We know that Hunkie warrior alright.
I know, said the Agent. But what’re we supposed to do? The United States of Europe won’t let us in. An MATO won’t take us either, we don’t even have standardized ammunition! So what’re we supposed to do, we have to look out for ourselves.
An those contracts with the Kavkhaz Emirates …
If we don’t sell arms, someone else will. When those assassins got our first free president, it was written in his will. That’s the word round the Ministry! It may be somewhat apparently absurd … but even Mauretania and Oceania don’t want us. We have to act sensibly.
Hunt for the mote in your own eyes. We don’t give a damn about your laws. Those judges a yours, sendin people to the penalty box. We’re a tribe, we got a contract. Fuck if I’m fetchin coffee for some monster that used to interrogate me in whatever piece-a-shit office he parks his ass in now.
But you do business with em!
So what, that’s my free choice. No one’s forcin me. My business. An besides, it’s perverted.
But we’ve got constitutions!
Made by the same guys as the old ones. Doctors with degrees from bolshevik instytutes. Lawyers from hell, Agent. Constitutions’re scraps a paper. Sworn on by the same guys that went by the old ones, an now they’re laughin. Never been happier. Used to be they squelched whoever they were ordered to, to get a spot at the watering hole. Now they squelch for whoever pays. What we’ve got here’s bad old early England. The outbreak of industry. The pirates’ve got the cash, an they hire moppets to keep the wheel spinnin. There’s no law, just old Darwin. I know. I’m in on it too. I say that sincerely, as an animal. Apologies for getting upset!
You guys’re mafia, Potok.
Aw, come on, we’re just a buncha pals helpin each other out.
That was my pat response and I enjoyed using it.
This isn’t about your rackets anyway.
So what is it about?
Fine then, straight up: that well a yours is a Zone.
Huh? My eyes popped. I couldn’t believe what he’d said. There were two or three Zones in town already, and they were bad, real bad.
Are you serious?
Yep. But stay put, it won’t do your buddies any harm an they’re the only ones there. I’ll check it out.
He toppled back in his chair, this time it was him whose eyes were popping. I kept waiting for him to whip out a transmitter, but I guess it was in his neck. I turned to where he was staring. Behind us was a table of girls. Is that what threw him? Hey, I said. Still pop-eyed, he’d begun to sweat.
Uaagh! he wrenched out. It’s okay. We were worried about the Slovak girl, but it’s all right for her there too. I saw that in you just now, I’m also a little …
The enigma of extrasensory perception, I said so he could see.
Well, I’m still learnin, he added. But at least now you know the Ministry is fighting …
Quickly I repeated to myself: Zones are evil, Zones suck in the pure, Zones are tunnels. That’s all we know. I realized I was talking out loud.
The Agent nodded his head, pleased. He didn’t seem so young anymore.
Correct, he said. An a few more things.
A Zone’s not just any old hole, where you basically survive if you’re fast an agile enough, I said. It’s Evil.
It’s a path to it. That’s what the hitlers went there for, said the Agent. The Laotians just got in their way. An Hadraba, poor guy, gave em an excuse.
That bastard!
Well, said the Agent, he’s still pretty new to the little mother, he grinned and apologetically threw up his hands.
I silently congratulated Romul on his discovery.
Did you like the drink, an how bout the name?
Heh, wha …
Yeah, I thought it might remind you of Závorová … Barbara.
Shut up or …
Or nothin. That old theater troupe a yours left a nice little file behind at the Ministry. We know Závorová escaped to Germany.
You know where she is now?
Weelll, the Agent shrugged and rolled his eyes.
She didn’t escape anywhere, she soared into the air, flew off in time … She-Dog! I spoke her name out loud in front of another person, a cop … I finished my drink and stood up.
Well, maybe we know, an maybe we don’t …
I sat back down.
It all depends …
On what.
He leaned across the table and delivered that beautiful spook line:
It all depends on you.
Okay. I’m all for it. But …
But what?
I’ve got a contract.
Oh of course. You’re such a moralist bunch, Bohler, that Bog-lover …
Save it, I snapped back.
First we’ll take the second an then we’ll come back to the first, he said Prague-style. I think we found a way to clean up the Zones, or at least to stop em from spreadin. An force em to give back whatever went into them. Except for the hitlers of course. It’s a process based on telluric magma, internal incandescence … but you wouldn’t understand anyway.
Nope. What’s in it for you?
Ahead a you there’s the Spessart Society, they’re a buncha beggars, then the Abdulimah, we’ll let them bite the dust, next some Yezidis, an then you. You come last by law, but you mentioned old Darwin yourself. So, one m. for the medium, another m. to the Ministry account, one to another account, one more for me, an we’ll take a look at that little well a yours first.
Now he really didn’t look like some pale young kid. Potok the actor trounced by another hack. How many masks does this guy have, I thought with a touch of professional envy.
As many as I need, said the Agent.
Know the rest? I asked, and said in my mind: The pumpkin eats the carrot, rods and wands slice.
The beetle hops, let’s roll the dice, he said hesitantly.
Hah-hah. Okay, I’ll take the first thing, but when’m I gonna see her, where is she? Závorová … as you put it.
I can’t see that far either, the Agent said honestly. But be ready.
That’s what she tells me.
Be ready. You’ll hear from Jícha.
Huh, he’s with you guys?
Never let anything surprise you. My name’s Rudolf, an at least now you realize that the Ministry …
Hello, Rudolf!
How bout the second thing, change your mind yet? The medium can come by tonight.
You didn’t see it in the ball yet?
I saw it, nodded Rudolf.
So what was there?
That you’ll take it. Without even consulting the others.
Aright then. We’ll take it.
Hey, Potok, at least now you realize who the Ministry is up against …
Hm?
… the Devil, he whispered, and rose.
I stayed at the empty table. The hubbub was picking up, so luckily I couldn’t concentrate. A Zone, that’s bad. We might have to move out. 5 m.’s a good chunk, I’ll see what Micka an David say. I shot the bartender a questioning look and tapped the spot on my hand where people wear watches. He shook his head and made the sign for time, lots of it. Fine, I’ll manage. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the doctor’s two daughters … and all those cats, dogs, and squirrels, I couldn’t take it, so I relocated to the bar. Along the way I stopped off at the girls’ table. Some seventeen-year-old had just arrived, shaved bald and, as was apparent thanks to her modest attire, heavily tattooed. Hi girrrls, didja hear the Blue Negroes’re playin tonight! she shrieked … yeah, just don’t freak, chapel girl, said another seventeen-year-old with long black hair and a Madonna-like face, the old one, I mean. Scuse me, do you know if Černá’ll be here tonight, I asked politely. Naw, she’s in the maternity clinic, said Madonna. Huh? You mean she’s … got a bun in the oven? Tee-hee, the girl sputtered, are you outta your mind … she’s in for scurvy, foot-n-mouth, some booze thing, hey, how bout buyin the sisters some refreshments, don’t just stand there, entertain us! No, you’re not my sisters, an I gotta fight for justice, maybe I’ll stop by later. Maybe there won’t be a later, Madonna said in a voice so heavy with booze I could barely crawl out from under it.