“They called me Mouse. When I was little, they ignored me. When I got bigger, they liked to make fun of me. And they always loved to kick me when I was down. I often had something in my eyes. It’s hard. Even now it’s hard to think about it.”
There they were again. Stupid tears. She didn’t have a group of girlfriends she could talk to. She’d never really had a group. When she’d been younger, her parents had moved so often, she’d never formed strong friendships. Later, she’d concentrated on school because it was so much easier.
At the time she thought she was taking the hard road, eschewing the normal rituals, but now she wondered. Homework didn’t require emotional finesse. Homework never broke her heart.
“She’s right, you know.” Hope put a hand on her arm. “You really are safe here. We haven’t met, but I talk to Cam all the time, and he thinks you’re great. Cam and Nate are crazy about you. I did my job, but I admit I wasn’t like some gung ho girl. I felt really bad when Cam started bragging about all the things you’re doing at the station.”
Beth gave her friend a half hug. “You were worried about your crazy ex.”
Hope shook her head. “It wasn’t that. Well, not altogether. I never took on big projects like she has. And she’s so good with Mel. I’ll admit, he scared me at first.”
Gemma snorted a little. Mel was so not scary. “He was a little freaked out that the Trading Post couldn’t get fresh beets in. Apparently the ones at Jack’s in Del Norte are actually an alien ploy. So I found a co-op through Nell, and I called in an alien expert to pronounce the beets both organic and alien-free. Don’t look at me like it was some big thing. The alien expert is from Durango. I got him to come out by promising to buy one of his books. The Bliss County Library is now the proud owner of Alvin Marple’s Aliens and Us: The Truth About Roswell, Area 51, and The Today Show. Apparently he’s sure NBC is run by Reticulan Grays.”
Beth grinned, her hand over her belly. “See, you fit right in. Now you don’t have to tell us anything, but we’re here if you want to talk.”
“Full disclosure,” Hope said, holding her hands up. “I happen to know you’re sort of getting involved with Jesse and Cade, and you should know that I adore them. They saved my husbands’ lives a while back, but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you bitch about them. Even heroes can be jerks.”
“They saved someone?” Jesse had mentioned why they’d come to Bliss, but he’d left out that part.
Hope’s eyes got a little misty. “Oh, yes. My ex had sent some men to kill Jamie and Noah, but Jesse and Cade intervened. They risked themselves. They’re good men, Gemma. You couldn’t do any better. Now, how did they totally screw up? Because that look on your face isn’t about some job or the town. That’s a ‘man done me wrong’ face.”
Beth nodded her friend’s way. “Hope would know. Several men have done her wrong. At least one is dead. She can advise you.”
Gemma deeply envied their obvious closeness. What if she could find a little of that for herself? Was it worth taking the risk? “We’ve just been sort of dating. Nothing serious until last night. I still don’t think it’s serious with Cade. He told me he just wants sex.”
Hope laughed. “Yeah, that’s what Caleb told Holly. He’s engaged now. Men lie, Gemma. Well, maybe they don’t lie, but they aren’t very smart. Go on.”
“I didn’t think they needed to know that I’ve gotten a couple of letters.”
“Why would they need to know about your mail?” Beth asked.
Hope sent her a look. “I doubt she’s talking about junk mail.”
“I consider it junk. In my former line of work, we get people who don’t like us and threatening letters happen.”
Beth whistled. “I got the spanking of a lifetime for doing the very same thing. I know it seems reasonable to keep them out of it, but it isn’t worth the fight. You have to tell them.”
She wished she’d had the chance to tell them. “Nate told them. And then they tricked me into admitting I should have told them without telling me what I should be telling them and they made me scream with my mom in the next room. Not an angry scream, if you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I would kill Noah and James if they did that.”
Beth shrugged. “Trev would have done me the courtesy of offering me a gag. He has several. But let me ask you something, Gemma. Have you been casual about them all this time? Really think to yourself. Were you just kind of seeing them because you had nothing better to do or were you interested?”
She’d been interested. If she was really honest with herself, she’d been interested from the moment she saw them. Her heart had done a little flutter when she’d walked into the shop. Cade had been male perfection, and Jesse was so bad-boy-biker hot she’d hardly been able to stand it. She remembered her first thought had been to wonder if they were taken and how nice it would be to fall into a typical Bliss relationship. “I was serious. I am serious. But it’s complicated.”
She had a chance to go back to New York and rebuild her career. She couldn’t give that up. Could she?
Hope leaned over and gave her a hug. It was…nice. No fakey hugs from Hope Glen-Bennett. She pulled Gemma close and squeezed her. “You need to decide what you want. But you were wrong. You should have told them. If they care about you, even a little, then imagine how they feel right now knowing that you didn’t tell them. Knowing that Nate and Cam have been doing the job that should be theirs.”
She didn’t completely understand this. It was some code that was foreign to her. Maybe it would be best to pack up and leave with Patrick right away, but she knew she couldn’t. She would have to see them. Talk to them.
Figure out what she wanted.
“Thanks,” she whispered, her arms embracing Hope.
Beth smiled when Hope let Gemma go, her arms coming up. “Me, too! Hope and I were just talking about the fact that we need another girlfriend. Everyone’s in packs of threes. But Lucy works so much she can never go out with us. And she hates game night. You can be on our team.”
“Don’t let it scare you,” Hope said. “It’s mostly a way for the women to get together and drink. Although Beth won’t be doing that for a while. And neither will Jen Talbot. She’s only been pregnant for a few months, but she’s already cranky about missing cocktails.”
Beth winked as she pulled back. “I’m just glad I have someone to go through it with.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a card, pressing it to Gemma’s hand. “You call me if you need anything. Or if you just want to talk. I hope you stay.”
“You’re okay?” Hope asked.
She was as okay as she could be. “Yes.” She was going to have to swallow her pride and talk to Jesse and Cade before she made any real decisions. And she had to deal with Patrick. “I’m good. And thank you for the talk.”
She followed them out, kind of wishing she could sit down with them instead of dealing with her ex. She looked at him. His salad was in front of him, but he was attempting to talk on his cell.
“It’s going to be fine. Yes. We’ll be back in a couple of days. Don’t worry about it. You told me to get this done and I’ll do it. I just need time. Yes, I know what’s at stake.” He looked up and his eyes flared. “I’ll have to call you later.” His expression was right back to that smooth smile he plastered on his face at every client meeting. “Big case.”
There was always a big case. She sat down and looked at her salad. She really didn’t want it. She wanted a burger and fries and maybe a vanilla shake. Hal made perfect vanilla shakes. She picked up the fork in front of her and forced herself to eat a bite of ham and lettuce.
“Gemma,” Patrick’s voice went soft, his eyes huge in his face. “Gemma, babe, don’t panic.”