You really want me to? How come?
Donno. I just do.
She borrowed a pair of scissors from Vlasta. Afterwards I was more naked, it felt weird, next morning I found myself a cap. A flat one.
Least you won’t get lice. I never saw your head like that before.
You like it?
It’s yours.
Černá, c’mon, it’s just a disguise, c’mon, we’re losin it. Tomorrow … we hit the road.
But with the rags we had on, we didn’t stand a chance hitching anyway. I burned the hair.
Černá began working in the kitchen, in the tent. I checked it out right away … Vandas had disappeared somewhere, probably on business. He wanted her, I could tell. Pepek kept an eye on the Johns, got drunk, fought with Vlasta, and in his free moments prowled around the Spinach Bar, begging whenever travelers from the better countries passed through. Knew the spiel in umpteen languages bout the entrepreneur who’d missed his train. Putting on a face that said “honest to the bone.” Sometimes they’d toss him a few pfennigs. Usually, though, they drove through pretty fast. The Austrians behind the glass must’ve been pretty sad about their strategic location. Europe just couldn’t quite unify somehow. The ecu wasn’t happening. Spinach is gonna go on the block, I laid it out for the manager.
Sometimes during the day they’d put a few tables outside, I’d go and drink coffee. The waiters knew by now I was no Dutch boy, but they didn’t care. They also knew I wouldn’t break anything, and that I’d pay.
After I told Černá though, I never went back inside. I’d sit under an umbrella, drinking one bitter espresso after the next, curing myself of my hangover. I had one constantly. Coffee brought me back. When I had the cash. Every now and then Černá’d slip me a little something, but usually I had luck with the bigget. There was just one trick to it. Most of the bettors were passin through, so even though a lot of em were countryfolk, they didn’t notice at first … the more of em he ate, the lazier he got. The farmers usually expected him to bite one rat and then go for the rest. But the rats … would go into a frenzy when they realized they couldn’t escape … they’d start biting, and he’d slow down. It was simple. Usually the guys seeing the show for the first time got burned. Cause to start with the dog was ferocious and fast. And the start was what got the inexperienced bettors hot to trot. Štefan, the mutt’s owner, and me cut a deal. He noticed me. Then I lured people in for him.
Černá … maybe because I’d told her … I was a little shy around her. I knew we had to take off, it pounded in my brain every day. But as long as Vandas was gone, I wasn’t worried about her. And maybe we were both a little scared to head out on the road again.
I bummed around the marketplace, made a few connections, I knew I could sell the gun and there’d be cash. But I was saving that as a last resort. Just like that last round. In one of my clearer moments, I was sitting with Černá by the pump, over near the Spinach Bar, and I looked at my sister … and I was startled … Sister, you’ve got wrinkles too … around your nose, an here’s a silver hair … I know, she said, I’ve had that ages, didn’t you notice, an so what? … nothin, it’s nice … but … something about her was strange, and then suddenly I saw what … she had on a dress, an ordinary dress, the kind women wear … in the kitchen … she’d sold her old stuff, or traded it … this’s gotta stop, it’s like we’re in a trap … Černá, I’m sellin the gun an that’s that! We’re outta here. I patted Madonna under my shirt to make it official. You talk with Pepek? I steer clear a that moron … I met a guy, says his name’s Štefan, an he’s got a car … Pepek says those officers’ve been askin around about us, says some guy an a girl held up a gas station nearby … yeah, so? Don’t you get it, as long as we’re with Vandas, it doesn’t matter what we did … but the cops’re lookin for them, an if they happen to nab us somewhere … then y’know, you know … Sister, if we go with Štefan, he’s got family in Hungary … hey, we got no cash, no ID, we can’t even buy food, are you nuts?! I got the pistol. Sell it, but watch out. I mean, you know … that Greek, or whoever he is, you know damn well he wants to get me into bed, an how’re we sposta protect ourselves? What’re you talkin about, c’mon, you’re with me! You’re so fulla shit … how many times’ve you been drunk or off with your buddies while he was hittin on me? An how many people has he got around here?! He can do anything. Is he harassin you? No, cross my heart, an that’s what scares me. Maybe he wants more than just to sleep with me, maybe that’s why he’s so serious. Aha, I said thoughtfully. An you know he’s got that Pepek guy, like his jester or whatever … an know what he told me? What? He told me he admires me for scrapin potatoes instead a doin that, an that if I did … he says Pepek goes berserk when Vlasta’s on the rag, low turnover, the brute says … if I did do it, he said, he wouldn’t like me anymore … Černá, I’m amazed, you blushed just now, damn, it’s flattering on you! Listen, little brother, this dress is from him, since you obviously don’t give a shit. Huh? You just don’t get it, if it wasn’t for Vandas I couldn’t even walk through this market alone practically … an what’m I, a bar singer … an you … who’re you … honey? What’re we, what’ve we got, what the hell’ve we got … nothin. That’s the way it is. What’ve you got to say? What’ve you got to say for yourself … you’re a wreck. Those rats’re makin you stupid. Vandas may be horrible, but at least he’s a man. But you’re my sister … Yeah, I am. Don’t worry, I hugged her, squeezing her tight but … gingerly … Like I said, I’ll sell the gun, an we’ll round up some clothes an hop a train, an in two days everything’ll be back to normal.
I trust you, she said. But I don’t have much strength left. We can’t stay here anymore. Do something.
I did. I went to find Štefan to tell him about the pistol. But along the way I got caught up in an argument with some asshole. We made up over a bottle and went to place our bets. I took him and then bought another bottle. The vodka with the skull on the label, most expensive stuff they had. I didn’t want to see her after that. I slept outside, just peeked in to make sure she was there. She was lying down already. I’ll stand guard … I can see the door from here, I said to myself. Reflecting off the metal stairs, the moon chilled my eyes till I fell asleep. Next morning she woke me up. See you at Spinach, she said. You okay for coffee?
Yeah.
After two I felt better. After the third she finally came. Looking pretty fresh, it was the dress … actually it suits you. It really does, Černá … if those fan clubs a yours could see you though …
Yesterday I wanted to hurt you … but you were asleep. Lucky you! Černá said angrily. You have no idea how worried I was where you were. I wanted to take the pistol. I’m gonna sell it myself.
Uh-uh, darlin, I said. I’m outta your league.
I don’t wanna be in your league. I want outta here. An fast. Or somethin bad’s gonna happen, I can feel it.
She got up and walked to the pump. Two rusty-haired curs lapped at the damp stones. Suspicious, they looked up, the bigger one bristling, showing his teeth. Shoo varmint, I’ll tap you one, she said, pumping the handle. The dogs crept warily toward the stream of cold water splattering against the stones, both flashing their canines.
From my vantage point by the watering hole, day in, day out, I could see why the stray dogs, living off whatever they could beg, scavenge, or steal, had plenty of reasons not to trust anything human. Their lifestyle fit the marketeers’ to a T, only they didn’t drink, do drugs, smoke, or blaspheme at all, I don’t think. It occurred to me that afterwards … they’ll have a better chance. When they go riding off on that doggy shinkansen. Anyone anyplace on this shared planet of ours who says dogs don’t have a soul is an idiot, I don’t care how high up he stands in his worldly church. He could have a cap a gold an a cassock to his heels, I’d still think ill of him.