound of someone coming in the front door startled me. I worried someone was coming back to finish the job Rocky hadn’t been able to do. Key’s jingling caught my attention and then I spotted a female rounding the corner at the top of the stairs. She froze when she saw me sitting there, cuffed to the table.
“You must be Cassie.”
“Are you the roommate?” I inquired.
“Yeah. I’m Charlie, well it’s what I like to go by now.”
I could tell she was a tomboy, and maybe even a lesbian. She had a short men’s hairstyle and wore her pants like a man would. “Agent Campbell went to bed a while ago.”