“You know, you make me feel better, Peter. About a lot of things. Most of all myself.”
“I hope I do. You make me feel better about me. I always feel that you respect what I do.” He took a deep breath. “Anne never really approved of what I did.” He looked at Mel with a small smile. “She thought transplants were disgusting and wrong. Her mother had been a Christian Scientist, and she always had a basic distrust of the medical profession.”
“That must have been hard on you.” He had never told her before, and she was intrigued by the information.
“It was. I never fully felt I had her approval.”
“You have mine, you know, Peter.”
“I know that. And it means a lot to me. I think that was one of the first things I liked about you. I respected you, and I could feel that you respected me.” He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “And then I fell in love with your sexy legs and great ass, and here we are.”
She laughed softly in the darkness, amazed at how strange life was at times. Only hours before she had been hysterical, sure that she was about to lose her daughter, and now they were lying in the dark exchanging confidences and talking. But she realized something that she hadn't been aware of before. She and Peter had become friends over the past few months, best friends, and she had never been as close to anyone, woman or man. He had broken through the walls she had built over the years, and she hadn't even noticed. “I love you, Peter Hallam, much, much more than you know.” And with that, she yawned, and fell asleep in his arms, and when he looked down at her, he saw that she was smiling.
CHAPTER 29
Peter took Mark and Jess and Matthew home on Sunday night, and Mel stayed in Truckee with Val. They gave up the condo and she took a room in a motel, and walked to the hospital every day, and on Wednesday the doctor said she could fly home with her mother. Surprisingly, it was a nice time for both of them, and they talked to each other as they hadn't in years, about life, about boys, about Marie, about sex, about marriage and Peter, and Mel's life. And when they landed in Los Angeles on Wednesday night, Mel felt that she knew Val as she never had before. And she only wished that she had that kind of time with them more often, without having to go through the trauma that they had just endured.
Val seemed in pretty good shape mentally as well. She felt terrible about having done away with an unborn child, but she had decided that having a baby at sixteen would have ruined her life and Mel couldn't disagree with her. It would have changed her whole life, and forced her into a lasting relationship with Mark, which may not have been what she would want later. She had admitted to her mother that she was ready to let go of him for a while, and see other boys. The intensity of their relationship scared her, and she didn't want the same thing to happen again. Mel was pleased with her conclusions, and maybe it had been a costly lesson that would serve her well for the rest of her life. She would never be cavalier about birth control, or getting involved in a sexual relationship without giving it serious thought. But Mel was sorry that she had to go through such misery. She had described the abortion to Mel, and Mel was astounded by her courage, and she told her as much.
“I don't think I could have done it.”
“I didn't feel like I had a choice. And Mark was there.” She tried to shrug it off, but they both knew she never would. Mel had held her close and they had cried, as Val told her.
“I'm sorry, baby.”
“Me too, Mom … I'm so sorry …” She returned to L. A. contrite, and Mel noticed that night at dinner that she treated Mark more like a brother now, and he didn't seem to mind. There had already been a subtle change between them, and it was for the best. Peter had noticed it too, and mentioned it to Mel that night. “I know.” She nodded. “I think the big romance is over.”
“That's just as well.” Peter smiled tiredly. He had had a long day, and been in surgery for five hours that morning. He had come back to real life and a mountain of work waiting for him at Center City. “We can let him loose on the neighborhood now and wish him luck. I never realized what an agony it was to have daughters.” Even though he had done his share of worrying about Pam, but not in quite the same way as one worried about Val. It was that damn body of hers that worried one so. “It's a damn shame she's not ugly.”
Mel grinned. “Tell me about it. I've been getting gray hair over it for years.”
But by the next day she was back to getting gray hair in the newsroom. Paul Stevens had created all kinds of chaos while she was gone. She had called in sick for three days, and when she came back on Thursday morning, he had done everything he could to sabotage her. Fortunately, the producer knew what Stevens had in mind, and that he hated Mel with a passion, so he hadn't done any real damage. But it was depressing to hear the gossip he had circulated about her, and to hear the trouble he had tried to create, by claiming she was hailed as a royal bitch in New York, and everyone there had hated her guts, that she had screwed her way to the top, and any other bit of filth he could think of. Mel reported it all to Peter that night, and he was livid for her.
“Why, that little sonofabitch …” He had clenched a fist and Mel smiled tiredly at his reaction.
“He really is a bastard.”
“I'm sorry you have to go through that.”
“So am I. But there it is.”
“Why does he hate you so much?”
“Mainly, the difference in money, and also because he doesn't want to share the limelight. He hasn't had a coanchor in years and he doesn't want one. Neither have I, but I figure you have to adapt to the situation. I'd like nothing better than to get rid of him, but I figure that it's not worth the aggravation.”
“Too bad he doesn't figure the same thing.”
“Isn't that the truth.”
And on and on it went for the next month, so much so that Mel began to feel ill most of the time, she had headaches, and a knot in her stomach that never went away, and she began to dread going to the station. She did as many interviews as she could, just to get away, but nowadays she was also trying to spend more time with the girls, particularly the twins. Jessica's speech hadn't gone unheeded at the time of Val's abortion. She had accused her mother of being more interested in Peter's children than them and now Mel was trying to shift the balance. But she sensed that Pam seemed to feel put aside, and she noticed her ganging up on her with Mrs. Hahn whenever she could, and to alleviate that, Mel attempted to include Pam with the twins whenever possible, but it was difficult to keep everyone happy, and lately she had been feeling so lousy that it was difficult to meet their needs and hers too. And she was out shopping with Matt one day when she actually had to sit down and catch her breath. She was so dizzy and nauseous that she thought she was going to faint in Safeway. She made him promise not to tell his father, but he was so upset he told Jess, who immediately told Peter when he came home. He glanced thoughtfully at Mel over dinner and then questioned her about it that night.
“You sick, Mel?”
“No, why?” She turned away so he wouldn't see her face,
“I don't know. A little bird told me that you didn't feel so hot today.” He was looking worriedly at her when she turned around.
“And what did the little bird say?” She wanted to feel out how much Peter knew.
“That you almost fainted at the grocery store.” He pulled her down on the bed next to him and looked closely at her. “Is that true, Mel?”