Those eyes. Those eyes would be the end of me.
She shook her head.
“Then it’s decided.” I placed a soft kiss on her lips and sat back down, picking up my chopsticks like everything was normal, like my heart wasn’t hammering against my ribs. I glanced back at her. She was still watching me, though I couldn’t quite place the look on her face.
I shot her The Smile. “You’d better eat that dirty egg roll before I do.”
She picked it up, making a show of taking another bite, and I laughed, trying not to sweat the bullet I’d dodged.
THE SURFACE
Cooper
BOBBY PULLED UP IN FRONT of Astrid’s building that night, and I climbed out to greet her.
She smiled and made her way out from under the awning, her high, black studded heels clicking on the sidewalk. She was dressed in black — tight jeans and a tank, black leather jacket — even her blue eyes were lined in kohl, which made them shades brighter than usual. The only light was her blond hair and creamy skin.
She pressed her cheek to mine as we embraced. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I helped her into the backseat and slipped in behind her. “Take us to Church, Bobby.”
“You got it, Coop.”
“You ready for tonight?” she asked as Bobby pulled away from the curb.
“How can I not be ready to go to a bar called Church?”
She snickered. “I heard it’s all Gothic, and they have these amazing stained glass displays.”
“I love concept clubs, if I have to go out.” I sighed and leaned back. “Is it just me or is this getting harder and harder to bullshit?”
“It’s definitely not you. Think Ash is already there?”
“He’s probably doing body shots off willing girls as we speak.”
She laughed. “Ash is never going to grow up.”
I raised an eyebrow. “He’d say the same about us.”
“Yeah, well, we know better, don’t we?”
I shrugged. “Maybe he’s faking it too.”
We shared a look and burst out laughing.
Astrid shook her head. “Yeah, okay, Ash is definitely not faking it.” She angled toward me in the seat with an accusatory look on her face. “So Lily had an interesting story to tell me today.”
I shifted in my seat, knowing exactly what she was going to say and playing dumb anyway. “What’d she say?”
“Oh, just that you banged Maggie in the bathroom at Habits last night.”
I propped my elbow on the door. “Don’t look at me like that. Do you have any idea how … intense it is to be around her when no one knows we’re together?”
“No, how about you tell me about it.”
“I wish I could. There aren’t words.”
“Lily also said Maggie told her about you and me. I had to explain Sam and everything just to calm her down.”
“I’m sorry, Astrid.”
She sighed and adjusted her bag in her lap. “It’s fine. It actually felt really good to tell her what was going on, even though she was pissed at me for not telling her about him. I think she gets it though. And plus, now she believes all of us.”
“Maggie said she agreed to keep it from West.”
“For now. She’s not going to lie to him. In fact, if he ever finds out about you two, he’s probably going to be pissed at her too.”
“Thanks for piling that on.”
“I’m just saying,” she continued. “This isn’t the simple, easy thing the two of you like to pretend it is. More and more people are getting dragged into it.”
“I know.”
“So what are you going to do? Because you’re eventually going to have to do something.”
“If Maggie has her way, we’ll be through in a couple of weeks.” I sniffed and ran a hand down my tie, feeling uncomfortable.
Her eyebrow raised. “And if you have your way?”
“I don’t know. She suggested ending it tonight, and I didn’t want to.”
She shook her head. “Am I hearing you right? You want to date Maggie? Publicly?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you implied.”
“I don’t know, Astrid. I’m not ready to walk away, not just yet. But I won’t hang you out to dry with Sam.”
She put up a hand. “Listen, if we have to end the charade, it’s fine. I don’t want to stand in the way of something you want just because of my own fucked-up relationship. But I’m just surprised to hear you say you want that much more from Maggie.”
I frowned. “Me too.”
She watched me for a breath. “So what are you going to do? Ride it out the next couple of weeks and then decide? Talk to West?”
I laughed wholeheartedly. “There’s no talking to West. But I might be able to feel him out, see if I can figure out how bad it will be. But I don’t know exactly what to do about Maggie.”
“What are your options?”
“Do nothing. Wait and see. Talk to her. It’s just that I don’t know what to say.”
“You better watch out — you’re gonna spook her.”
I looked down my nose at her, smiling. “You doubt my skills of persuasion? I’m as adept at navigating social situations as I am sea charts and Prague. Which is to say, very good.”
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Easy for you to say. You weren’t just cheated on at the altar.”
I frowned. “It’s been three months. I mean, she seems fine. She never talks about him, doesn’t act like she’s bothered by it.”
Astrid looked at me like I was an idiot. “And you don’t think that’s a front? It seems pretty obvious that her rules are just something for her to hide behind.”
“Of course they are. It’s not like I’m asking her to get married, Astrid. I just don’t want to walk away, but that means we can’t hide. And if we’re going to agree to tell West, then she has to admit that she wants me for more than just a fuck buddy. And then … well, we can just take it day by day. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing otherwise anyway.”
She chuckled. “Isn’t that the truth?” We pulled up to the club, and her smile fell as she looked beyond the window at the people and paparazzi. She took a deep breath and said half to herself, “Here we go.”
Astrid threw open the door and slid out, and I did the same, hurrying around the car to meet her as we were flanked by photographers. Flashes strobed, and Astrid hung on to me as we barreled toward the entrance, though I couldn’t see anything, just followed one of the bouncers toward the door as the rest pushed the paparazzi back.
We stopped just inside the door to adjust to the dark after the visual assault, the bass from the club thumping. I glanced into the club, nodding in appreciation as we walked in.
The vaulted ceiling swept up in pointed arches, the dance floor lined with columns. At the end of the long space was the DJ, the tables standing in front of a massive stained glass display in a seemingly random pattern. But as I watched, I realized it was changing, moving slowly. It was a screen. I shook my head, smiling.
Astrid pulled me toward the bar in the main club.
“Where are we going?” I yelled over the music.
She pointed to the bar. “Bastian.”
I glanced over to find Bastian leaning against the bar, blond and muscular, smiling bright and looking dapper as fuck in slate pants and a white tailored shirt. He smoothed his tie and pushed off the bar to greet us. He was one of Astrid’s closest friends and a dancer with Lily at the New York City Ballet.
“Hey, bitch.” He kissed Astrid on the cheek.
“Hey, whore.” She kissed him back. “I’m glad you came.”