“. . . Why so?”
“I’m not a great believer in things happening for a reason. But in this instance, it seems quite clear we’ve been given an opportunity to achieve redress.”
Only Daisy was unbothered by this, and remained staring into space.
Al and Avril shared a look.
Al said, “What are you saying, CC? You want to make this stuff public? Because I’m not sure you’ve thought through the implications.”
“I think I have.”
“If there was wrongdoing—Christ, what am I saying? We know there was wrongdoing, we were part of it. We were Operation Pitchfork. Malone might be dead, but his deeds live on, yes? If we make this public, force the Park to admit its complicity in murder and torture and all the rest of it, where does that leave us? Because I don’t want to be making headlines my time of life.”
Avril said, “Have you found religion, Charles? Or a black spot on your lung? Because whatever it is, this urge to make a clean breast, bear in mind you’re not the only one this involves. If you go to the wall, we all go.”
“No one’s going to the wall. Can I make that clear? I have no plans to go down in flames, and if I had, I wouldn’t take you with me.” CC raised a palm, as if inviting a high five, then let it fall. It was an oddly theatrical gesture. “But we’re in possession of proof of something the Park has long denied, that it was responsible for an operation which gave a madman free rein to indulge in carnage. They need to know we have it. And we need to know what they’re prepared to offer to keep it in its box.”
“So. Just so we’re on the same page. You want to blackmail the Park about the details of an operation we were part of.”
“Who better?”
“To threaten we’ll go public—”
“With proof.”
“Go public with the details of an operation we helped implement.”
“That involved at least thirteen murders. That we know of.”
“And rape,” said Daisy. “Let’s not forget rape.”
Avril said, “No, CC. It’s madness.”
“We’ll be waving a stick, that’s all. All they need to know is, we have a stick. And they’ll back down.”
“And what does backing down look like? You expect an apology? ‘We’re sorry we made you work with a piece of human detritus like Dougie Malone?’ We agreed to do it, CC. We might not have liked it, but that was never in the job description, and it’s late to complain about it now. We knew what we were getting into.”
“Did we? Did we really? Because nobody spelled out the consequences, or I don’t remember them doing so. I remember David Cartwright polishing his glasses while he lectured us on the greater good. About making sacrifices for the men and women in the street. For the good of the country. And he’s dead now, and I’m sure he gave the country his best, but he died in a five-star nursing home between clean sheets, and as long as he had his marbles, he lived in a house with a wrap-around garden.” CC was tiring of being on his feet; at any rate he reached out a hand and steadied himself against the wall. “But maybe it’s not the job we’d be complaining about, Avvy. Maybe it’s the way we were treated afterwards. I don’t know about the rest of you, but old age—which I’m a little further into than you are, so you’ll bow to my greater experience—is an absolute fucker. Absolute. Fucker. I never expected to end my days in luxury, but I didn’t expect to be worried about turning the heating on in the dead of winter. Or making a single-serving meal last two nights. I gave my best years, same as you did, and didn’t ask for a lot in return. But I didn’t expect to be given so little. And don’t tell me the three of you are faring better, because I’ll know that for a story.”
They let this settle before Al said, “I had to sell my fishing gear. Didn’t get half what it was worth, but I needed a winter coat. And they’re not cheap.”
Avril said, “I took in a lodger. It didn’t work out.”
Daisy said, “I lived in a gutter for eighteen months.”
They fell quiet for a while until Avril said, “Okay, you win.”
Only Daisy laughed.
Avril looked at CC and said, “I’m not disagreeing with your analysis. But we can’t do this. We’d be opening a can of snakes.”
“A can that needs opening.”
“We could end up in prison.”
“I’m not going to pretend there’s no risk involved.”
“I don’t want to die in a cell.”
“And I don’t want to live on baked beans and a two-bar fire.”
“It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
“Glad you see it that way. But I’ve ten years on you, and frankly, I’m running out of alternatives.”
“Are you dying?”
“No. This isn’t about going out with a bang. It’s about . . . avoiding a whimper. They owe us, Avril. You, me and Al. And especially Daisy.”
Al said, “We’ve mentioned prison. But that’s the least of it, if the Park decides not to play ball.”
“If it was just one of us,” CC said, “a lone wolf, yes, they might try to bury their mess. But four of us? Our ages? They’d be mad to try. It would make a worse stink than what they’re trying to keep under wraps. Besides, we didn’t survive Northern Ireland without knowing how to make a brush-past.”
“A brush-past? What were you planning on doing, dropping a note through First Desk’s front door? We’ll be on seven kinds of CCTV before we’re in her postcode.”
Avril said, “Why are you even talking like that? It’s not going to happen.”
“I have her email address,” said CC.
“Her personal email?”
“The young woman in the library I mentioned, she used to be Taverner’s PA. And she doesn’t always keep an eye on her phone.”
Avril said, “You looted her mobile? That’s a serious violation of her privacy.”
“Wasn’t it, though? On the other hand, we have, collectively, abetted numerous murders. Scrolling through someone’s contact list doesn’t make me feel I’ve plumbed the depths of misbehaviour.”
Daisy made a noise which might have been a giggle. When Avril threw her a glance the sound was history; the face that issued it blank.
“Anyway,” CC said. “That’s it. Why we’re here. I’m not suggesting we shake them down for millions, just a fair sum. Al?”
“No. I’m sorry, CC. But no.”
“Avvy?”
“You know we can’t. It’s madness.”
“Daisy?”
All three turned to her, as she broke off her study of nothing much.
“I think we should do it,” she said.
CC breathed something. It might have been “Tied vote.”
“Daisy, love,” Avril said gently. “We can’t. You know why.”
“But they owe us.”
“That they do,” said CC.
“They owe me.”
“We did our jobs,” said Avril. “We did our duty. We can’t throw that away now.”
“Like they threw us away? Why not?”
Because because because, thought Avvy. You know why not.
CC was reaching for the Bushmills, breaking its seal. “I think we need this now, don’t you? There’s no ice, you’ll be relieved to hear.”
“We haven’t made a decision,” said Al. “There’s nothing to toast.”
“I love you all,” CC said. No one had been expecting that. “And this will be fine. Trust me.”
He began to pour: good big healthy measures.
“Please don’t say what you’re going to say,” Avril said.
“I’m sorry, Avvy.”
“You’ve already done it, haven’t you? You’ve set it all in motion.”
“It’s what Daisy wants. And she, more than any of us, deserves recompense.”
“This will destroy us. You’ve destroyed us.”