"They're coming down from the house to get you," she warned.
"Fuck." He didn't need to glance back to confirm what she was saying. Eppstadt would enjoy what came next, of course: having Todd arrested for assault, hauled up before a judge. It would be headlines tomorrow; and attached to it every detail of what Maxine had proclaimed to her guests. Burrows would be shooed out of hiding, wherever he was, to tell his half of the story; or -- if he chose to stand by his Hippocratic oath and remain silent -- then somebody would invent the details, or a nurse would spill them. However it was verified (as though anything needed verification) the secret was out.
But his story was only part of this. Katya? What about her secret? If they got her into the spotlight as well as Todd, then the mystery of would become part of tomorrow's headlines. The sanctuary would be violated by police and press; and when they'd gone, by the public.
"I can't bear this," he said. He was ready to weep, for them both.
She took hold of his hand. "Then don't," she said.
She stood up, facing the sea, pulling on his hand so that he stood with her. There were a few lights out there in the ocean, very remote. Otherwise it was completely dark.
"Walk with me," she said.
She couldn't mean: into the water?
Yes she did.
She was already walking, and he was following, not because he liked the idea of striding off into the icy, roaring Pacific, but because the alternative -- the mockery of the audience on the shore; all the interrogations that awaited him -- was too much to contemplate. He wanted to be away from all that, and if the only direction he could take led him into the ocean, then so be it. He had her hand in his. That was all he needed. For the first time in his life, that was all he needed.
"There are currents ... " he said.
"I know."
"And sharks."
"I'm sure."
He almost looked back but stopped himself.
"Don't bother," she said. "You know what they're doing."
"Yes ... "
"Staring at us. Pointing at us."
"Coming after us?"
"Yes. But not where we're going."
The water was up to Todd's waist now; and higher still on Katya, who was a good six inches shorter than he. Though the waves weren't large tonight as they'd been at the height of the storm, they still had sufficient power to throw them backwards when they broke against their bodies. The force of one wave separated them, and Katya was carried back to shore a few yards. Todd turned and went back to get her, glancing up at the beach as he did so. Though they were probably less then twenty-five yards out, the land already seemed very distant: a line of sand scattered with people who'd come down to the water's edge to get a better view of whatever was going on. And beyond them, the houses, all bright with lights; Maxine's in particular. Down the path between the houses he could see the flashing yellow and blue of a police-car. It would only be a matter of time, he thought, before they sent a helicopter after them, with a searchlight.
He reached Katya and caught hold of her hand. The glimpse of land had filled him with new determination.
"Come on," he said. "I'll carry you."
She didn't protest this; rather let him gather her up in his arms so that they could continue their escape. He had become, he thought, a monster in an old horror movie: grabbing the girl and carrying her off into the night. Except that it was she who'd led him thus far. So that made them both monsters, didn't it?
She slipped her arms around his neck, and lay her head against his chest. The water was so deep now that when the waves came and rifted them up, his toes no longer touched the bottom. Curiously, he wasn't afraid. They were going to drown, most probably, but what the hell? The water was so cold his body was already becoming numb, and his eyelids felt heavy.
"Keep ... hold ... of me ... " he said to her.
She pressed her mouth to his neck. She was warmer than he was, which for some inexplicable reason he found amusing. She, who was so old, was the one with the fever. The thought of that, of her body's heat, made him voice his one regret.
"We ... never did it properly ... in a bed, I mean."
"We will," she said, kissing him on the mouth.
Another wave came, larger than most that had preceded it, and picked them both up.
They did not break their kiss, though the water closed over their heads.
On the shore, there was plenty of commotion, but Tammy kept away from the heart of it, moving off down the beach. She had watched Todd and Katya getting smaller and smaller, her panic growing. Now they were gone. Perhaps she just couldn't make them out any longer, and they'd reappear in a moment, but she didn't have very high hopes of that. There had been such determination in the way they'd headed out into the darkness; plainly they weren't going out to enjoy a little swim, then turn round and head back to shore. They were escaping together, in the only direction left for them.
She had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach: part horror at what she'd just witnessed, part envy. He had made his choice, finally. And now, he was gone.
She heard the throb of rotor-blades, and she looked up to see a police helicopter coming from the south, following the line of the surf as it approached the place where the lovers had disappeared. Its powerful spotlight illuminated the water with uncanny brightness.
Tammy looked back at the people assembled along the shoreline. Almost all the guests had vacated the house and were milling around on the sand. She couldn't see Maxine, but she could name a few famous folks, mainly from the color of their clothes. Glenn Close was in white; Brad Pitt in a powder blue suit; Madonna was in red. They were briefly illuminated by the flood of the search-light, then the helicopter veered off seaward, and Tammy followed its progress as it swooped down close to the water. Surely Todd and Katya couldn't have gone that far out. Even if the current had caught them, they couldn't have been swept more than a few hundred yards in the short time since they'd entered the water.
But then the current wasn't the only variable here, was it? There was also their own ambition. They had gone out intending to be lost. And lost they were.
Suddenly, she was crying. Standing outside the wedge of light thrown by the house, and beyond the presence of anyone who could possible comfort her; dirty and cold and alone, she sobbed like a baby. She made no attempt to stop the flood. 'Better out than in,' her mother had always said; and it was true. She could never think straight when she had a bout of tears waiting in the wings. It was wiser to just weep them out, and be done with them.
At last her grief began to subside, and she cleared the tears from her cheeks with her hands. The helicopter was now some distance from the shore, and had dropped even closer to the water, hovering over one particular place. She tried to make sense of the waterscape. Had the men in the helicopter located the bodies? She stared at the spotlit water until her eyes started to ache, but she could make no sense of what she was seeing. Just the spume, being whipped up off the water, so that it looked like snow in the column of white light.
After a few minutes the helicopter moved away from that position, turning off its search-light for a while as it headed down the beach. When the light was turned on again and the brightness struck the water the search had moved much further out to sea. Still Tammy kept watching, desperately trying to make sense of the sight. But at last it simply became too frustrating, and turning her back on the water, she walked back up the side of the house to the street, where many of the same people she'd seen down by the water earlier, enjoying the spectacle along with their champagne, were now waiting to pick up their cars. They were quiet, eyes downcast, as though they felt just a tiny prick of guilt at having treated the death of one of their number as a spectator sport.