Dad smirked. “Jillian from W said your shoot went really well.”
“Of course she did.” I chuckled. The waitress approached and asked me what I’d like to drink. “I’ll have what he’s having.” She nodded and disappeared.
He shook his head, amused. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
I snickered. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s a real shock that I didn’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you, but Jillian’s considering putting you on the cover.”
I thought about West seeing it at the grocery store and sighed.
Mom laughed at me and propped her elbow on the table. “Why in the world did you agree to it if you didn’t want anyone to know?”
“How does one turn down an offer of that sort? I was surprised and flattered. Just didn’t think it all the way through, I guess. Apparently their definition of ‘eligible’ has little to do with actual drive and motivation.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Coop,” Dad said. “You’re driven and motivated when you have purpose. Like sailing, or chess, or building Lego models when you were a kid. Purpose, driven by something that fulfills you. That’s really what it boils down to.”
“Is it that simple?” I asked genuinely.
Mom shrugged and picked up her glass of wine. “It’s that simple and that impossible.” She took a sip.
I shook my head, feeling out of place. It was a more and more common feeling these days. “I don’t know why you let me do this.”
Mom’s brow quirked. “Do what?”
“Nothing. Do nothing, all day.”
Dad shifted and hung his arm on the back of Mom’s chair. “Because you’re smart. You have respect for others, and you want more from life than what you’re living. So we’re giving you room to grow.”
She patted his hand that rested on the table, smiling at me. “Don’t get your father wrong. We want you to figure out what you’re going to do with your life. But we’ve seen our friends try to browbeat their kids into submission. It doesn’t work, and they all end up hating each other in the end. We can’t force your hand, not when you can’t even see your own cards.”
Dad nodded. “Honestly, we don’t care what you end up doing, Coop. You could make pottery or give surf lessons in Cancun to spring breakers, if that’s what you really want.”
I laughed, and Mom smiled at me. “We were pretty sure that might be a legitimate career path for you, at one point.”
He was smirking again, his long face amiable. “The point is that as long as you’re happy, we’re happy. I’d love nothing more than for you to come and work with me. You’ve got the brains for it, and you’d be good at it — when you interned at Moore & Co in college, we all saw it. You enjoyed it, even though I knew then that you weren’t ready to commit. My father built something powerful, and he passed that on to me. I want to pass it on to you, but I’m not going to force feed you. You’ll figure it out. Just see if you can do it before you’re forty, all right?”
I chuckled, feeling relieved and more pressured somehow all at once. “I’ll see what I can do.”
The waitress brought my drink, and we ordered dinner. Mom leaned on the table as the waitress left. “Oh, I meant to tell you — Maggie Williams is running our reading program at the shelter.”
My heart jolted at the mention of her name, and I smiled. “I heard.”
“She’s fantastic, Cooper. Her program is going to help engage the kids, show them how much joy reading can bring them. She’s only been with us for a few days, and Susan has just been raving about her. We’ve wanted someone for this spot for a long time, and now that we have her, I don’t know how we ever survived without her.”
I knew the feeling.
“I’m campaigning for Susan to offer her a permanent paid position. And, God, if she’s not the most adorable little thing. All that hair, and that smile. I think she had the entire male residency trying to make sure she was comfortable, even Brian, our chef. That boy is usually unflappable, but she had him swooning.”
I took a long sip of my drink, feeling twitchy. “What’s his story?”
Her eyes narrowed, though her smile was still in place. “Why do you ask?”
Dad was eyeballing me too.
I wondered if I’d completely lost my touch or if it was only in matters related to Maggie in which I couldn’t keep my shit together. “No reason. I heard he’d been hitting on her is all.” I didn’t sound nearly as casual as I’d wanted.
“Are you seeing her?” he asked curiously.
I huffed and made a face, scrambling for an answer.
“You are,” Mom said simply.
“Or he wants to,” Dad added.
My ears were hot. “Why are we talking about Maggie and me?”
“Oh, he really wants to.” She nudged him.
“What’s the story, Coop?”
I ran a hand over my mouth and picked up my drink. “I’m seeing her, and it’s complicated.”
“Because of West?” he asked.
“And because of Maggie. She’s been through a lot. The wedding was only a few months ago, and I think she’s just skittish. She says not ready for anything serious.”
Dad’s eyebrow rose. “And you are?”
I took a sip, following the burn as it dove through my chest. “I don’t know.”
“What do you know?” Mom asked.
I was overcome with honesty, sitting across from my parents, whom I trusted more than anyone. And so I answered the question I’d been avoiding at all costs. “All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about her or wanting to be with her. She makes me laugh, makes me happy. But she said the other day that I couldn’t be serious about anything, and I think that she believes that if I’m not serious, we can’t be serious. Maybe she’s right.”
Dad shook his head. “Purpose, Cooper. When you find purpose, it changes everything.”
“I’ve never felt this way, Dad. I have no idea what I’m doing or what to do next.”
He smiled. “None of us ever do. Here’s the secret to life: figure out what you want and then go get it. Everything falls in line with that.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
Mom smiled. “That simple, and that impossible.”
Servers appeared with our food, and the conversation veered to topics less invasive. My mind was on Maggie.
Purpose. A reason. A spark to light up my gray life, make me want more.
Was it her?
I wanted to show her everything, give her everything. I wanted to prove to her that what I said was true. I wanted her to believe me, believe in me. I needed her to.
When I thought back over the past few weeks, I realized that she wasn’t a spark. She was a wildfire.
I excused myself, my chest burning as I made my way to the restroom. I leaned over the sink and splashed cold water on my face, closed my eyes with my palms on the granite, listening to the slow drop of water from my nose as it hit the porcelain sink.
I wanted her. She needed to know that I was serious. So I needed to show her.
When I looked back up at my reflection, there were no more questions. There was no more indecision. I knew exactly what to do.
Maggie had better watch out. Because I was coming for her.
Maggie
My face was half-smushed into a pillow as I tried to catch my breath that night. Cooper kissed a trail down my back, and I blinked slow, smiling.
“I dunno how you do that to me,” I said mostly into the pillow.
“Hmm?”
I shifted, and he moved so I could roll over — when I saw his smile, I couldn’t stop my own. “Nothin’.”
He climbed up my body and lay on top of me. “Have any plans this weekend?” He brushed my crazy hair out of my face.
“No, why?”
“Come sailing with me.”
I blinked, not knowing what to say. “What will I tell West?”
“The truth. Tell him you have a date.”
I gave him a flat look. “Cooper.”
He gave me one right back. “Maggie.”