“It’s a beautiful machine. I got it instead of a car.” She couldn’t help but smile. She already really liked working with Nate and Cam. They were the dysfunctional brothers she’d never had. “I’ll bring up the instruction manual and try to show them how before shift change tonight. And why don’t we just hire another deputy? Aren’t those guys really from Creede?”
Cam’s eyes moved toward the empty desk. The one she wasn’t allowed to clean out. The one time she’d tried to go through it, she’d gotten yelled at. They kept that desk like a shrine to the person who used to sit at it. “They’re just filling in on the nights when Nate and I both have off. Sometimes Rafe does it and Rye Harper takes a turn. Logan’s coming back. He just needs some time. He’s on sabbatical.”
Gemma felt her eyebrows creep up. Finally, someone who wasn’t perfectly adjusted. “Where I come from, a sabbatical means someone’s gone a little crazy.”
Cam’s face went cold, and Gemma knew she’d stepped into a whole pile of shit. “He’s not crazy. And he’s coming back.” Cam turned, his shoulders locked, dismissal evident.
Yep. She’d screwed up. Now was the time to simply turn back to her work. It wasn’t her fault the deputy had his panties in a wad. She’d made a dumb joke. How was she supposed to know this mysterious Logan person had actually gone crazy and gotten sent away to some sort of rest facility? Cam joked all the time. He made fun of her.
And Gemma could have told him his ears were too big and Cam would have played along. But Cam wouldn’t let her joke about this mysterious Logan. Logan was his friend. Cam protected him even from dumb jokes.
Jesse McCann was a stupid bastard who was having way too much of an effect on her life. She could actually hear him telling her to reach out and apologize, to make things nice between her and Cam again.
Every day he’d shown up at the station house. Twice he’d taken her to Stella’s and eaten lunch with her. Twice he’d shown up and sat in the break room and had a cup of coffee. Once he’d brought her a lunch Cade had cooked. Homemade lasagna that made Cam’s stomach rumble and Nate sniff around asking if there was more. Did Cade know she’d eaten his food? He might not have liked it. He might have been creeped out by the fact that the whole time she’d eaten that delicious lasagna, she’d wondered if he’d cooked it in the buff. She’d had a vision of Cade in an apron with a spatula in his hand, and she’d gotten freaky excited.
Only once had Cade accompanied his partner. They had both shown up with ice cream cones. Chocolate, mint chocolate chip, and rocky road. No vanilla for those boys. They’d given her first pick. They’d sat on the front steps and ate while she and Jesse talked and she and Cade stared at each other.
And Jesse had kept up his eternal lectures on politeness and friendship and damn it, Cam was kind of her friend. She’d worked for years at Giles and Knoxbury and didn’t consider a single person there her friend, but one week in a craptastic jailhouse and she was soft on everyone.
“I, uh, kind of assaulted a woman. That’s why I got fired.” The words were out of her mouth before she could call them back. Apology by way of confession.
Cam turned, a half smile on his face. “I know. I saw the YouTube video. You have a killer left hook, by the way.”
Gemma flushed. “Damn it. I knew that nosy neighbor had a camera. Anyway, all I was trying to say is, I understand the need for a sabbatical. I wasn’t making judgments. I come off that way, but I’m really not. I’ve screwed up enough that I can’t judge anyone. I got put on a seventy-two-hour psych hold. They were just going to take me to jail, but I cried and talked about hanging myself with my Chanel bag and, sure enough, I got three days at Bellevue before they decided I was just neurotic and not crazy.”
There was a little snort from the deputy. “Yeah, we sent Logan to Dallas to get his shit together. He was a little out of control. But he’s going to come back and you’ll like him.”
She probably would. She would, at the very least, understand him. And she envied him. When she’d lost control, she’d lost everything. When Logan had done it, he still had a job and friends waiting on him. And she’d kind of like to meet him. Was she really considering sticking around here? No. But maybe for a while. Maybe she could view Bliss as her psych ward. Take six months and recover and then reclaim her real life. She liked the sound of that. And if she had some raucous sex in the meantime, good for her.
Cam gestured to the front door. “Your other stalker is here. And he’s brought a friend.”
Sure enough, she stood and could see Jesse walking toward the double doors. And Cade was right behind him. Her heart nearly skipped a beat. She had to stop this teenager crush thing she had going. It was silly. She actually wanted to run to the bathroom and make sure her hair was fixed.
Nate came to the door of his office, lazily leaning against the side. “Your friends here again?”
Dear god, he was kind of like her disapproving father. “I didn’t invite them.”
“Yes she did.”
She turned to Cam. “Did not.”
“She did that giggling thing girls do when they’re totally into a guy. And she practically blew her ice cream cone yesterday. It was so gross. She was licking and practically inhaling it.”
She had the strongest urge to smack him. “That’s not true. I just hadn’t had ice cream in a long time. And it wasn’t gross.”
“He wouldn’t have thought it was gross if Laura did it,” Nate pointed out.
“Laura’s hot. Gemma’s, well, she’s Gemma.”
And she’d tried to spare his feelings why? She flipped him the bird. “Screw you, Cam.”
The doors opened at just the perfect moment to have Jesse catch her cussing at Cam while she flipped him off. Jesse’s whole face darkened, his mouth turning down. Cade just shook his head like he’d always known she would be that way.
Nate sighed. “Don’t look at her that way, you two. Cam was being an ass. He deserved it.”
Cam looked back and forth between them. “I can’t help it. I can’t find her hot. She’s like my little sister.”
Jesse’s focus went right to Cam. “Keep it that way.”
Nate leaned over and whispered. “Tell him. He’s going to find out.” Nate had been on her for days to tell Jesse and Cade what was going on. He straightened back up. “You two have her back in an hour.”
Nate walked away. Cam winked her way and then walked off to the break room, leaving her alone with a still-frowning Jesse and Cade. Jesse stared at her, obviously expecting some sort of explanation. Cade just waited as though he’d just been hanging around because she was going to screw up at some point in time.
She felt so stupid. She’d been comfortable all morning long. She was even fine with the little fights with Cam. They felt good, like she was really connecting and finding a weird little place for herself, but now she just felt dumb again. She’d been fooling herself. She couldn’t live up to whatever Jesse seemed to expect from her. She sat back down at her desk and tried to give them a calm smile.
“Was there something I can help you with? I really can’t go out to lunch. I have a lot to do.”
“Nate just said you have an hour.” Jesse loomed over her. She could smell the aftershave he’d used. His face was clean right now, but by afternoon that sexy beard of his would make an appearance. The one time she’d hugged him, his beard had scraped against her skin, a delicious sensation.
But she was already too crazy about him, and when he figured out she wouldn’t get with his game plan, he would move on to a more acceptable female. It was better to get out with her pride intact. “I think I’ll skip lunch today. I have to go through all of Nate’s mail and book his travel for the big conference.”