“Dad, I just lost track of the time!” Arnie cried. “Stop making such a big thing out of it!”
“Were you driving around?”
“Yes, but—”
“I notice that’s when it usually happens, Michael said. “Will you be home tonight?”
“Yes, early,” Arnie said. He wet his lips. “I just want to go by the garage, I have some information Will asked me to get while I was in Philly
“I’m not very interested in that either, pardon me,” Michael said. His voice was still polite, chillingly disconnected.
“Oh,” Arnie said in a very small voice. He was very scared now, almost trembling.
“Arnie?”
“What?” Arnie nearly whispered.
“What is going on?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Please. That detective came by to see me at my office. He was after Regina, as well. He upset her very badly. I don’t think he meant to, but—”
“What was it this time?” Arnie asked” fiercely. “That fucker, what was it this time? I’ll—”
“You’ll what?”
“Nothing.” He swallowed something that tasted like a lump of dust. “What was it this time?”
“Repperton,” his father said. “Repperton and those other two boys. What did you think it was? The geopolitical situation in Brazil?”
“What happened to Repperton was an accident,” Arnie said. “Why did he want to talk to you and Mom about something that was an accident, for Christ’s sake?”
“I don’t know.” Michael Cunningham paused. “Do you?”
“How would I?” Arnie yelled. “I was in Philadelphia, how would I know anything about it? I was playing chess, not… not… not anything else,” he finished lamely.
“One more time,” Michael Cunningham said. “Is something going on, Arnie?”
He thought of the smell, the high, rotting stink. Leigh choking, digging at her throat, turning blue. He had tried to thump her on the back because that’s what you did when someone was choking, there was no such thing as a Heimlich Manoeuvre because it hadn’t been invented yet, and besides, that was how it was supposed to end, only not in the car… beside the road… in his arms…
He closed his eyes and the whole world seemed to tilt and swirl sickly.
“Arnie?”
“There is nothing going on,” he said through clenched teeth and without opening his eyes. “Nothing but a lot of people who are on my case because I finally got something of my own and did it all by myself.”
“All right,” his father said, his lacklustre voice once more terribly reminiscent of Mr Slawson’s. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here. I always have been, although I didn’t always make that as clear as I should have. Be sure to kiss your mother when you come in, Arnie.”
“Yeah, I will. Listen, Mi—”
Click.
He stood in the booth, listening stupidly to the sound of nothing at all. His father was gone. There wasn’t even a dial tone because it was a dumb fucking… phone booth.
He dug into his pocket and spread his change out on the little metal shelf where he could look at it. He picked up a dime, almost dropped it, and at last got it into the slot. He felt sick and overheated. He felt as if he had been very efficiently disowned.
He dialled Leigh’s number from memory.
Mrs Cabot picked the phone up and recognized his voice immediately. Her pleasant and rather sexy come-hither-thou-fascinating-stranger phone voice became instantly hard. Arnie had had his last chance with her, that voice said, and he had blown it.
“She doesn’t want to talk to you and she doesn’t want to see you,” she said.
“Mrs Cabot, please, if I could just—”
“I think you’ve done enough,” Mrs Cabot said coolly. “She came in crying the other night and she’s been crying off and on ever since. She had some sort of a… an experience with you the last time you and she went out, and I only pray it wasn’t what I thought it was. I—”
Arnie felt hysterical laughter bubbling up inside him. Leigh had almost choked to death on a hamburger, and her mother was afraid Arnie had tried to rape her.
“Mrs Cabot, I have to talk to her.”
“I’m afraid not.”
He tried to think of something else to say, some way to get past the dragon at the gate. He felt a little like a Fuller Brush salesman trying to get in to see the lady of the house. His tongue wouldn’t move. He would have made a lousy salesman. There was going to be that hard click and then smooth silence again.
Then he heard the telephone change hands, Mrs Cabot said something in sharp protest, and Leigh said something back; it was too muffled for him to catch. Then Leigh’s voice said, “Arnie?”
“Hi,” he said. “Leigh, I just wanted to call and tell you how sorry I was about—”
“Yes,” Leigh said “I know you were, and I accept your apology, Arnie. But I won’t—I can’t go out with you anymore. Unless things change.”
“Ask me something easy,” he whispered.
“That’s all I—” Her voice sharpened, moved slightly away from the telephone. “Mom, please stop hanging over me!” Her mother said something that sounded disgruntled, there was a pause, and then Leigh’s voice again, low. “That’s all I can say, Arnie. I know how crazy it sounds, but I still think your car tried to kill me the other night. I don’t know how something like that could be, but no matter how I work it over in my mind, it comes out seeing that that was how it was. I know that’s how it was. It’s got you, doesn’t it?”
“Leigh, if you’ll pardon my French, that’s pretty fucking stupid. It’s a car! Can you spell that C-A-R, car! There’s nothing—”
“Yes,” she said, and now her voice was wavering toward tears. “It’s got you, she’s got you, and I guess nobody can get you free except you.”
His back suddenly awoke and began to throb, sending pain out in a sickish radiation that seemed to echo and amplify in his head.
“Isn’t that the truth of it, Arnie?”
He didn’t, couldn’t, answer.
“Get rid of it,” Leigh said. “Please. I read about that Repperton boy in the paper this morning, and—”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” Arnie croaked. And for the second time: “That was an accident.”
“I don’t know what it was. Maybe I don’t want to know. But it isn’t us I’m worried about anymore. It’s you, Arnie. I’m scared for you. You ought to—no, you have to get rid of it.”
Arnie whispered, “Just say you won’t dump me, Leigh. Okay?”
Now she was even closer to crying—or perhaps she was already doing it. “Promise me, Arnie. You have to promise me and then you have to do it. Then we… we can see. Promise me you’ll get rid of that car. It’s all I want from you, nothing else.”
He closed his eyes and saw Leigh walking home from school. And a block down, idling at the kerb, was Christine. Waiting for her.
He opened his eyes quickly, as if he had seen a friend in a dark room.
“I can’t do that,” he said.
“Then we don’t have much to talk about, do we?”
“Yes! Yes, we do. We—”
“No. Goodbye, Arnie. I’ll see you in school.”
“Leigh, wait!”
Click. And dead smooth silence.
A moment of nearly total rage came over him. He had a sudden deadly impulse to swing the black phone receiver around and around his head like an Argentinian bolas, shattering the glass in this goddam torture-chamber of a telephone booth. They had run out on him, all of them. Rats deserting a sinking ship.
You have to be ready to help yourself before anyone else can help you.
Fuck that bullshit! They were rats deserting a sinking ship. Not one of them, from that shitter Slawson with his thick horn — rimmed glasses and his weird poached-egg eyes to his rotten shitting old man who was so fucking pussywhipped that he ought to just give that cunt he was married to a razor and invite her to cut it off to that cheap bitch in her fancy house with her legs crossed probably she’d been having her period and that’s why she choked on the goddam hamburger and those shitters with their fancy goddam cars and the boots full of golf-clubs those goddam officers I’d like to bend them over this here lathe I’d play some golf with them I could find the right hole to put those little white balls in you bet your ass but when I get out of here no one’s going to tell me what to do it’s gonna be my way my way mine mine mine mine mine MINE—