“Right,” I said with a sigh. “That.” Nothing like the prospect of violent death to keep you awake. “It depends on whether the annuller broke their tracking ability. If it did, they’ll have to figure out a new way to pick us up.”
“Actually, what I meant was whether you know we’re safe here,” Anne said. “With your magic.”
“I’ve been looking nonstop since we left the train,” I said. “I haven’t seen any sign of them finding us here but that doesn’t mean they can’t find us, it just means they’re not doing it right now. If some of them were hurt in that crash they’ve probably pulled back to regroup.”
“Do you think they’re okay?”
I shook my head. “Anne, I swear, only you would worry about something like that.”
Anne was silent. “I’m not sure,” I said. “I think they got off the carriage before it hit.”
“What if they didn’t?”
“I don’t know.”
“Alex?” Anne said. She was looking at me with those odd reddish eyes of hers. “What you said on the train, about killing someone? Did you mean it?”
I looked off into the corner of the gym. “Yes.”
Anne sat quietly. I knew she was deciding what to ask next and the question I was afraid of was how many. Somehow I knew that no matter how I answered, it wouldn’t lead to anything good.
“You feel like you’re on the same side as people like Will, don’t you?” Anne said.
I looked at Anne in surprise, then nodded. “Pretty much. You know what’s really screwed up about all this? If Will’s lot had just come into my shop asking for help defending themselves against Dark mages, I’d probably have said yes.” I sighed. “And Will might be trying to kill me, but a lot of what he’s saying is right. Mages do treat adepts badly. And if I were his age and in his position, I’m not a hundred percent sure I’d be doing anything different.”
“What about now?”
I shrugged. “When you’re twenty you’re all about action. You want to change things. If you make it to thirty you learn about consequences. Will’s lot haven’t learnt that yet. But then the reason they’re after me is because of the crap I did when I was twenty . . .” I raked my hand through my hair. “Damn it. I don’t know what to do.”
“There has to be some way,” Anne said.
“Right now I don’t know what it is,” I said. “Will’s lot might be stupid and they might not care about consequences, but that doesn’t make them less dangerous; it makes them more dangerous. And as long as they’re together I don’t think I can beat them.”
“You’re not on your own, though,” Anne said. “You’ve got me and Luna and Vari.”
“So Vari should burn them to death?” I said. “Luna should curse them and have a bullet bounce into their head? Is that what you mean?”
Anne looked away. “No.”
I looked at Anne curiously. “Other people really matter to you, don’t they?”
Anne was silent. “You know, Will was willing to kill you back there,” I said. “He would have tried to get around you, but if you’d made him choose between shooting you and letting me get away, he would have shot you.”
“I know.”
“But you still don’t want to hurt him.”
Anne stayed quiet for a little longer this time. “Do you know what I see when I look at someone?”
I shook my head.
“Everything,” Anne said. “Their movements, their nerves, the play of their muscles and skin . . . It’s like a tapestry of green light, layer on layer. Every part connects to every other part and everything works together. Even when it’s hurt it works to repair itself.” Anne’s voice was quiet, and she was watching me as she spoke; I knew she was trying to make me understand. “That’s all I do, when I use my magic. Your body wants to heal; I just give it a little help. Watching it rebuilding, growing . . . It’s beautiful. I can’t imagine ever wanting to hurt it. I know what Will and his friends were trying to do. But . . . even then, I don’t want them hurt.”
I was silent. “You don’t want to hurt them either, do you?” Anne said. “That’s why you’re trying to talk to them.”
“We don’t always get what we want.”
“But there are other ways,” Anne said. “You might find something in Richard’s mansion, or in Deleo’s memories. You’re not going to try to kill them. Are you?”
I hesitated. Anne was looking right at me, those odd reddish eyes searching mine, and I felt trapped. I wanted to say no, but somewhere inside me a darker, more cynical voice was warning me not to make promises I might not be able to keep . . . “No,” I said.
I felt Anne relax. We sat quietly for a while, watching the sunlight move across the wall.
By the time I was sure Will’s lot weren’t pursuing, it was too late to go back to sleep, and I wouldn’t have felt safe doing it anyway. A quick check confirmed that the police were still swarming over my shop, so I told Anne to meet up with Variam and Luna. “Do you want me to come with you?” Anne asked. We were a couple of streets away from my shop, near Camden Market.
I shook my head. “You’ve risked your life for me once today already. Besides, the more people we have, the more chance one of us is going to set something off.”
Anne nodded, then to my surprise gave me a quick hug. I flinched slightly—it had been so long since anyone had done that, it took me a second to realise what she was doing. “Be careful,” she told me, then turned and walked away.
I watched her go, then shook my head and went to get ready for my return to Richard’s mansion.
Preparation is important for a diviner, and if I have to go somewhere dangerous I always make sure I’ve got as much leverage as possible. With my flat occupied by the police I couldn’t access my items there, so I had to go scrounging. By the time I’d begged, borrowed, and traded for enough magic items to make me feel reasonably safe, it was past noon.
The one item I hesitated over was my mist cloak. It’s the most effective form of stealth I have, but it was also back in the safe room in my flat. I might be able to get it out without the police stopping me, but then again I might not. What decided me against it in the end was that I’d be with Caldera—for various reasons I’d much rather the Keepers didn’t find out that I own that particular item. I picked up a last few bits and pieces and dialled Caldera’s number.
Caldera didn’t sound happy. “What kept you?”
“Sorry,” I said. “Long night.”
“I left you two messages, didn’t you get them? Never mind, just get over here. We’re on our way to the park near yours with the grounding circle. You know the place?”
“I’ll be there.”
The park near my shop is about a ten-minute walk away. Even though it’s in the middle of Camden it always seems to be deserted, maybe because of the construction vehicles parked around it. As a result of some geographical oddities it has an unusually low level of background magic, which is handy if you want to study something or use a tricky spell. It’s not widely used, but I’m far from the only one who knows about it and this wasn’t the first time I’d met another mage there.
Caldera was under the trees at the far end, and she wasn’t alone. I crossed the park, ducked under the branches, then looked between her and the person she’d brought along. “This is a bad idea.”
Sonder was standing next to Caldera, wearing the kind of get-up city dwellers buy from camping stores when they want to go hiking. “What?” he said.
“Why is he here?” I asked Caldera.
“Because he’s a time mage,” Caldera said, glancing between us. She was wearing old workman’s clothes, patched and mended from long use, as well as a webbing belt with sealed pouches. “You’ve worked together before, right?”
“I thought this was supposed to be a quick in-and-out.”