‘Eric, why did you ask me if I get bored?’
‘Perhaps because the last time we met you mentioned that things were not good between you and your wife, though they sounded normal to me. She refused to come across and you’d decided to become celibate for a while. A harsh deprivation, but not the most unusual suffering.’
‘Yes, I remember telling you I was prepared to endure it until she recovered. She’d begun therapy with a Jungian, I think I said. Eccentric but not too weird.’
‘It amuses me,’ said Eric. ‘He slept with his patients.’
‘What?’ said Jake. ‘Why did you say that?’
‘Jung, if I remember rightly, was different in that respect to Freud, who didn’t mess around. Yet Freud said sexuality was the main thing, and Jung insisted it wasn’t.’
Jake said, ‘My wife had always wanted to study so I agreed to support her while she had therapy and trained to be a psychologist — though such a wish is said to be in most cases a sure sign of mental instability —’
‘Of course.’
‘But not always?’
‘Oh it is, always,’ said Eric, calling for another glass of wine.
Jake went on, ‘My wife sneers at Scandinavian jazz music, in particular the Lord of the Rings names — Frode, Arve, Arild, Siguard. But her weakness is for dresses, like my sweet girls. She claims what she wears makes her mood, so she has filled the flat with them.’
‘With her moods?’
Jake laughed. ‘Unlike your wife, she is expensive.’
‘Tell me,’ said Eric. ‘I’ve been meaning to ask this. Do you organise your music in terms of the artist, the year, the country, or something else? Personally I like to keep my artists together, it almost sexually excites me.’
Jake laughed. ‘I organise by artist, but in special cases by label. But there’s no doubt these are demanding and sometimes terrible decisions.’ He went on, ‘Not that I’ve had time to do any filing.’
‘Why is that — too much work?’
‘My mother died.’
‘I am sorry,’ said Eric. ‘That’s tough.’
‘Thanks. And a few days before she passed on, Julie decided to tell me she liked the therapist, she loved him. He was wise, intelligent and he understood everything about her.’
Their food came and they began to eat.
‘Why is it I like the food so much in this mediocre place?’ said Jake.
‘Next time,’ said Eric, ‘as you always come all the way to me, we should eat at your local.’
‘Yes, we must do that,’ Jake said. ‘Eric, I know little about therapy, but I had heard that affection for the quack was part of the process. It was natural, if not normal. It was the cure.’
‘Amazing,’ said Eric. ‘I have always fancied being hypnotised. Have you tried it?’
‘Are you saying you think I need it?’
‘I have no idea if you do. I think I do!’
Jake said, ‘Julie was becoming impatient with my Jung jokes. She knew about the theory of idealising the therapist. She said it wasn’t just that. She was, in fact, actually sleeping with him.’
‘You’re kidding? With the actual Jungian?’
‘She said she wanted to be with him. He wanted to be with her. She said we all have an ideal, and at last she had found him.’
‘Jake, are you only having a starter?’ said Eric with concern. ‘Will it be enough for you?’
‘I haven’t had an appetite lately, so this is welcome. I’m going to scoff all the bread too.’ Jake went on, ‘I told Julie this was madness. I would have to report the therapist to the authorities for the sake of other patients. But the main thing was the cohesion of our family. The well-being of the girls at home with us. They’re young — nine and seven.’
‘That was tolerant if not noble of you,’ said Eric. ‘What did she say?’
‘She told me I had to find my own place as soon as possible. Well, I was quite sick after hearing this.’
‘Oh God, Jake.’
‘The day after I had to leave town to be with mother for the last week of her life. While I was down there with her, doing this awful duty at her bedside, I spoke to Julie and the girls on the phone. They were concerned about me. It was as if nothing had happened. I hoped nothing had happened. But it had, Eric. It had definitely happened. “Did you find somewhere to live?” asked my wife. “You’re kidding, how can I right now,” I said, “when Mother is taking her last breath?”
‘Almost the moment Mother died I came back straight away. I had a feeling, you know. When I got home my wife had left, with the girls. She had gone to the small town in France where her mother and family lived.’
Eric said, ‘I think women often prefer their mothers to their children.’
Jake pushed his plate away and said, ‘I need another drink. You?’
‘Please.’
‘When I dashed to this beautiful country place — where I’ve been often and which I like very much — Julie was hostile, almost insane with hatred. I said the children barely speak French, they must come home, they need their school, their friends. This is all too sudden.’
‘Of course.’
‘Has this ever happened to you — that someone you think you know intimately has changed beyond recognition? She was cold and formal, as if talking to someone she didn’t know. I’d always liked her, though she had her problems. I liked her voice. She was curious, and interested in gardens. I wanted to make one with her, helping her. But I realised she’d gone somewhere else. Her eyes were dead now, Eric.
‘She said she wasn’t sure what they were going to do, but she thought she’d return to London with the girls as the grandparents were becoming irritable. I was relieved until she said she was intending to set up home with the therapist. He was waiting for her — making his arrangements. I hated to think of it, Eric, this stranger making “arrangements” to replace me in my family.’
‘Christ, Jake, this is heavy. This is bad news, a punch in the gut. Don’t talk so fast, you’ll give yourself indigestion.’
‘That’s the least of it,’ he said. ‘Julie reassured me by saying this man got on well with children. But they couldn’t move in together until the house was sold, as the therapist didn’t have any money. His practice was small. He’s younger than her, just starting out.’
‘You were going to be forced out of your own house?’
‘Yes, can you believe it? Where would I put everything?’
‘This conversation took place in France?’
‘Didn’t I say? In an old house, a couple of hundred years at least. I was there to ask if the girls would be able to attend their grandmother’s funeral, but Julie refused, saying I might abduct them. She said she’d already informed the French and British police that I might attempt something with them! I was forbidden to be alone in their company as if I had suddenly become a monster. How did I become evil overnight? The girls kept asking when they were going home. But I couldn’t tell them the truth.
‘And then there, with the bewildered maternal grandparents looking on, my previously silent youngest daughter took her violin from its little case and sawed out a squeaky tune for us. By the end tears were pouring down my face. When I left they watched me from the window, crying out “Daddy, Daddy!”
‘I returned to England, saw mother into her grave, and went back to work. I sold the Audi A5 and bought a second-hand Astra, hired lawyers and, to help pay them, took a lodger, a girl who would also clean the place because I had fears about neglect — of the place, and of myself. My wife had also emptied our joint bank account. Do you have one?’
‘Now you mention it, I do. Thanks for bringing it up.’
‘Julie came back to London — and to the house — to pick up some of her clothes. When she arrived she discovered the lodger, a young Czech girl.