I kept standing there, to see them stand there for a while, facing away from me, all three, the two men and the woman, their arms at their sides — each of the three of them with arms no longer involved in the exertion of a pose.
I remember something else now.
One of the men — the shorter, I think — wore very bright corduroy trousers, a very bright green, I would say, and a very pale yellow sweater.
Ah, but then they had their arms reached back up into place again. Or places, do we say?
They were getting themselves in readiness again.
They hugged.
I could tell they were hugging hard.
Then they let their arms fall to their sides again, or is this to say that each person lowered his arms promptly to his sides?
You could anyway see another photograph had been made — or taken — and that this was to be the last of the photograph-making or photograph-taking. Or photography, don't we say?
MY SON WAS IN MY COMPANY for the day.
It was to be a day for us in the park.
He was riding his bicycle and I was with him to see him do it. But for the time I was noticing the people with the camera, I was not seeing my son ride.
But when I resumed doing what I had been doing, I saw he was riding very well — and even doing some tricks. Or if we say acrobatics, then that.
I called to him.
I said, "Come over here a minute!" He rode up to me.
He said, "How did you like it?"
I said, "I've got a good idea."
He said, "Did you like the way I did it?"
I said, "Let's go home and get the camera and then we'll come back here and we'll take a picture of you with your bike."
He said, "What do you think of what I did?"
I said, "Let's go home. Let's get the camera."
WE DID IT.
Which is to say, my son and I went home. But we never got the camera for us to go make a photograph of him in the park with him on his bike.
Something came up.
I don't remember what.
But something did.
My plan was to produce a photograph.
My plan is to have the camera with me the next time we go. My plan is to find somebody and show him how the camera works.
My plan is to hand over the camera and then take my place behind my son.
The way I see it, the bicycle will be positioned broadside to the camera, my son situated on the seat, in an attitude of motion and of happiness perhaps. I will be standing just rearward of him, my arm arranged across the shoulders, this or some other such gesture to indicate that I am touching him and am keeping him, will always keep him, from falling over.
And then we will be like this.
DON'T DIE
MY FACTS ARE NOT UNKNOWN. This notwithstanding, mine is a history which has never been without its share of detractors. But I feel, however, that we can safely say the truth must speak for itself. For example, the period of incarceration was not excessive. As an institution, it was viewed in the highest regard. Each and every member of the staff was of a generously professional caliber. I am not claiming to the contrary, or asserting in any fashion, that there might not have been the infrequent individual incorporated here and there who would not in every respect pass muster under the harsh light of what we so fondly refer to in our thoughts as our contemporary nationalistic standards. But it goes without saying, this notwithstanding, that you cannot judge yesterday's failure by today's success. To postulate the direct negation of this would be to go too far and to currently commit a travesty against the race of mankind and, of course, speech itself, splitting, or cleaving, the complaisant infinitive. Yet speak one must, and this quite obviously means me. My statement is this — more dereliction would be more than welcome. At that time, and since, even I, at my utmost, was not privy to enough information. Therefore, I can, as is understood, speak, only without the benefit of diametric contradiction, unless more is expected of me, in which event I would not be adverse to holding myself, and the other panelists in my party, in substantial abeyance, both now and otherwise. Little, or even less, will it profit us, I think, nor the generation to come after us and to cross-index us, to offer up for ourselves various personal and sundry opinions disproportionately or needlessly. Trust, we can agree, is paramount, now as never before. It is on this account, and only on this account, that knowledge of the facilities must be tolerated if not lauded. Persons to have come before my ken, which, admittedly, is and was the limited ken of the patient, deserved every consideration as one professional to another. Nevertheless, although I was not mental in my mind, nor even under suspicion by those responsible for oversight, I was cared for. My debt is great. I would mention the name, but there are legal reasons. Suffice it to say, due reference has been made in the writings of others as well as can be expected by us as well as by our detractors, both preponderantly and paradoxically. The answer is inescapable, not only for the time being, but also for the good of the community. May God protect us. We can do no more nor do no less. Meekly, mildly, and with consciousness aforethought, neither I nor my family bears them any ill will. Speaking in summation, then, as one who has spoken the truth, let us turn our attention to Nurse Jones.
Now, if we were to turn our attention to Nurse Jones.
Now, if you will please turn your attention to Nurse Jones.
(A cognomen surely.)
WHAT MY MOTHER'S FATHER WAS REALLY THE FATHER OF
THESE ARE THE THINGS she said to me.
MY MOTHER SAID HER FATHER was as strong as a horse — she said her father was as big as a horse, and also as strong as one, too.
MY MOTHER SAID HER FATHER was a giant of a man, that he was a regular six-footer, that people were always shouting up at him to try to get him to look down at them and maybe to be their friend. She said people were always shouting, "Hey, Mister Six-Footer, tell us what the weather is like up there? Is it already raining? Is it or isn't it snowing?"
MY MOTHER SAID TOTAL STRANGERS could not get over it, the tallness and the strongness of the man. My mother said complete strangers were always passing comment on it. My mother said, "Not like with some people I could name." My mother said, "With some people I could name, they go into a room, no one gives them the first courtesy of even taking any notice. You would not, with some people I could name, not even take any notice such people were in the room at all."
MY MOTHER SAID, "Stand up. Look like you are somebody. Try to look like you are trying to amount to something. Show them who you are. Make believe you are who you say you are. Are you putting your best foot forward? Put your best foot forward. Show them you intend to be a member of the human race. My father was a member of the human race. My father was not like some people I could name — people not big, people not strong, people not even a member of even themselves."
MY MOTHER SAID ANYONE could look and see that her father was a person of unquestionable refinement. She said, "You don't have to take my word for it." She said, "Ask anyone." She said, "Why should I all by myself have to be the whole judge and jury?" She said, "Why stand on ceremony?" She said, "You can go ahead and satisfy your curiosity any time you want." She said, "I can wait. I've got the patience. I've got more than enough patience for the both of us." She said, "Believe me, I've got enough patience for the whole country of China, not to mention his brother Siam."
SHE SAID, "YOU NAME THE LANGUAGE, my father could talk it." She said, "Where was the man's nose?" She said, "The answer is forever in a book." She said, "There was no telling what the man might have made of himself if God had only given him a decent interval to do it in."