“How would you know what’s really me?” Rachel snapped. “You decide stuff and you expect me to do it too. You never ask me what I want.”
Shireen looked taken aback. “I thought—”
“You always talk the most, you act like you’re in charge, you get all the attention.” Rachel looked like she couldn’t stop if she wanted to; all the years of frustration were pouring out. “Your magic’s stronger, you get everything first, it’s you, you, you, but the one thing I could count on was that you were always on my side. Now for once I want something and you don’t care! It’s still all about you. You change your mind and you just expect me to follow you. Well, I’m not doing it! Not this time! I want this and for once this is going to be about what I want!”
Shireen was staring at Rachel. “You always felt like that?” she said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you never asked!” Rachel shouted. “You just assumed I was going to do whatever you decided! I followed you to sign up with Richard but I’m not following you now.”
“How many times are you going to throw that at me?” Shireen shouted. “I know I was the one who talked you into coming here. I know it was a mistake. Now’s our chance to fix it.”
Rachel opened her mouth to give another angry reply, then something seemed to break. All of a sudden she just looked tired and miserable. “It’s too late.” Rachel sounded desperately unhappy, and just for an instant I wondered if this had been how she’d always felt. “Everything we’ve done . . . Who’s going to want an ex–Dark apprentice? We have to stick it through. It’s the only way we’re going to be safe.”
“We’re never going to be safe, Rach,” Shireen said gently. Her anger was gone too; she only looked sad. “And that’s our fault. I know you want me to stay and help you with Tobruk. But after Tobruk there’d be someone else and someone else. As long as we live as Dark mages there’ll always be another Tobruk. The only way to get away from them is to leave.”
Rachel hesitated, and for the first time I had the feeling she was really wavering. Shireen put her hands on Rachel’s shoulders, and this time Rachel didn’t push her away. “Listen to me,” Shireen said, looking straight into Rachel’s eyes. “We might have made bad choices, but we don’t have to keep making them. We can turn back, if we admit we were wrong and start fixing our mistakes. I can’t undo what we’ve done but I can help Catherine right now. And that’s what I’m going to do.” Shireen moved Rachel to the side and started walking towards the archway leading to the cells.
Rachel stared after her for a second, then fright leapt into her eyes. “No! Don’t!”
“It’s the only way, Rach.”
“You can’t do this!” Rachel’s voice rose, broke. “He’ll kill me! You’re supposed to be on my side!”
Shireen didn’t stop or turn; she was passing the altar. “Stop!” Rachel shouted. Her hand began to lift, blue-green light flickering around it. Shireen didn’t react. “Stop!” Shireen kept walking. “Stop!” And a thin blue-green ray flashed from Rachel’s hand, striking Shireen’s lower back and passing through into the archway beyond.
Shireen stumbled and stopped. She turned and looked at Rachel in complete surprise, then her legs gave out from underneath her and she crumpled to the stone.
Rachel stood frozen, her hand still raised. “I didn’t—” she began. “I didn’t mean to—”
Shireen stared at Rachel for a long moment, then a kind of realisation crept into her eyes and she leant her head back against the stone. “Oh,” she said quietly.
“Oh God, you’re bleeding.” Rachel looked around wildly. “Just stay there. I’ll get you something, I’ll—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Shireen said softly. She took a breath. “I guess . . . you get what you want after all.” Her eyes drifted closed.
“Shireen?” Rachel rushed to her side, then fell to her knees. “Wake up! Shireen! Shireen!”
Chapter 11
When Richard walked in through the archway, Rachel was kneeling next to Shireen. Blood was pooled on the floor and smeared over Rachel’s arms and clothes; she’d taken off her top and wrapped it around Shireen’s middle. Rachel looked up at Richard with haunted eyes and he stopped and took in the scene. “Well,” he said at last. “It seems I’ve missed a few things.”
“Please . . .” Rachel’s voice was shaky. “I can’t stop the bleeding. She won’t . . .”
“Yes, yes. Let me have a look at her.” Richard walked forward and crouched by Shireen’s body. His suit was crumpled and covered in dust but his eyes were bright and his movements full of energy. He looked like he’d just come through a desperate battle and won. “Hmm, nasty wound. Disintegration?”
Rachel didn’t answer. “Well, it shouldn’t be much trouble,” Richard said, standing and dusting himself off. “There’s internal bleeding, but that’s easy enough to stop.”
Rachel stared at him. “You’re going to help her? But she—” She stopped.
“Tried to break into the cells. I know.”
“She won’t— I didn’t—”
Richard raised a hand. “Please don’t apologise, Rachel. Your show of loyalty is admirable. I appreciate how difficult this must have been for you.”
Rachel looked down at the floor. “So given the course of events, I think we can safely assume that Shireen has resigned her position,” Richard said. “Normally I would leave her to her fate, but I think in this case the decision should be yours. If you’d prefer her to be treated I will of course respect your wishes.” He paused. “Assuming that’s what you want.”
Rachel’s head came up. “What?”
“Your aim was quite precise,” Richard said in a conversational tone. “Exactly enough damage to incapacitate Shireen, but not enough to kill her. Some would call it accident. Personally, I believe you have more skill than that.” Richard reached into his pocket. “I could heal her, of course. But perhaps you’d prefer the use of this.” He opened his hand and I caught my breath. On Richard’s palm was a black crystal, a twin to the one Tobruk had shown Rachel.
Rachel stared at the crystal, a sort of dawning horror creeping across her face, then she shook her head violently. “No.”
“Are you sure?” Richard asked. “On some level, wasn’t this what you were considering? Why else would you have used the spell you did?”
“No.” Rachel kept shaking her head. “I can’t.”
Richard watched her for a moment, tilting his head, then closed his hand back over the crystal, hiding it from view. “As you wish,” he said, beginning to walk away. “I’ve never attempted to force you into anything, Rachel. Remember that. Threats and bullying may suffice for lesser men but a true mage must be willing and aware. I can offer suggestions, but the final decision is always yours. So it was for Alex and Shireen; so it is for you.”
Something was happening near the altar: the shadows seemed to be deepening, growing. Richard was walking in a slow circuit about the room, passing the ancient murals, while Rachel sat frozen, staring. “Perhaps we should consider the options,” Richard said. “I always find it helpful to talk these things through. We could stabilise Shireen, take her to Maria or some other life mage to have her healed. Of course, I doubt reviving Shireen would persuade her to respect your earlier decision. I suspect she would simply try to retrieve the Traviss girl again once she was recovered and, if she again chose a time when I was otherwise occupied, she might actually succeed.” Richard glanced back at Rachel. “If she did, I would hunt her down and kill her, along with any accomplices. My tolerance goes only so far.”
The darkness around the altar was taking shape. In the shadows I could make out something tall and thin, but neither Richard nor Rachel seemed to notice. “Of course, this leaves Tobruk out of the equation,” Richard said. “I believe his intention was to use his own crystal upon Alex. Should he succeed—and he seems quite confident that he will—then when he returns he will have Alex’s power in addition to his own. I imagine his first action will be to go looking for you and Shireen to settle some old scores. And given Shireen’s condition, it’s hard to imagine her offering much assistance.”