Just then the maiden, Pamphilius’s companion, came to the door accompanied by a young man. Pamphilius went out to them, and in Julius’s presence the young man explained that he had been sent by Cyril to buy some hides. The grapes were already sold and some wheat purchased. Pamphilius proposed that the young man should go with Magdalene and take the wheat home, while he would himself buy and bring home the hides. ‘It will be better for you,’ he said.
‘No, Magdalene had better go with you,’ said the young man, and went away.
Julius took Pamphilius into the shop of a tradesman he knew, and Pamphilius poured the wheat into bags, and having given Magdalene a small share to carry, took up his own heavy load, bid farewell to Julius, and left the town with the maiden. At the turning of the street he looked round and nodded to Julius with a smile. Then, with a still more joyous smile, he said something to Magdalene and they disappeared from view.
‘Yes, I should have done better had I then gone to them,’ thought Julius. And in his imagination two pictures alternated: the kindly bright faces of the lusty Pamphilius and the tall strong maiden as they carried the baskets on their heads; and then the domestic hearth from which he had come that morning and to which he must soon return, where his beautiful, but pampered and wearisome wife, who had become repulsive to him, would be lying on rugs and cushions, wearing bracelets and rich attire.
But Julius had no time to think of this. Some merchant companions of his came up to him, and they began their usual occupations, finishing up with dinner and drinking, and spending the night with women.
VI
TEN years passed. Julius had not met Pamphilius again, and the meeting with him had slowly passed from his memory, and the impression of him and of the Christian life wore off.
Julius’s life ran its usual course. During these ten years his father had died and he had taken over the management of his whole business, which was a complicated one. There were the regular customers, salesmen in Africa, clerks, and debts to be collected and paid. Julius found himself involuntarily absorbed in it all and gave his whole time to it. Besides this, new cares presented themselves. He was elected to a public office, and this new occupation, which flattered his vanity, attracted him. In addition to his business affairs he now attended to public matters also, and being capable and a good speaker he began to distinguish himself among his fellows, and appeared likely to reach high public office. In his family life a considerable and unpleasant change had occurred during these ten years. Three children had been born to him, and this had separated him from his wife. In the first place she had lost much of her beauty and freshness, and in the second place she paid less attention to her husband. All her tenderness and endearments were devoted to her children. Though according to the pagan custom the children were handed over to wet-nurses and attendants, Julius often found them with their mother, or found her with them instead of in her own apartments. For the most part Julius found the children a burden, affording him more annoyance than pleasure.
Occupied with business and public affairs he had abandoned his former dissipated life, but considered that he needed some refined recreation after his labours. This, however, he did not find with his wife, the more so as during this time she had cultivated an acquaintance with her Christian slave-girl, had become more and more attracted by the new teaching, and had discarded from her life all the external, pagan things that had attracted Julius. Not finding what he wanted in his wife, Julius formed an intimacy with a woman of light conduct, and passed with her the leisure that remained after his business.
Had he been asked whether he was happy or unhappy during those years he would have been unable to answer.
He was so busy! From one affair or pleasure he passed to another affair or pleasure, but not one of them was such as fully to satisfy him or make him wish it to continue. Everything he did was of such a nature that the quicker he could free himself from it the better he was pleased, and his pleasures were all poisoned in some way, or the tedium of satiety mingled with them.
In this way he was living when something happened that came near to altering his whole manner of life. He took part in the races at the Olympic Games, and was driving his chariot successfully to the end of the course when he suddenly collided with another which was overtaking him. His wheel broke, and he was thrown out and broke his arm and two ribs. His injuries were serious, though they did not endanger his life, and he was taken home and had to keep to his bed for three months.
During these three months of severe physical suffering his mind worked, and he had leisure to think about his life as if it were someone else’s. And his life presented itself to him in a gloomy light, the more so as during that time three unpleasant events occurred which much distressed him.
The first was that a slave, who had been his father’s trusted servant, decamped with some precious jewels he had received in Africa, thus causing a heavy loss and a disorganization of Julius’s affairs.
The second was that his mistress deserted him and found herself another protector.
The third and most unpleasant event for him, was that during his illness there was an election, and his opponent secured the position he had hoped to obtain.
All this, it seemed to Julius, came about because his chariot-wheel had swerved a finger-breadth to the left.
Lying alone on his couch he began involuntarily to reflect on the fact that his happiness depended on such insignificant happenings, and these thoughts led him on to others, and to the recollection of his former misfortunes – of his attempt to go to the Christians, and of Pamphilius, whom he had now not seen for ten years. These recollections were strengthened by conversations with his wife, who was often with him during his illness and told him everything she had learnt about Christianity from her slave-girl.
This slave-girl had at one time been in the same community with Pamphilius, and knew him. Julius wished to see her, and when she came to his couch questioned her about everything in detail, and especially about Pamphilius.
Pamphilius, the slave-girl said, was one of the best of the brethren, and was loved and esteemed by them all. He had married that same Magdalene whom Julius had seen ten years ago, and they already had several children.
‘Yes, any man who does not believe that God has created men for happiness should go to see their life,’ concluded the slave-girl.
Julius let the slave-girl go, and remained alone, thinking of what he had heard. It made him envious to compare Pamphilius’s life with his own, and he did not wish to think about it.
To distract himself he took up a Greek manuscript which his wife had left by his couch, and began to read as follows:1
‘There are two ways: one of life and the other of death. The way of life is this: First, thou shalt love God who has created thee; secondly, thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself; and thou shalt do to no one what thou wouldst not have him do to thee.
‘Now this is the meaning of these words: Bless them that curse you, pray for your enemies and for those that persecute you. For what merit have you if you love only those who love you? Do not the heathen so? Love them that hate you, and you shall have no enemies. Put away from you all carnal and worldly desires. If a man smites you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also, and you shall be perfect. If a man compelleth thee to walk a mile with him, go with him two. If he taketh what belongeth to thee, demand it not again, for this thou shalt not do; if he taketh thy outer garment, give him thy shirt also. Give to everyone that asketh of thee, and demand nothing back, for the Father wishes that His abundant gifts should be received by all. Blessed is he who giveth according to the commandment!