All night long we waited for the arrival of the morning shift. For the sunrise over the brickyard in the valley. Some were just waking up, others, mud-splattered, were just arriving. Ridiculously baggy coveralls, a quilted jacket here and there, earmuffs. How they would recognize each other in that dim morning light, I had no idea. But then Smoothy hoisted himself. Nudged me with his elbow. He’d seen the one he was after, the sixth. We walked to the dormitory, me in the lead, equipped with my ridiculous forged papers in case there was a guard. In case it was a guard from the opposing team, I think Smoothy was equipped with something else. But I didn’t ask. One time he told me their country’s secret service was called Fighting Fish Under Water. And what about yours? I asked. I take orders from General Vang, he snapped.
And then one day with Černá, my loved one, it happened … the metamorphosis. We were together so much now, knew so much about each other, I was already long familiar with the drawing she had on the skin of her thigh, I knew it by heart, but that didn’t prevent … each touch, each kiss, from being ever closer, ever stronger, just like in those trashy romance novels … one morning she screamed, I woke with a start, still inside her, tried to move, but it didn’t work, I shifted a little to the side to give her breasts room to breathe, but … we were joined. We couldn’t separate. Does it hurt? I asked, still dazed with sleep. No, but I can’t get up or anything!
We rolled over and tried to crawl … me on my back, clutching her shoulders and thighs, feeling her shoulderblades move, it was totally exhausting, we stopped for a breather … we were like a naked … spider, a new creature, some weird model, skin and hair and nails, eyes … Sister, I told her, I love you … Well, it’s about time it came out, and I love you too … the old words relieved us, that’s hard stuff to say … and even though I couldn’t move, I could feel her moving inside, very gentle and tender … persistent … waves, circling, and it happened … But I can’t have a child with my sister, flashed through my mind as we fell into a tighter tangle, now also joined with our arms and legs and tongues … I wanted to feel her with my tongue because I’d found that when I loved her that way, it was even more beautiful and complex than speech … but the path I traveled inside her, moist and tender, what I learned to achieve with my tongue and its caresses, in her and from her … making her sigh with bliss … was a path beyond voice, which is more than a word and can’t be expressed in words … only now … we couldn’t separate.
Hey, my dearest, said Černá, if I could get up now … maybe, coffee? Sure, but, I said … you … you’ve got me clamped … Huh, really? No way, you’re the one that got big … get out!
But she had to admit, it was at least a two-sided matter … I glanced toward the door over her naked shoulder, terrified at the thought of them coming, anyone from out there, and seeing us, surely they’d want to separate us, and that would be dangerous … we were totally defenseless in this new thing of love’s, panic seized me, Černá disappeared underneath me, I pawed my way to the door to at least make sure it was locked … she threw a tantrum … banged her head on the sideboard, bit me, her hair flowed down over my face, I couldn’t see … then she stopped holding on and it hurt, so I laid on my back again and she got on top and rested … I never asked you before, but tell me, where’d you get those scars … No! I’ll tell you that when I feel like it! Are they … old? She burst out laughing … This, you mean? Yeah, that’s old, way old … she kept laughing … Hadraba said you were nasty … don’t seem like it to me. Then I glimpsed movement, her hand fumbling in my pants pocket, she pulled it out … I heard a click … Černá, no! Don’t! Leaning over, she pricked me from behind with the knife, gently, but I was startled … she lifted her head and looked at me, knife in hand, wiggled her ass, I was still inside her … Forgive me … I read somewhere that shock makes it relax … Sorry, she kissed me to make me stop laughing … handed me the knife, guess she realized it was her after all … I jabbed her gorgeous ass a little, twice, but nothin … Wait, she said, we gotta wait till I’m not expecting it … So we chatted … tried to make coffee, it was pretty funny, I tried cold water, it didn’t work, neither did hot … Černá … you’re just a little too run-down, scraped-up, a she-wolf like you, what’s another shock or two … Let’s stay like this, she whispered, because … the circling motion inside her was starting up again and I fell into her and again we were more together and it could’ve gone on and on … we might even’ve been able to overcome … death, and stay that way … like figures in an old engraving, characters embroidered on a rug … but then the doorbell sounded, jangling, we froze.
And all at once we came loose, tumbling onto the bed, I sat up. And a voice said: Excuse me please … Černá exhaled deeply … is Miss Moriak … ová there? Yeah … Křepelka here, I’m from the Brno branch of the Philatelists Union, please, could you keep something for Mr. Dráp again, and may I come in, Miss? No! And do you know, did Mr. Dráp happen to leave an envelope with you? No! An I don’t have time.
The weirdo left. I was disappointed, never saw a philatelist before. We caressed each other a little with every part of our bodies, but since we didn’t get much sleep the night before and I had the day off … we fell back asleep in a close embrace, but it wasn’t as close anymore. I’m bummed, I whispered, hugging her tighter … I know … it was a morning miracle, a metamorphosis … we had no other needs … and if life can be like this, even just for a while … then I’ll take it, I thought as I fell asleep, and under my eyelids again I saw faces, colors of chaos and spinning circles and metal towers stabbing into the air … but it was different, all of a sudden I knew why … not that I understood, but it was … joyful, I was part of the chaos, it made sense … even chaos had its own color, I saw it but forgot it again right away, like a smile.
When I woke up and moved to get closer to Černá, the magic was gone, she stood at the window … there’s somethin goin on at Dráp’s place, she said, somebody went in there … go take a look, please … her scared … that amazed me, livin here so long on her own. Up in the attic.
First thing I noticed was one of the floor tiles … overhead nothin but roofbeams, appallingly dusty … my steps stirred up dust, rising in columns, sunlight poured down through the dormers … the tile glared, a sunbeam glancing off, leaving its light, and the door flew open … a boy stood there, chompin on a piece of gum … Mr. Dráp? I said politely … By Jove, the brat said, get over here, dudes, look what the cat dragged in … the other scamps straggled out, they were a little older … the toughest punker, forelock in his face, says to me: Step off, citizen, lest ya come to harm … scamps combine the old tongue with the new, like me, only they donno beans … Heh, it’s the big cheese, screeched one of em, carrottop, medieval breeches, chain around his neck, wrists punched to make it look like he’d slashed himself … another crept out from behind him … there were five of em, that’s too many, and the last one had a dog … growling and drooling, it was a fight dog, a bigget, the illegal kind they use for gladiator fights, pimps bored with pseudogames love em … slowly I edged out … saw papers scattered all over the flat, upended chairs, and in back … some kind of crate … guess they’re lookin for somethin … one of em, a tall blond with moves like a queer … walked up to me, bobbin flirtatiously, I reached into my pocket as if … the other boys just watched, guess he was the boss … Hey, pussy, the fop says … whose’re you? You wouldn’t by any chance be comin from … Brno, would ja? It dawned on me. I’m no phitelalist, uh, philatelist, I live here … Where is that pecker then, motherfucker! the blond said. Shit … he raised his hands and a demented leer spread across his face … one of the stooges leaped to his side … easy, Miran, we’ll snag im, we promised ya … He went out, I said. Snap to it, pipsqueaks, the black-haired one next to Miran yelped … carrottop and another one in a grungy red cap took off down the stairs … still three left … the boss, probly a speed freak … three’s still plenty, specially after my sugar-sweet experience this morning … and that dog! … my legs started shakin, I couldn’t help it, I had somethin now, Černá, and … the third brat says: First I’ll sic Jolly Joker here on im, chew his balls off, that’ll be a blast … member that time with the Derelicts? I mean check this ugly fuck out, dude’s from Brno, space case. Who’re you, said the boss. I live here in the attic. But … said the blond, and something happened to his eyes, but … there’s just one place up here! Yep, I nodded, that seemed to impress him. So you’re … that means you must be … Moriak. Morti! Yeah, I live here with my sis. Uh … the blond gulped, the second brat took a step back, and as I … noncommittally and basically sweetly … glanced over at the remaining boy, saw him lean against a beam, study the rafters, he patted the dog on the ass, it sat. But it was eyein me.