Renee’s eyes burned from lack of sleep and she had to close the laptop, but she couldn’t stop thinking that the memo might be the key to this whole thing. Barnes was telling her something, but she was too exhausted to see it. Whatever it was could wait until after she had gotten some sleep. Digging a pill bottle out of her bag, she popped an Ambien out into her palm and swallowed it with a sip of water.
The jet prepared to land at Jalalabad Airfield eight hours after leaving Ireland. Renee felt the steward shaking her awake and slowly opened her eyes. She’d been dreaming, and the transition back to the waking world was a journey she didn’t want to take.
Groggily, she sat up, the side of her face damp from a light sheen of sweat. Renee took the offered bottle of water and allowed her empty gaze to wander around the cabin. Opening the cap and taking a drink from the cold bottle, she remembered staring at a slumped form behind the wheel of a smoking vehicle. Just like the nights before, when she finally pulled the person free, she was staring at herself.
Light blue carpet stretched from the bulkhead to the rear of the cabin and offset the dark brown leather of the plush chairs and sofa. Even the cool air that circulated through the cabin smelled expensive. It also caused chills to run up her arms as she finished the last of the water. The steward asked if she needed something to eat, and she forced a cheery smile.
“Yes, please.”
She slid open the window shade and watched the flaps deploy as he returned with a sandwich wrapped in cellophane.
“I thought you could use this too,” he said, and kindly handed her a Red Bull.
“You’re a lifesaver.”
She could feel the pressure change in her ears as the jet descended for their final approach. Unwrapping the cellophane, Renee took a bite of the turkey sandwich, savoring the flavorful sourdough bread and crisp lettuce.
“Don’t get used to the VIP treatment, girl,” she said to herself as the jet touched down and taxied to one of the private runways.
Her first deployment to Afghanistan had taken three days and spanned three countries. She had ridden in a tiny seat, jammed between two bulky soldiers on their first deployment. Their nervous chatter had annoyed her, but not nearly as much as the rough ride of the transport.
Renee’s hand slipped back to her lucky necklace, and she idly slid the pendant back and forth across its chain as she chewed. Her first tour had changed her. The violence and deprivation of combat had blasted away at the facets of her humanity. When she learned that her father had suddenly taken ill, her first thought was what to do about the mission that was coming up. By the time she got to a phone, he’d passed away, but by then death was so commonplace that it took a day for the tears to form.
The key to being a good soldier, her first squad leader had once told her, was the ability to suffer through anything while continuing to push forward. In Iraq, they called it “the suck,” and like a good soldier, Renee had embraced its suffering. She knew now that while a good soldier merely embraces suffering, a great soldier always asks for more.
Renee opened the frosted silver and blue can of Red Bull and washed down the remains of her meal. By the time the plane rolled to a stop, she had fixed her hair and was wearing the smile that everyone expected of her.
The sun was just beginning to rise over the Tora Bora Mountains as she thanked the steward and stepped off the plane. Renee’s eyes glanced over the rusted-out hangar that had once been used to repair Russian attack helicopters. It was too small for the larger cargo planes and had bullet holes stitched across the metal siding from when the United States had taken the airfield.
Grimy windows covered in dirt and cobwebs muted the sunlight from the outside, and the concrete floor was stained with oil and jet fuel. Renee saw a man with a closely trimmed Mohawk leaning against a late-model Chevy Suburban that sat running a few feet away from the nose of the jet.
Tattoos covered both of his deeply tanned arms before disappearing into his sleeves. A white scar extended from his scalp down the right side of his face and over his jawbone. As Renee’s feet settled onto the hangar floor, two more thick-necked men got out of the truck and walked around to meet her.
“Well, if it isn’t Kevin and the famous Z-boys. I hope you have my gear,” Renee said.
“Yes, ma’am, it’s in the back. I hope you haven’t gone soft after hanging with all those California surfer boys,” the burly Mohawked man replied with a smile. Taking two giant steps forward, he grabbed Renee up in a big bear hug.
“I wasn’t even gone a week. Put me down. I’m supposed to be in charge.”
It felt good to be home.
“I hear you made quite the impression back in California,” he said after setting her back on the concrete floor.
“It was an experience,” she replied.
Renee had handpicked the Green Beret to be her team leader. It was a decision she had never regretted. A true warrior, Kevin had the innate ability to find the enemy on even the most mundane missions. No matter how heavy the fighting got, his team always made it back home. An offhand comment by an army officer had earned them the name “Zombie Squad” after he said the team “took more hits than the undead.” The nickname stuck, but for brevity’s sake was cut down to “Z-boys.”
“Good to see you, Bones,” Renee said, greeting another familiar face, who had gotten his nickname because of his striking resemblance to Phil Mickelson’s caddie.
This was her home, among warriors whose sacrifices left their bodies scarred and their eyes blank and distant. The men of the Zombie Squad had the unique swagger born from self-awareness. Outsiders assumed their aloofness was a result of arrogance, but what they never saw was their deep warmth and love for their brothers in arms.
“Is this the new guy?” she asked, moving to the rear of the truck.
“Yeah, his name’s Tyler. We got him after Milo was smoked at Gardez; he’s good people.” Introducing herself politely, she took in the scruffy beard that hid the boyish face but failed to mask the man’s steely gaze.
“Ma’am,” he said, his lower lip bulging from a large pinch of dip.
Renee looked down at his hand, which was rough and covered in the scar tissue indicative of a bad burn. His ring finger had been partially amputated and the words “nice try” had been tattooed below the missing knuckle.
“Welcome to the team.”
Renee tossed her bag into rear of the truck and grabbed an M4 from the duffel that lay open. Pulling the charging handle to the rear, she ensured the weapon was clear and on safe before inspecting it. Once she was satisfied that the rifle was serviceable, she began checking the rest of her faded gear.
“Renee, the general wants to see you right away,” Kevin said.
“Yeah, I was hoping to get a shower first. Can’t it wait?”
“Uhh, no. He told me to come and get you — not that I wouldn’t have anyways,” he stammered.
“What’s going on?” she asked, zeroing in on his uncharacteristically serious tone.
“A CIA black site got hit last night. Someone sent us a video.”
“Black site? I didn’t know we had any more of those in country.”
“None of us did.”
Renee slammed the rear doors, wondering if it was connected with either Decklin or Barnes or both. “Okay, let’s go see the old man.” She shrugged and moved to the front of the truck.
Jumping into the passenger seat, she slid on a pair of dark Oakleys and cranked up the A/C. The sun was halfway to its apex and already burning brightly in the east. Kevin pulled out of the hangar door, which had been slid open for Renee’s arrival, and she could see the heat already beginning to form a mirage above the black asphalt of the tarmac. The flight line was alive with the frantic bustling of man and machine, and through the air-conditioning vents she could smell the distinctive odor of burning jet fuel.