She drew at her cigarette, drew hard — so that her cheeks hollowed and showed the fine bone-structure that lay underneath. ‘I should never have married anyone, except you. And I shouldn’t have listened to you on that subject.’
‘You had no option. If you’d gone on hammering at me for another five years, you wouldn’t have altered my mind. And I would say the same thing now.’
‘Why? Why? I could take it! It was my decision.’ Her eyes were searching his, desperately, uncomprehendingly.
He smiled quietly into them. But there was no humour in the smile. Only sadness and love. ‘No, it wasn’t. It was decided for you the day I walked into that minefield.’ They sat in silence, while the centre second-hand of the electric clock went halfway round the dial. ‘Would it help if I talked to him?’ he said.
‘I’m afraid not. He’d think you were hounding him. You know what he feels about you. No, I’ll have to do it myself.’
‘You must make him realise that if he has been holding anything back and doesn’t tell the truth now, it’s bound to come out in the end.’ He looked at her hard. ‘I shouldn’t like the information to come from me, Angela.’
‘But you’d have to—’
‘If I ever found out. And I would find out. In the end. Or somebody would. That’s partly what this conference is for. When accidents happen, they must be stopped. They must never be allowed to happen again. Hargreaves will spare no one — not for lying, anyway. An honest mistake is another matter. Negligence — that is also human. But concealing facts at a fact-finding committee (that’s what this amounts to) can’t be forgiven. And don’t forget, Jack wouldn’t be the only one to blame, in any event. None of us would come out of this very well. The Department as a whole would be in the mire, and Hargreaves would have to take the ultimate responsibility. Still, we are rather anticipating the worst, aren’t we? There is the man Spigett — he’s got plenty to answer for already.’
‘Spigett?’
‘The canning magnate. And here’s Kate with the Old Man. Our time is up, and I expect Hargreaves will want to talk to me straight away.’ He got up, rather clumsily, from his chair. ‘You know what? Sometimes I hate my job. So don’t let Jack make me hate it more than I do already.’ He hailed the Director at the swing-doors.
‘Sorry to drag you back at such short notice, Arlen,’ said Hargreaves. He did not stop at all as he spoke but, putting out an arm, he caught Gatt in his slipstream and swept him straight into his inner office, talking as he did so. ‘If you’ve had a chance to read the reports, you’ll see why there is no time to lose…’ The door closed behind them.
Jack Seff stepped out of the lift just as Dick was waiting to go down in it. Seff looked tired and a little dishevelled after his plane journey. Dick let the lift go down empty. ‘Good morning, sir,’ he greeted cheerfully. ‘I hope you had a comfortable journey.’ He had asked the R.A.F. to hand out a little of their V.I.P. treatment.
Seff’s voice was a little strained. ‘Yes, thanks, fine. By the way, I phoned the flat and got no reply. Is Angela—’
‘Mrs Seff is here. Actually she’s waiting in my office. I think she was hoping to have a word with you before you go in.’ Dick thought, he’s in love with her and doesn’t want to show it and is wondering whether she’s been somewhere else all night.
Seff relaxed a bit and grinned at him. ‘I bet a few wives populating your office is just what the doctor ordered on a day like this!’ Dick made no comment; he knew he couldn’t fool this character. So he steered Seff in the general direction of his office, and left him to it.
Seff entered Dick’s office and found Angela half-leaning, half-sitting on the desk. He closed the door and stood a little awkwardly, waiting for her to speak.
Eventually she said: ‘I wish you had let me come with you to Scotland this time, Jack.’
Seff wouldn’t look directly at her. Instead, his face was turned half towards the window; and Angela could see the stubble etched sharply against the daylight. He hadn’t shaved, but the omission didn’t conceal his basic good looks — the deceptively strong jaw, the hard furrows that gave his face such character. And those too-honest eyes, that made him such a bad liar. ‘Why?’ His voice sounded sharper than he meant it to.
She didn’t allow it to hurt too much. She was Jack’s wife fulltime, even if he didn’t believe it. She said quietly: ‘Because I wanted to be with you.’ He smiled a little ironically, but made no comment. She went on: ‘How are things up at Marsdowne?’
‘Much the same as usual. Why?’
‘Everything going smoothly?’
‘Like clockwork,’ he said tonelessly. ‘It always does. You know that.’
She walked over to him, rather timidly, standing half-way behind him, as if she too wanted to look out of the window. She rested a hand on his shoulder and felt it stiffen. ‘You realise,’ she said, trying to keep her voice matter-of-fact, ‘that they’re going to tear the place apart to find out what happened.’
She had expected him to fly at her, interpreting it as an accusation. But his voice remained flat and calm. ‘Nothing has gone wrong up there,’ he said, ‘nothing, that is, since that old chestnut — Project 3.’
‘Do you know that? Have you checked?’
‘There’s no need,’ he said. ‘The system is infallible.’
Angela saw that his hand was shaking, and wondered. ‘I still think you should start an investigation before they do.’
‘Who’s they? Gatt?’
‘And the others.’
‘But mostly Gatt.’ He smiled grimly. ‘I get it. Arlen has given you a friendly warning. If I don’t get at the facts, he will. That’s it, isn’t it? Very nice of him! Very brotherly — or is brotherly quite the right word? Well, you can tell Arlen that he’s got nothing to worry about, and nor have I.’
‘Believe me, Jack, if that is so, no one will be happier than Arlen.’
‘Arlen, Arlen, Arlen!’ he flared. ‘Is he all you ever think about?’
She didn’t answer this. She didn’t even lose her temper; there was no point. There was something more important that she had to say, and she took the plunge. ‘One more thing, Jack. I know you’ll hate me for saying this, but I must say it for your sake.’ Her voice shook a little in spite of her efforts to keep it level. ‘Try and go easy on the drinking while you’re down here, will you? It looks so bad.’
This time what she feared would happen did happen. He was angry and hurt, and suddenly he looked at her as if he hated her. The words came out like white-hot metal. ‘Are you suggesting,’ he managed to say, ‘that people are liable to think that alcohol affects my job or my judgment? Is that what you’re saying? Or perhaps you think that yourself?’
For the first time she was losing control. ‘I didn’t say that!’
‘I didn’t say you said it; I said you thought it. And you do, don’t you?’
And suddenly she couldn’t help the tears, and Seff’s breaking point came; for it was past bearing for him to see her like that. For despite his jealousy, despite his doubts, his bitter hatred for a man who by his very disability had power, he loved this woman beyond all expression. And as he buried his head in her shoulder he could only say: ‘Oh my God, oh my God…’