“Because we love you and we know it kills you to be apart from them. Your father wants to talk to you, and you want to talk to him, I know you do!” she answered, in a pleading wail.
“It doesn’t matter! None of this matters! This isn’t about me or my dad, or even my mom. This is about Hamilton, and not one blessed thing the two of you cook up will change the fact that my brother is a raving lunatic, at least as far as I’m involved. This simply won’t work.”
We argued some more and she stomped away. We had several such arguments in the days leading up to the graduation, and I wasn’t winning any of them. Finally the day of the graduation came. We left at the crack of dawn in my car, with Charlie bundled into his car seat in the back. Dum-Dum we locked into the laundry room, with water and some Puppy Chow. It takes about an hour-and-a-half to get to Newark from our house, no matter whether you drive down to the Beltway and around the city to I-95, or cut across northern Baltimore County to pick up 95 directly. Both Charlie and Marilyn slept on the way. I was simply praying for a massive car crash to delay us for eight or nine hours.
Graduation was being held in the college stadium, which is certainly big enough, but made me wonder what would happen if it rained. Delaware is a fair sized state school, much larger than RPI, and would probably be graduating about 4,000 students. If everybody had four guests, and I knew that was probably low, there were probably going to be at least 16,000 in the throng. Joy!
I was right. The place was a zoo. The stadium only holds about 20,000 people, and it was full. Thankfully the weather held off and was nice. I had on a lightweight suit and Marilyn was wearing a very pretty dress, and even Charlie had on a new outfit. We sat there through the ceremony, couldn’t see where Suzie was, never heard her name being called, and waited until we could escape. Marilyn had a much better opinion of it all then I did. Afterwards we were to meet Suzie at one of the numbered side gates, so as soon as everybody got up, we headed down to the gate.
We maneuvered down to the designated gate, which was near where we sat, and waited for my sister to show. I couldn’t see any sign of my family, so maybe they were the ones in the car crash. I could always hope.
I looked over at Marilyn and thought she looked good. I thought the same about myself and Charlie. I felt like an idiot worrying about how we looked in front of people who weren’t expecting us and didn’t want to see us. Objectively, I was probably about as good looking and healthy as I had ever been in my life, either lives. I was staying fit, about 185 or so, and since I had gotten out of the service I had let my hair grow out. It wasn’t long, but it showed some of my natural waviness, and I had trimmed my mustache and goatee earlier in the week. I was still my natural dirty blond shade, and I hadn’t started graying yet. I was in a good suit, a muted light charcoal plaid, and I had my good black and brass cane. Marilyn looked just as good. She was still going to the gym with me most mornings, even if she grumbled and complained about it, and was far more toned and in shape than in our previous life. Today she was wearing a very nice blue print knee length dress, along with medium heel open toed pumps. Even Charlie had on a nice clean blue and yellow outfit, along with a little ‘Blue Hen’ sunhat on, all of which had been a Christmas present from Suzie. (The school colors are blue and yellow, and the school mascot and teams are the Blue Hens.)
After about five minutes we heard a squeal and Suzie came running towards us, her gown flapping in the breeze, and one hand up and holding her mortarboard on her head. “You made it!”
She looked more than cute, she looked beautiful. She had really blossomed as she grew up, and was very much the image of her mother, although she smiled a lot more. As soon as she got closer she waved at Charlie. “Charlie! Remember me? I’m your Aunt Suzie!”
Charlie’s face lit up, and it was obvious he did remember her. He babbled out, “Aun’ Soo! Aun’ Soo!” and struggled to get out of his stroller. Marilyn set him loose and he toddled over to Suzie, who laughed and picked him up.
“Well aren’t you a big boy!”
“Aun’ Soo! Aun’ Soo!” Both Marilyn and I smiled at this. Not all of my family was fucked up. Charlie reached up and began grabbing for Suzie’s tassel, which fascinated him. Eventually she simply took her mortarboard off her head and put it on his, and he crowed with laughter. “Aun’ Soo!”
“Oh my God!” I heard from the side, in a very familiar voice. I turned away from my sister and my son, to face my mother. She was standing there on the walkway, as people moved around her, a look of disbelief on her face, her mouth open and her eyes wide. She was still as tall and as slim and as coldly beautiful as ever. Following behind her, on her right side was my father, also with a startled look on his face, and on her left side was Hamilton, with a much less accepting look. It was more like sheer hatred on his part.
“Hello, Mother, Father.” I said. Around me I could feel the temperature dropping. Marilyn inched closer to my side, and then went behind me and took Charlie from Suzie.
“You’re not supposed to be here!” hissed Hamilton.
I turned to face him. “Good morning to you, too, Hamilton.” I turned away from him and looked back at my mother. “You’re looking well, Mom. You, too, Dad.”
Hamilton was on the verge of saying something more. His face was red and had nothing but rage on it. Mom laid a hand on his arm to restrain him, and my father glanced at him nervously. “I didn’t know you were coming, Carling,” said Mom.
I didn’t have to answer, since Suzie piped up, “I invited him.”
Mom looked at her. “You should have mentioned something to me.”
Suzie simply answered, a touch belligerently, “Carl is my brother, and he will always be invited to any family events with me.”
Across from me, my father visibly winced at this, but his eyes never left Charlie. He half-whispered, “Is that…”
“This is our son, Dad. Charles Robert Buckman.”
“We named him after both our fathers,” added Marilyn, unnecessarily, to my mind, anyway.
Mom was very tight lipped, but Dad was on the verge of crying. He looked good. His hair was totally white by now, and he had lost some weight, but he had it to lose. I guessed he was about 235, which was about 15 or more pounds down from the last time I had seen him, at the wedding.
He tore his eyes off his grandson and looked at me. It had been four years for him as well. He looked me over and eyed the cane. “What happened?”
I shrugged. “I made one jump too many. I’m out of the service now, Dad.”
“Nice kid,” sneered Hamilton. “Who’s the father?” Marilyn and Suzie looked daggers at him, and Mom tightened her grip on his forearm. I ignored him. I was on the verge of saying something to Dad, when the idiot had to pipe up again, he couldn’t stand to be ignored. “I asked who the father was.”
I looked over at my brother. “We heard you the first time, Hamilton. We’re simply ignoring you. Now behave and let the grownups talk. Thank you.”
Hamilton’s face reddened further, but Mom kept a grip on him.
Dad looked over at Marilyn, who was now holding onto Charlie tightly. Charlie could sense something was amiss, and was clinging to her. “What do you call him?” he asked.
“Charlie,” she answered. She turned her face to our son and said, “Charlie, this is your grandfather. Can you say hello?” Charlie simply turned his head away and tried to hide.
Dad said quietly, “Charlie,” and then looked at Marilyn. “Can I hold him?”
Marilyn looked at Charlie, and then at me. She looked nervous, so I answered, “I think Charlie’s a little shy. Maybe later, after he gets used to you.”