Anger surged up, hot and bright, mixing with the panic exploding inside him. His hands squeezed into fists beneath his armpits to keep from reaching for her. “You would seriously just walk away from me and everything we have together?” It was unbelievable. She must be too pissed at him to think straight at the moment, it was the only explanation.
Honor stopped and threw her hands up in helpless frustration before looking back at him. “Do you think this is easy for me? It’s breaking my fucking heart! I feel like I’m being torn in two right now! I can’t…” She paused, sucked in a shuddering breath. “My sister almost took her own life because of us. I can’t take losing another sibling, Liam, and you know why. Please, please try to understand that. All I’m asking for is some more time. Just give me that much.”
Liam’s attitude softened slightly. She’d lost her younger sister Faith to leukemia at five years old, and Honor had never gotten over it. No one in her family had, which is why Charity’s suicide attempt was even more painful for them.
Liam wasn’t willing to lose Honor over this though. If she wanted time, if she truly thought it would help, then he’d give it to her, even if he knew the end result would be the same. But on one condition.
“I have no problem with giving you time as long as I know you’ll stand up for us. As long as I know you won’t lie about us just to spare their feelings. And this isn’t all just because of Charity,” he pointed out quietly. Her parents, especially her father, would continue to be a huge problem. Maybe she didn’t see it that way, but they would. “Don’t back down from this, and don’t lie to them. Let them try to adjust to the idea of us getting married if you want but don’t hide the truth and pretend we’re not spending the rest of our lives together. I won’t live like that.”
Honor lowered her hands, her expression becoming shuttered despite the tears on her cheeks, more remote than he’d ever seen it. It made him want to punch something. “You want me to lose my family forever, maybe be the reason my sister kills herself? I can’t live with that, so don’t ask me to.”
“And what about us?” he snapped, the anger taking over again. “You wanted time, I just gave it to you. But no way in hell am I willing to back away from us because of them.” This was it, the moment of truth. Either she wanted him, no strings attached, or she didn’t. He still couldn’t believe she’d actually been willing to walk out that door.
Her face fell, her eyes brimming with disappointment as she shook her head slowly. “I never thought you’d be like them. Not ever.” It was clear she meant her fucked-up family, who had forced her into this miserable situation. He didn’t appreciate being lumped in with them.
“I’m nothing like them, and you know it. I’m trying to protect you and make you open your eyes. Can’t you see that?”
She snorted. “How is making things worse between my family and me protecting me?”
This was so fucked up he didn’t even know where to begin. He continued to stare at her, the tension in him winding so tight he felt like he would snap. “So instead you’re going to sacrifice your own happiness and do what Charity and your parents want, out of guilt? Jesus, are you hearing yourself right now? Calling off the engagement and walking away from me isn’t the answer, Honor. It’s not going to make her better.”
Her refusal to see that floored him. She was acting on some misguided sense of guilt and responsibility, one he was sure her parents and probably Charity herself had sharpened to a fine point over the past few days.
“Well knowing we’re still planning to get married would definitely make her worse.” She gave a hollow, humorless laugh and shook her head. “I don’t see any other option.”
She was quitting on them. Giving up without thinking about him or herself. It was all about her family. Always would be.
Liam dragged a hand down his face, wanting to scream in frustration. “They’ve had you alone for the past four days, probably working on you the whole time, giving you guilt trip after guilt trip. God, you’ve basically allowed them to brainwash you against me.” That infuriated him. How the hell did she not see what was really going on here?
“Brainwash me? Like I’m too weak and stupid to think for myself?” She narrowed her eyes and thrust her index finger at him. “Screw. You.”
The show of fire heartened him. “Then don’t quit on us—stand up and fight for what you want and stop letting them run your life!”
“I don’t let them run my life, Liam! But losing one sister was enough, and I guess that’s something you’ll never understand. God, this is just pointless!”
“Pointless?” he echoed, stunned. “You and I? Getting married and making a life together, is pointless?”
She aimed a withering glare at him. “Don’t twist my words. You know exactly what I meant.”
“Not sure I do. In fact, I’m starting to think I was wrong about a lot of things when it comes to you.”
Honor’s chin rose, her eyes flashing. “Guess none of that matters now, does it?” Her voice was bitter as she cast a pointed glance at the ring on the counter.
The finality of her tone made a tendril of fear wrap around the base of his spine, its icy fingers curling around his tautly stretched nerves.
Liam shook his head slowly, fighting to keep his voice even. Calm down. Keep talking to her. “You said you couldn’t live with yourself if something happened to Charity, but can you live with yourself if you walk away from us? Knowing you did it because your family’s controlling you?” He waited a beat before finishing. “If you leave like this, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.” It sounded like a warning, and maybe it was. But he was sick and tired of this bullshit, sick at heart that she would give him up so easily, walk away from their life together.
Her eyes narrowed. “Maybe, but don’t worry about it because I’m not your problem anymore.” She whirled and strode for the door.
No.
Terror and desperation shot through him. Without thinking he bolted after her. His heart was hammering as he caught her in the foyer and turned her, pulling her into his arms to crush her to his chest.
She struggled against him. Her face was streaked with tears, her shoulders shaking with the force of the silent sobs she was fighting to hold in. “Let me go.” She shoved at his shoulders, hard.
Liam held her tighter. He couldn’t let her go. He was terrified that if he did she’d walk out that door and he’d never see her again.
“Don’t do this,” he begged hoarsely against her temple, crumbling inside. Honor wasn’t the type to make empty threats or do something like this on a whim. No, she meant it and was prepared to go through with it. He had one last shot to change her mind, right now, before he lost her forever. So no, even he wasn’t above begging if that’s what it took to make her stay and work this out.
“You said you still love me,” he whispered brokenly. He was holding onto that for all it was worth. It had to be enough. He squeezed her tighter. “I know you’re scared and I know you’re hurting but… Don’t do this. Don’t walk away. Please.”
Don’t leave me.
She’d never know how much it cost him to beg her this way, but he was so damn scared right now he didn’t care how pathetic it made him look. He’d do or say fucking whatever it took to get her to listen to reason, make her change her mind.
Anything except agreeing to live a lie and hide his true feelings for her from the rest of the world, no matter what the reason.
A sob tore out of her.
Honor stopped shoving at him. She wound her arms around his back and squeezed so hard he felt the muscles in her arms tremble. Liam closed his eyes and pressed his face against her hair, that painful bubble of hope surfacing again. He could feel her torment, her pain. If he could just calm her down long enough to get her to listen, really listen and then think this through…