Sitting down on his couch and gazing at his blank walls, Noah felt adrift and intensely lonely. It was as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him. He needed some human warmth, and unfortunately, Ava was not coming through. The only person who came to mind was Leslie Brooks. He looked at his watch again as if he’d forgotten he’d just checked it. It was almost 4:00. He wondered if Leslie would be available. For the entire two-years-plus that they had been apart, it had always been Leslie who called, and it had always been on Saturday afternoon. Maybe she might be available. After all, it was Saturday afternoon.
In his depressed state, Noah found decision making difficult. Should he call, and if he should, should he use FaceTime or not? As a doctor he was always decisive, but in the social arena, he was not, especially now, under these extraordinary circumstances. After going back and forth several times, he heaved himself to his feet and went into the bathroom to get a look at himself in the medicine-cabinet mirror. He didn’t like what he saw. He hadn’t shaved since Tuesday, hadn’t slept well, and accordingly looked like death warmed over. No, he wouldn’t use FaceTime if he called. He didn’t want to scare Leslie, even though he craved sympathy.
After flip-flopping on whether to call or not, he impulsively clicked her number. He felt great relief when she picked up on the third ring. Noah had been counting.
“Will wonders never cease?” Leslie said. She was a little out of breath. “This is the first time you’ve called me since I don’t remember when. What’s up?”
“Can you talk, or is this an inconvenient time?”
“I’m on the street, walking back to my apartment,” Leslie said. “I’ll be home in five minutes. Can I call you back?”
“I suppose,” Noah said. Now that he had her on the line, he didn’t want to lose her.
“You don’t sound good. Is something wrong?”
“Call me back,” Noah said. “But don’t use FaceTime. I don’t want to scare you.” He disconnected without waiting for a response.
As Noah impatiently waited, he found himself imagining how her apartment looked. Undoubtedly, it was the opposite of his, with all sorts of decorative, feminine stuff, including colorful curtains and soft rugs. When he lived with it, he’d never appreciated it. Now he missed it.
True to her word, she called back. It was more like ten minutes than five, but Noah was happy to hear her voice.
“Okay,” Leslie said in a serious tone. “What’s wrong? Have you broken up with your new girlfriend?”
“Worse,” Noah said. “I was suspended from my residency position. In a week and a half I have to go before the Surgical Residency Advisory Board to see if it is going to be permanent. One of the ironies is that I sit on the board, so I need to recuse myself.”
“Good God!” Leslie exclaimed. “How? Why? This has to be a misunderstanding.”
Noah told her the whole story. It felt good for him to voice it all, especially to someone who knew him and whose opinion he trusted. Leslie was well aware of Dr. Mason, as she had been around during the Dr. Meg Green fiasco and the resulting fallout. Noah included that Ava, whose name he now used, had not so much as texted him since the event, which she surely would have learned about. He admitted she was justifiably angry with him and described why. As a final point, he mentioned that Ava had been the only person in years to whom he had mentioned anything about his Ph.D. thesis.
“First let me say how very sorry I am this has happened,” Leslie said when Noah fell silent. “Knowing you, I can understand how devastated you are. I’m sure it will be reversed at the advisory meeting. Clearly, from what you have told me, no one has put more of themselves into being a surgical resident than you.”
“I wish I could be so sure,” Noah said, his voice breaking.
“With your record and your level of commitment, it is an inexcusable reason to dismiss you. I’m sure of it. It has to be reversed. I think their motivation is merely to play along with Dr. Mason and make a statement about ethics.”
“I hope you’re right,” Noah said. “It’s possible it was done to humor Dr. Mason. Dr. Hernandez did specifically tell me a week ago that Dr. Mason had to be reckoned with. Well, we’ll have to see. Regardless, I appreciate your sympathy and thoughts.”
“Now for the rest of my response, which I assume you want because you made the effort to call, how honest do you want me to be? I know on our last conversation you weren’t too happy with what I had to say.”
“I need you to be honest,” Noah admitted. “I might not like it, but I need to hear it.”
“I think there is a very good chance that Miss Ava was the source of raising this thesis issue, especially after you telling me how angry she was catching you snooping in her computer.”
“But I apologized profusely,” Noah argued. “It doesn’t seem reasonable she’d do such a thing, even as it smacked of betrayal to her. The punishment doesn’t match the crime, and she hates Dr. Mason, and I believe she truly cares for me. And she knows how much surgery means to me because I think she cares about anesthesia to the same degree.”
“Again, you are asking for my opinion, and I am giving it,” Leslie said gently. “If you listen to this story that you are telling me about this woman, there seems to be a disconnect. You even questioned yourself if she was being manipulative, and she has used this silence routine before. In my mind, I don’t think there is any question. But more to the point, have you asked yourself why she should be so damn sensitive about her computer? I mean, you said you apologized.”
“Good point,” Noah admitted. “I have asked myself that question. I think it has to do with her lobbying for the nutritional-supplement industry, which supports her lifestyle. When she caught me at her computer, I was reading a letter she was in the process of writing to her boss. It was serious stuff advocating dirty tricks associated with the law that keeps the FDA from interfering with the industry. We’re talking about billions of dollars.
“And there is another reason for her to be sensitive about her computer. Incredibly enough, her major social activity is social media. It is a significant part of her identity.”
“You are joking,” Leslie said.
“I’m not,” Noah insisted. “She’s on all forms of social media every day, from Facebook to Twitter to Snapchat to dating sites. She even has a fan page with over a hundred thousand followers.” What he purposefully avoided saying was that she used sockpuppets, except for LinkedIn.
“Noah!” Leslie exclaimed. “What you’re describing is a media-crazed preteen girl inhabiting a grown woman’s body. Are you sure this is a healthy relationship for you?”
“There are extenuating reasons for her interest in social media,” Noah said. He didn’t want to hear where Leslie was going, since it mirrored too closely his own reservations about Ava that he’d been trying to ignore. “She is reluctant to socialize with hospital colleagues, somewhat like myself. And her lobbying job takes her away most weekends, so social media fills a void. She lives in Boston but doesn’t seem to know anyone in particular.”
“I don’t know,” Leslie said with resignation. “I wish I could be more positive about this woman, since you obviously care for her. But I think you should be careful.”
“She also has a history of having been emotionally injured,” Noah said. “She was abandoned by a new husband who was a surgical resident from Serbia who needed a green card. I’ve never been married, but I think I can relate to that.”
There was a pause in the conversation, with the issue of abandonment hanging in the air.
“Is there anything you can do to prepare for the Advisory Board hearing?” Leslie said to change the subject.