Except she walked right up to him and wrapped her damn arms around him, snuggling her head against his chest. “When they told me you’d been arrested, I was so worried about you.”
Worried about him? She was the one who’d almost died. And he didn’t understand a Gemma who didn’t spit and claw like a riled-up cat. Shouldn’t she be mad? “Gemma? Are you okay? What did the doctors say?”
Jesse moved behind Gemma, his eyes finding Cade’s. He frowned, but Cade couldn’t tell what was going through his head.
“I’m fine. Mom and Naomi drove me home, but we went to the station first. They told us that you were cleared and Pat was gone, so no one has to kill him, but we need to figure out why my sad-sack, scared-of-his-own-shadow ex would try to kill me. I don’t want to do that tonight, though.”
He stopped. “Kill you? I thought it was an accident.”
Her chin came up. “Do you honestly believe I would steal his fork?”
Gemma was a little OCD. When he’d cooked what seemed like a week’s worth of food earlier, he’d made damn sure every single dish was sparkling clean. She might not dust the bookshelves, but her kitchenware was immaculate. Even when she never used it. His heart rate started to speed up.
She sighed. “There it is. Did you know you get this little tic over your right eye when you get mad?” Her fingers brushed the place, as though trying to soothe him.
“I never had it before I met you.” Gemma had given him a damn tic. And it wasn’t just when he was mad, though he was pretty freaking mad right now. Before he went off to drink himself to death, he would find that fucker, force a goddamn fork into some soft part of him, and then the asshole would know how wrong it had been to mess with Cade Sinclair’s girl.
Because even though he was leaving, she would always be his girl.
“Stop. I know what you’re thinking, but this is going to require more thought than just beating the crap out of him.” She pulled away just a bit. “I don’t want to think about Pat anymore tonight. I want you to come outside with me.” She pulled on his hand, and he wondered if she hadn’t been damaged by the whole “poisoning by strawberry” incident. He’d cooked her a week’s worth of food, carefully avoiding anything that looked like a berry.
She grasped his hand, tugging him out.
“Gemma, baby, I need to talk to you before I go.” He just had a few things to say to her and then he would leave her to Jesse.
She utterly ignored him, walking toward her front door.
Cade looked at Jesse. “What’s going on?”
“No idea, but I’m going along with it.” Jesse followed them out the door. “Gemma and I have completely different ideas on how you should behave when someone tries to kill her.”
Cade tried to stop. “I still don’t completely understand that.”
“She’ll explain it later.” Jesse followed them. “She’s not up on our vigilantism. I already tried. Tonight, we just need to let it be. Tomorrow we can talk, my brother.”
The fact that Jesse was still calling him brother gave him a deep sense of peace. It didn’t change what he needed to do, but he felt better about it. Jesse had done the right thing. Cade had lost it, proving once again that he didn’t deserve joy and happiness.
Jesse continued, “Tonight, just follow her. She’s made some crazy breakthrough. I would spank her ass, but I saw her all bloated and near dead and I’m just happy she’s here. I can’t fucking Dom her tonight. I just want to hold her. I just want to think we can work.”
She kept pulling at him, drawing him out. He should pull away, but he couldn’t let her hand go. He knew he should, but he just held her tighter as she walked on to her porch and then to the grass. She turned the porch light off, sending the entire yard into complete gloom. Darkness pervaded. Black was everywhere and still he followed her.
“Look up.”
He pulled back, trying to get her to stop. They needed to talk. He needed to explain to her why he should leave. It was the only thing to do. He would get on his bike and head out, leaving her to Jesse, who could love her with a whole heart with no crazy fucking violent rage between them.
She let go of his hand, the loss of her warmth a deep sadness in his soul. She walked away from him, turned, and laid her body down on the grass, turning her face up. A look of wonder crossed her face. “Look up. I never look up. I wouldn’t think to. Up didn’t matter, but look at it. Tell me that doesn’t matter. Tell me that is meaningless.”
She might have gone over the edge. Gemma almost always rode that fine line between perfectly normal and neurotic nut job, and nearly dying seemed to have pushed her over.
“Gemma, baby, I only hung around so I could make sure you were okay. I need to go. I’m not good for you.”
But she was staring up. Jesse got to the ground and lay down beside her in the grass. A chill ran across his skin. It was damn cold, and she’d been sick, and she was lying in the grass in the middle of the night.
“You can leave tomorrow,” she said, a smile on her face. “Please stay with me tonight. Come on, Cade. I just want one night. I want you to lie down and look up with me.”
Frustration welled. Stay with her? Didn’t she know how hard it was to leave her? Couldn’t she see that the last few hours had been a living hell? He wanted to get it over with, to move on with his life. But he couldn’t deny her. He couldn’t look at those big, bright eyes and get on his bike and drive off. He sighed and gave in, getting to his knees and sinking down on his back beside her.
And he saw what she was talking about. A million stars blanketed the sky, brighter than anything he’d seen. They twinkled and winked like diamonds. He found himself staring up, wondering how he’d never seen it before.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Gemma’s voice was a contented sigh. She reached out, linking her hand to his, pulling it over her heart. He felt another hand there. Jesse’s. She held both hands over her heart.
“Of course it’s beautiful. It’s Colorado. Do either of you look around?” Jesse grumbled a little, but Cade could feel him clutching Gemma’s hand. “Am I the only one who smells the freaking roses? Gemma, baby, you like lists. Well, you’ve got to spend the next couple of days resting, and I’m going to make sure you really look around and see the place we’ve been blessed with.”
Jesse was right. Cade didn’t look around. Not really. He didn’t just stop and stare at the beauty around him. During the day he worked, and at night he partied. He hadn’t spent a ton of time looking around at the mountains and the stars above. In many ways, he’d been as single-minded as Gemma, focusing on how to have fun and keep the ghosts at bay.
He looked back up at those night lights. Millions of miles away. Some were dead already, their light a mere beacon, proof that once the star had lived. Some still-thriving suns. Those stars were always there, always above him, but the harsh light of the sun masked their existence. In the city, they were tiny, insignificant things, covered up by human lights, but here Cade could see the infinite.
He stared up. It should make him feel small, but somehow, with Gemma’s hand in his, those stars above gave him comfort.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
Cade turned his head. It was pitch black, but he could see Gemma’s face, the curve of her cheek, the stubborn tilt of her chin. He rolled toward her. The stars were beautiful, but she was gorgeous. He laid his head close to her shoulder and just let himself be still for a moment.
One more night. He could handle one more night. And then he would go. He was still bad for her.