“You cannot do that again. And you can’t hook up over here, either.”
I looked up at her, hopeful. “Does that mean you’re not going to tell West?”
She sighed, not looking happy about it. “No, I won’t tell him.” She picked up her drink. “This sucks.”
“I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t want to drag you into this. But can I just tell you how relieved I am that you know? It’s been so hard, keeping it a secret.”
“No one knows?”
“Only you, Astrid, and my friend from back home, Brooke.”
She watched me for a beat. “West is going to figure it out. You’re his sister, and Cooper is his best friend. I saw you two together, and it was just so obvious all of a sudden that something was going on. The look on your face and his — it was written all over both of you. You’ve got to figure something out.”
I chewed my lip. “There’s nothing to figure out. It’ll be over soon. Don’t you think we can keep it a secret until it’s over?”
“If you quit banging all over the place, maybe.”
“Obviously. Two weeks. That’s it.” I looked down at my gin and swirled it around in my glass.
She watched me. “You look a little sad about that for this being ‘easy’ and ‘no big deal.’”
It was the truth, though, and I knew it. I didn’t really want it to end, even though I knew it was exactly what it had to do. “He’s the one little bright spot in my life, and he’s so bright that I almost can’t see any of the bad.”
“Why not date?”
I cackled. “Date? Cooper Moore? I mean, really, Lily. His last name literally means excess.”
“I think it refers to a geographical feature—”
I gave her a flat look.
“—but I get your meaning.”
I shook my head. “Cooper is like the chaser you slam after a shot of cheap vodka. He’s there to wash the taste away after the pain.” I didn’t know how much I believed it, even though that was what I’d been telling myself for weeks. “Anyway, you even just said he’s the opposite of boyfriend material.”
She shrugged. “I’m just wondering if there’s more to it than that.”
“Regardless, I’m sure West would be pleased as punch if I dated Cooper.”
“He’d be happier with a relationship than you guys just banging for fun, I’ll tell you that for sure.”
But I shook my head and dug in my heels. “I can’t date. I can’t. I’m not ready for that. Not to be serious. And not with Cooper. How could he be serious about me when he doesn’t take anything seriously? I did that once, Lily. I did it once, and I will never, ever do it again. I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to date. I don’t want expectations from Cooper, and I don’t want to expect anything from him, either.”
She reached for my hand on the table and squeezed it. “I get it. I’m sorry, Maggie.”
I squeezed her fingers back. “It’s not your fault that I have a type.”
She gave me a comforting smile. “True. If things were different, do you think it could be more?”
“You mean if I weren’t emotionally crippled, if Cooper weren’t a slacker, and if West wouldn’t club Cooper?”
She chuckled and picked up her drink. “Yes.”
I sighed and picked mine up too. “Who knows. None of it’s clear to me.” I took a sip. “Growing up is dumb.”
“The worst.”
“Let’s just make a blanket fort and hang out in there indefinitely.”
She raised her glass. “If there are bacon burgers, I’m in.”
“Bacon burgers and french fries and gin. And ice cream.” My phone vibrated in my purse on the table, and I dug around for it.
Lily’s brow rose. “That’s like the third time that’s gone off.”
It was Cooper. I sighed as I glanced at his messages. “He wants to know if I’m okay.”
“Well,” she said as she stood, “I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to head to West’s.”
I looked up at her, hating that I’d dragged her into the mess. “I’m sorry to ask you to keep this secret.”
“I get the necessity. Trust me. I don’t know if I can lie to him if he asks me outright, though. And I can’t save either of you if he finds out.”
“I know. Do what you have to do. But I swear, you won’t have to hide it from him because Cooper and I will just go underground. No more hanging out with everyone, no more being reckless. And if things get hairy, I promise, I’ll end it. I don’t want to put you out any worse than I already have.”
She looked comforted by that. “All right. And I’ve got your back while I can.”
“Thank you.” I gave her a smile.
“You’re welcome. Now go message pretty boy before he loses his mind.” She bent to give me a hug, saying softly, “It’ll be okay, Maggie.”
“I hope so.”
She pulled away. “It will. I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“My big day!” I cheered.
“Your big day! And it’s going to be amazing.” She grabbed her bag and slung it on. “Sleep tight.”
“You too.”
“Oh, I will.” She leered at me.
I shooed her, laughing. “Get outta here with that.”
“Bye,” she chimed as she closed the door.
I let out a heavy sigh and picked up my phone. There were three texts from Cooper.
She knows, doesn’t she? Are you all right?
I’m so sorry. This is my fault.
Really, I didn’t expect murder from Lily. Hit me up when you can.
I texted him back. I’m all right. She definitely knows. And this isn’t your fault. Are you still at Habits?
Not if I can see you.
Can you call me?
Give me five.
I peeled myself out of the chair and cleaned up the kitchen, then dragged myself into the bathroom to wash my face, thinking about what Lily had said. Having a confidant who knew West just as well as I did was comforting. I needed real advice, someone who knew Cooper and the situation. Astrid had cleared the air, but I didn’t know if we were on the level that I could call her and talk to her about my love life.
I sighed and dried my face, then headed into our room to change into leggings and a tank before slipping into bed. I buried myself in the fluffy covers, pulling them up to my chin with a sigh, worn out from the whole ordeal.
At least I’d bought some time.
My phone rang, and I answered right away, not even caring if I looked desperate.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.”
I want you to come over. “I don’t think I can see you tonight.”
He was quiet for a beat. “I can’t say I’m happy about that. Anything I can do to change your mind?”
I fiddled with the lace on my comforter. “Oh, just erase everything that happened to both of us before I moved here. Can you manage that?”
I must have caught him off guard because he didn’t respond right away. “Possibly. I know a guy.”
I chuckled. “I’m sure you do.”
“What did she say?”
I rolled over to face the room. “She wasn’t happy. She thought you took advantage of me.”
“If she only knew that you were the mastermind behind the whole operation,” he joked.
I laughed at the irony. Talking me into stuff was his best magic trick. “I can’t help the fact that I have needs.”
“Is she going to tell West?”
“She said she wouldn’t.”
“Good. We’ll be more careful.”
I sighed. “God, that was so dumb, Cooper.”
“But so worth it. I couldn’t stand it anymore.”
“Me neither. Next time, let’s just leave.”
“I wish we had just so I’d have you for the night.”
“It’s probably for the best. I can’t stay at your house until three, not when I’ve got to get up early. For work!”