We donno your vahine. She’s not here, can’tcha see? Hey, he can’t see! He can’t see us, we’re not here! I think he wants ta crawl unner the table, said one. I think he wants ta shoot up, said the other. Found it so funny he pitched onto the floor. Černá, you kiddin, we got colors galore … wait, he means Bardot, no, Dietrich … no, dude, Diamanda!
I left the door open, I pointed out, and there could be more coming after me. Huh? The one in the knit cap got up. Look, guys, I said amiably … she’s the one we’re lookin for, the girl with the scar, we don’t give a damn about you … but … it all depends on you … the boys could be here any minute, and if they start takin turns on you down at the station … You lie, junkie, said the one with the cap … I underestimated him … he slugged me hard … but the other one jumped on him … take it easy, Francek, he soothed him, be reasonable … That’s right! I said in a forceful tone, like some kinda Colombian judge. You can enjoy your shit or not, it’s up to you … hey Francek, he means Evie Blue Eyes, the one with the scar …
That’s her! I shouted. But they aren’t blue though … the third one got up again: Ask me if I care. Oh yeah? Yeah! Which one a you’s Hozner? I demanded. None, said Knit Cap. So where is he? He ain’t here. He ain’t anywhere no more, hah, said Knit Cap. His witty mood was coming back.
Look, the reasonable one told me, we don’t got nothin to do with her, she’s someplace else now … Where? She’s been stoppin by old Dernet’s place … downstairs, second floor. Aright, but if you’re bullshittin me I’ll be back, I promised him. I was serious. And I said it so he could tell. Real passionate like.
I dropped back down the shaft in a crate hooked to a cable. This whole thing was gettin to be a drag.
I was so absorbed in my drug squad role I didn’t lift my finger off the buzzer till the door opened. First thing that caught my eye was the bump on his head. Second: his hushed voice. Come in, my lost child, he said. Which of the brothers sends you?
Sister.
You mean Sister Asmorgas?
I mean my sister, I said.
We are all brothers and sisters.
You’re no bro a mine, parasite, I thought to myself. Yes, I said.
How much does she send to the poor? How much did she collect?
Place didn’t look at all like the others. For one thing it was almost totally dark. Rugs on the walls. Tapestries? What’s the difference? One you don’t walk on. I figured Dernet for bout as old as that photographer guy. But he was all in black. Almost like me.
You too seek solace, young man … you are lost, fumbling your way in the dark …
You can say that again, I admitted.
Search no further!
Mr. Dernet, I’m tryin to find Černá, Evie they call her. Tell me where she is.
Sinner, yelped the oldster, kneel down!
Only place I kneel’s in church, I said, perhaps with unnecessary harshness, an they’re locked up. I patted the Madonna on my chest.
Dernet looked at me. And well you should, for Piyus, that Prick, that hydra, is leading the throngs into the flames! Kneel, dog.
Mr. Dernet, please, I’m just lookin for my sister, my girlfriend!
Sister Asmorgas is dead, boy … and you can only pray … that is why she sent you here … we are all her murderers … he had some statuettes around the room, the window was shut.
I started to sweat a little. Excuse me, Mr. Dernet, I don’t think you can help. Kneel, he screamed, and opened the closet door, actually it mighta been a ward robe … Asmorgas seeks young men such as you, drink her light and you shall find peace … an altar came shootin outta the closet, some kinda mechanical setup, artificial light flooded the room, Dernet kneeled down on the floor … it was a regular Mary statue, musta cost a good couple grand for that motor though … I had a buddy over at the Tatra factory, I knew this stuff … gave Mary a pat on the forehead, just a light flick, they produce it for export to Latin America … the thing rolled back in again, stopped glowin … Dernet picked himself up, eyes poppin outta his skull … You know the sign? I drop and bow down to you. Command me and I shall be your servant.
Jesus, I gotta get outta here, I thought. The madman grabbed my pantleg, on his knees.
Tell me, Dernet, I gave it a try, where can I find the girl with the scar on her chin who sought out your presence?
Walk straight down the street and you will find her, he yelled. That wasn’t good enough. He kept pawin at me.
People are diseased and unhappy, said Dernet … perhaps you will find her, but living in terrible sin.
He was startin to piss me off, I shoved him away, pretty gently though … those tapestries were covered with crucifixions, but not of Christ, they were women. Women’s bodies. Just lookin at em made me sick.
I took the elevator up by mistake, but at least it gave me a chance to calm down. There’s gotta be some normal people, I thought, look at Černá, she’s not … depraved. Or maybe I’m just chasin a phantom, but c’mon, I can’t be that dumb.
I checked out the buildings one by one. I knew I couldn’t keep it up long, but I didn’t wanna throw in the towel just yet. Guess I’ll hafta go back to Balkon. With a bonus check.
Here I was trampin around South City like Little Boy Know-No thing,* it was no good. I’d lost the trail. I hate when that happens. My only option now was Rudolf. They want me, I’ll make em a deal. Though I didn’t much like the idea a them knowin what … who … mattered to me. That’s no good. That’s nobody’s business but mine. Once they know that, they got you in the palm a their hand.
Yep, eatin in stand-up snackbars, and yep, ridin the tram … same scenery, same faces, life as usual.
I lay on a bed in the former flat of the ex-pack, tryin not to think … about nobodyhood … where’s Micka now, I wonder, who’s he forgin plans with these days … Bohler and his beauty must be settlin in by now … so Sharky really went and signed up, yep, said he’d been in the army before … said everybody over there has. And David. Poor guy.
I got up and grabbed a rag. That bloody thumbprint of his was still on the light switch downstairs.
When I got back, I noticed the place was different. I stood in the doorway … and sniffed. Something had changed. I listened. Someone was in the bathroom. Only so was my jacket with the knives. And the photos … I yanked the door open and hopped outta the way. It was just a soapy Vasil, he gave a shriek of horror. I stood there snickerin till finally it hit him … but he kept screechin and fumblin around … blinded by the soap … snagged hold a somethin, my jacket. Asshole! I said, yankin it away, you’re gonna get it all wet, tossed him a towel and then I froze.
First I thought they were just ornaments, but then I realized he had fingernails growin outta his chest … like armor … like some creatures inside him were pokin their thumbs out, like pieces a mica or somethin. The nails were in his skin.
Sorry, Vasil, I stuttered, I’ll be next door … I shut the door and went to lie down again. It’ll never be over. It’ll never be over for me, I told my pillow.
I think he woulda split if I hadn’t been lyin there. Woulda walked out the door and gone somewhere else. Most likely back to the train station. That’s how ashamed Vasil was. He tried to rush past me, red all over.
Don’t be stupid, hell, I said, your business what genes you got. There’s people missin legs, ears, so what?