By the flicker of distaste in Chiun's eyes, Remo could tell the waiter was returning. Remo watched him in a mirror over the entrance way, walking angrily back down the floor toward them, three dinner plates extended up his arm.
He stopped alongside the table, and placed one in front of Remo. "For you, sir."
He placed the second in front of Mei Soong. "And for the lovely lady."
He dropped the third one on the table in front of Chiun, and it splashed small drops on the table top.
"If we were to return in one year," Chiun said, "these drippings would still be here. Chinese, you know, never wash tables. They wait for earthquake or flood to jar dirt loose. It is the same with their bodies."
The waiter walked away, back toward the kitchen.
Mei Soong squeezed Remo's leg between both of hers under the table. As women always do in such situations.to disclaim ownership of the brazen legs, she began to chatter incongruously.
"It looks good," she said. "I wonder if it is Cantonese or Mandarin."
Chiun sniffed the plate containing the usual jellied mass of colorless vegetables. "Mandarin," he said, "because it smells like dog. Cantonese smells like bird droppings."
"A people who would eat raw fish should not cavil at civilization," she said, spooning vegetables into her mouth.
"Is it civilized to eat birds' nests?"
They were on again. But Remo paid no attention to them. In the overhead mirror, he could see back through the round door windows into the kitchen where the waiter stood, talking to the young man who had spotted them on the street. The man was gesturing, and as Remo watched, he snapped his fatigue cap off his head and slapped it across the waiter's face.
The waiter nodded and almost ran back through the swinging doors. As he passed their table, he mumbled under his breath.
"What did he say?" Remo asked Chiun. Chiun was still playing with his spoon in the vegetables. "He called me pig."
As Remo watched, the waiter picked up the phone in front and dialed. Just three digits. A long one and two shorts. It was the emergency number of the New York City police.
But why the cops? Unless he had been told to try to separate the girl from Remo and Chiun? What better way than to have the police grab them and spirit the girl off in the shuffle? Remo couldn't hear the waiter's words whispered into the phone, but he leaned over and whispered to Chiun. "We're going to have to split up. You get the girl back to the hotel. Make sure you're not followed. Stay with her. No calls, no visitors and don't open the door for anyone but me." Chiun nodded.
"Come on, we're going," Remo said to the girl, disengaging his leg from between hers. "But I haven't finished."
"We'll get a dragon bag to take it home." The police might be helpful. It might set it up so that any contact with the girl would have to come through Remo.
They walked to the front counter, where the waiter was just hanging up the phone.
"But you haven't had your tea?" he said. "We're not thirsty."
"But your cookies?"
Remo leaned across the counter and grabbed his arm, above the elbow. "You want to hear your fortune? If you try to stop us from going out that door, you'll have a busted rib. Can your inscrutable mind fathom that?"
He reached into his pocket and tossed a ten dollar bill onto the glass counter. "Keep the change."
Remo led the way down the flight of stone stairs into the street. At their appearance, the five men in the field jackets, who had been lounging against the building across the street, started to walk toward them.
At the bottom of the stairs, Remo told Chiun, "You can go through that alley at the end of the street and grab a cab. I'll catch up to you later."
Remo stepped off the curb into the street, as Chiun took Mei Soong roughly by the arm and started walking off to the right, toward the Bowery. Remo had only to cover him long enough for him to reach the alley. There was no way anyone could catch up to Chiun in darkness, even with the girl as excess baggage.
Just then, the waiter stepped onto the top step and shouted, "Stop, thief!" The five men looked up at him, momentarily. Remo looked over his shoulder to his right. Chiun and the girl were gone. Vanished. As if the earth had opened and swallowed them.
The five young Chinese also saw that their target had vanished. They looked up and down the street, then dumbly at each other, then as if to take out their rage on something, they charged Remo.
Remo was careful not to hurt them. When the police arrived, he did not want the street cluttered with bodies. Too many complications. So he just moved in among them, dodging their punches and kicks. The waiter was still screaming at the top of the stairs.
Just then, a prowl car turned onto the narrow street. Its whirling red lamp shot slices of light along the buildings on either side of the street. The young Chinese saw it, and they took to their heels, toward the end of the street and the narrow alley where a car could not follow them.
The police car pulled up alongside Remo and stopped with a squeal of tires on the cobblestone street.
As the two policemen jumped out onto the street, the waiter shouted to them: "That's him. Hold him. Don't let him get away."
The two policemen stood alongside Remo. "What's it all about, mac?" one of them said. Remo looked at him. He was young and blond and still a little frightened. Remo knew the feeling; he had experienced it in those early days on the force. Back when he was alive.
"Damned if I know. I came out of the restaurant and five thugs jumped me. And now he's yelling like a lunatic."
The waiter had walked up alongside the three of them now, still careful to keep back from Remo. "He hit me," he said, "and ran off without paying the bill. Those young men heard me yelling and tried to stop him. I want to press charges."
"I guess we'll have to take you in," the second policeman said. He was older, a veteran with patches of gray hair at the temples under his cap.
Remo shrugged. The waiter smiled.
The older policeman steered Remo into the back seat of the squad car, while the younger officer helped the waiter close up.
They returned to the car and slid into the front seat, while the older cop sat in beside Remo. Remo noticed that he sat with his gun side away from Remo. Standard procedure, but it was good to know that there were still some professional policemen around.
The precinct house was only a few blocks away. Remo was marched in between the two policemen and stood in front of the long oak desk, reminiscent of all those he had stood in front of himself with prisoners in tow.
"Assault case, Sergeant," the older patrolman said to the baldheaded officer behind the desk. "We didn't see it.
Do you have one of the squad around to handle it? We want to get back before that festival breaks up."
"Give them to Johnson in back. He's free," the sergeant said.
Remo wanted to hang around long enough to make sure the police had a record of his address. So he could be traced. Long ago, he had been given two authorized ways of dealing with an arrest.
He could do whatever physical had to be done. Of course, that was out of the question, since he was willingly going to leave his name and address, and he didn't need 30,000 cops looking for him at his hotel.
Or, the other way, he was allowed one phone call. He could call the number in Jersey City.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jean Boffer Esq., 34 years old and a millionaire twice over, sat on the brown plush sofa in his penthouse living room, looking across the 71 square yards of lime green carpeting that had been laid that afternoon.
He had taken off his purple knit jacket and carefully removed from its inside pocket the little electronic beeper that was to signal him whenever his private telephone line was ringing.