Know who they’re screamin at? said the Face. Your grandpas.
An I go: But … they couldn’t do anything!
Oh yeah, right. I guess not. Said the Face.
An I gathered up my courage, because just hanging there like that I coulda been tossed anywhere at any time, an it occurred to me that actually I didn’t care anymore, an I go: Like that our grandpas didn’t slaughter those guys before they slaughtered the Jews, yeah? An what if they had … somehow … what if the Messiach had been one a those other guys that got slaughtered!
But he wasn’t. Said the Face. And it sneered.
An it occurred to me up there that it didn’t matter anymore whether our grandpas had been slaughtered or kept quiet or took part in the killing, it didn’t matter anymore for what reasons or by what coincidence, but the Messiach wasn’t coming. He’d been here an they’d burned him. That’s what flashed through my mind while I was hanging there, O my brothers.
Exactly, said the Face. I don’t like the way you keep killin em. An if I give it another try, said the Face, it won’t be till … well … we’ll see.
So why’d you let it happen? I shouted, no longer afraid.
But the Face didn’t answer me. An suddenly I was holding that key … an ordinary house key … made by the thousands all over the place … but then the key started burning my hand … turned white-hot, an I let go an watched it drop back into the human ashes.
It dropped down in there an the ashes swallowed it up. So that’s it, brothers an chiefs, that’s what I saw. But one more thing: I was hanging there in space over that land of ashes an skeletons. An the space wasn’t moving because time’d died with the Messiach in Auschwitz, an I grasped my enormous mistake. No time bomb exploded, brothers, an some of the acting an dancing I’d done was the dance of the dead, of a man without time, an that was a mistake, an arrogant mistake. Time died in the land of ashes, it hit me. Because one tribe had tried to kill off another an it almost worked an the wheel of the world of human tribes had been broken. An if I hadn’t heard that cry of pain, I donno if I would’ve come down from up there … ever, brothers, but then I heard a scream … an I saw it in the sky, like the sound of a sharp knife ripping through canvas … a scream out of a nightmare, an I got scared that whatever it is that comes after hell had come back to life again down there below me … but then I recognized the voice, it was our helper and superintendent: Vasil.
An in the dead timeless sky I saw a dark star glowing … time had shifted … an that star was Wormwood, brothers. The Face showed me Wormwood, an it was scarlet, an there in the sky stood a man-at-arms with animal horns on his helmet … an he was draped in a scarlet cloak, he wore the color of rage with pride … it was the Dark One in all his power, the Prince … an the Face gave me power too, an I shouted: Hey hey! An in my heart there was joy because suddenly it overflowed with the cruel water of the warpath, an once again I was happy, my sinful hopelessness was gone … an maybe it was the joy of a worm with a meaningless life who now knows it’ll never have meaning, but I was joyful … because the Face was here an I was here an you were here, O blood brothers, an the Devil was over there … I was joyful … I was back in the wheel of war, I was alive … an I knew many traps’re hidden to man but there’s still somebody to fight against … an then I was back by the ovens with you.
Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here a while, said Bohler.
We leaned our backs against the grating and the sun shone overhead but it didn’t give off any heat. Still, we weren’t cold. An as for me, O skippers an pseudodroogs, I forgot all about my flight the second I sat back down on a bone an leaned against the oven.
We were five* an there were millions all around an we had no clue what was to become of us.
But Josef Novák the skeleton had shown us so much horror … we had no more tears or vomit left, an even though we were still afraid, I saw a couple of my buddies with smiles on their faces … but they weren’t ordinary smiles … Micka bared his teeth grotesquely … Sharky squatted down, pouring ashes on his head an wailing again, but then he gave up an came over to us an curled his lips back too … it was a wicked wolfish smile … because we didn’t know what to do anymore, the springs we had inside us had bounced back against the horror … so, fine, if some power wants it, we’ll die right here an maybe we’ll go to hell an shove it up your ass! I had the same smile too, I think, wicked … a wolfish grin.
Bohler stretched an stood up.
I know what you’re thinkin, said Shark Stein, but none a that, there’ll be no collective baptisms of the dead in this place!
An why not? asked Bohler, readying his vessel.
An no consecrating either, I’m tellin ya!
Now now, son, find your humility …
These are my tribe’s people, damn it, an it was Christians that did this to em, for cryin out loud …
Go on, cutiepie, whadda ya mean your tribe? My little Praguish bastard blend.
Where’re you from, Cassock? Micka spoke up.
Since when’ve you got somethin against the little mother, priestie, I took the stronger side at random.
What, are you crazy, Bohler, askin Stein about his tribe?! C’mon, we’re a tribe! said David.
Yeah yeah, Micka cracked a grin, I’d say the gentleman comes from the mighty nation of Crybabies!
We’re on the site where millions died a large an weighty death, brothers … Bohler stepped back in.
Yeah exactly, said Shark Stein.
Yeah exactly, an that’s why it’s all the same, said Micka.
Unfortunately I hafta agree, I said.
No, said David. Look at us, we’re not dead.
We had to think about that one a little.
David walked over an gave me a slap. Ho ho, who’da thought the sissy had it in im … I hunched up slightly, cocking my hands at the proper height, a little above my thighs …
See, you macaque, you gotta be alive if that hurt, said David.
I readjusted my hands to their original position.
Vida, vida, the old ploy still works, Bohler snickered with delight.
We strolled around, back an forth, walking across the skeletons, all of a sudden it worked again. It didn’t affect us anymore.
How bout that, said one of us, now it works again. An maybe it won’t in a while, another one of us added.
If we had the Fiery here, this stuff’d be like dry leaves, said one of us, poking some bones with his shoe; one of us, an incorrigible human being.
An then, O my brothers, knights, an skippers, we each settled into the dream our own way. We got used to that timeless place, brothers, to that Auschwitzian grave. After all, we were well aware that at the end of each life is death, as Comrade Stalin used to say.
Bohler walked around, anointing whatever skulls Shark Stein would permit, the more crumbled ones that Sharky conceded might be … partially … of Aryan origin … maybe. Sharky didn’t take his eyes off him, an meanwhile tried to get his bearings. Once upon a time the wind blew here, he said, and once upon a time it shuddered at the sight. An you can definitely tell your compass points, it’s always good to know where you’re at. Which way’s left an which way’s right.