‘Have we ever harmed anyone? Vance can be very hard.’
‘D’you think so?’
‘How d’you stand all that rushing about?’ asked Lisa. ‘More like thrashing about, actually.’
‘We went to the Caribbean. But Vance was always busy. He says I’m out of focus. Men only think about work … they never think about love, only sex. I always get up before Vance, to clean my teeth and shower so he won’t see me looking ugly. He doesn’t like my accent.’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘He hears me in front of other people, in a restaurant in London, or in front of you —’
‘Me?’
‘And he looks at me as if he’s never seen me before. He says we’ve got to change if we’re going to get anywhere.’ Suddenly she cried out, ‘What’s that?’
‘Where?’
‘There — on the table.’
‘An ant.’
‘Kill it!’
Lisa smiled.
Karen stood up. ‘They’re swarming everywhere! It’s unsanitary!’ She sat down again and tried not to look around, but said, in her confusion, ‘Don’t you ever want to … to go to bed with another person, someone else?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Just to try another body. Another thingy. You know.’
Lisa was about to say something but only cleared her throat.
Karen said, ‘Is that your only dress? Haven’t you got anything else? Moon says you’re always in the shop.’
‘I like this dress. It’s cool.’
‘Vance might have to close that place. You’re the only person who goes in there.’
‘And the club?’
‘Vance doesn’t tell me much.’ She said, ‘A lot of the men round here go for you. Like Moon.’
‘Oh Moon,’ sighed Lisa. ‘As Rocco said, Moon’s on another planet. Men think that if they put their hands on you or say filthy things you’ll want them.’
‘Only if you ask for it,’ Karen replied sharply. ‘What will you live on in London?’
‘I’ll … I’ll do journalism. I’ve been thinking about some ideas.’
Karen nodded. ‘A single woman in London. That’s a popular scenario. Thing is,’ she said, ‘however much a woman wants a career, for most of us it’s a load of day-dreams. We aren’t going to make enough to have a top-class life. The only way to get that is to marry the right guy. You might be brainy, but without money you can’t do nothing.’
‘Money! Why do people have to have so much of it?’
‘People are so envious, it’s dirty envy, it makes me mad. They want what we have but won’t do anything to get it.’
Waves of heat rolled through Lisa’s body; if only the top of her head were hinged and she could let them out.
She said, ‘People say of the young people in this town … that we don’t want to do anything. It’s not true. Just give us a chance, we say.’ Before Karen could speak again, Lisa went on, ‘Did you come for any reason?’
Karen looked surprised. ‘Only to talk.’
Lisa was thinking of other things. Her demeanour changed. ‘I want to do so much. To learn to sing and dance. To paint. To row on the river. To play guitar and drums. I can’t wait to begin my life!’
When she left Karen insisted on kissing Lisa again.
Lisa felt dizzy and feverish. She stepped out of her dress and rolled herself into a ball, under a sheet. She was thirsty, but there was no one to bring her a drink.
She awoke to find Rocco apologising for his rudeness at the picnic.
She cried out, ‘Oh God, that woman Karen has done me in!’
‘What was she here for? What did she say?’
Rocco noticed the blood on the sheet and went immediately to fetch Bodger.
‘Did they teach you at medical school to hold onto your patients’ hands that long, while whispering in their ears?’ enquired Rocco when Bodger came out of the room.
‘So you’re jealous?’ said Bodger. ‘You don’t want me to go out with her?’
‘If you sorted out the money and I got out, you’d be welcome to have a go.’
‘I’m trying to get the money,’ said Bodger, glancing back at the door in embarrassment. ‘But I’m a doctor, not a financier.’
‘I’ve never known a doctor to be short of money.’
Bodger’s voice squeaked. ‘You’re arrogant! I haven’t had time to go to the bank. Are you still sure you want to get out?’
‘If I can’t get away by Saturday I’m going to go insane!’
‘All right, all right!’
‘What about by Friday morning?’ Rocco put his mouth close to Bodger’s ear and whispered. ‘When I’m gone, she’s all yours. If you knew how I’ve been praising you!’
‘Have you?’
‘Oh yes. She likes men. A lot of women do.’
‘Yes?’
‘But they keep it to themselves — for fear of encouraging the wrong sort.’
Bodger couldn’t help believing him.
9
‘You don’t look well,’ said Vance as Bodger came into the restaurant. ‘Shall I call a doctor?’
‘I thought I’d see the enterprise culture at work,’ shouted Bodger over the music, removing his bicycle clips and putting his hands over his ears. ‘Without conversation, clearly. What, er, are you up to?’
‘Creating work, satisfying demand, succeeding.’
‘Lend me £300, will you, Vance? No, £400.’
Vance put his arm around him.
‘The place next door is for sale. Come and look. I’m thinking of buying it and knocking through. Put the kitchen in there. More tables here.’ While Bodger looked around the almost empty restaurant Vance spoke to a waitress. ‘Better food, too.’ The waitress returned; Vance put the money on the table with his hand on top of it. ‘If it’s for Rocco you can forget it.’
‘What if it is? That would be none of your business!’
‘I won’t let you lend money to any sad sack.’
Bodger waved his arms. ‘It is for him! But no one tells me what to do!’
‘Shhh … People are eating.’
Feather, who was writing her journal at the next table, started laughing.
Bodger said, ‘Don’t be inhumane. You think you’re letting people be independent, but really you’re just letting them down. How can it be wrong to help others?’
‘But I’m all for charity. Is Rocco going away?’ Bodger nodded. ‘Without her?’
‘At first.’
‘The bastard’s doing a runner. With my money! He’s going to leave her behind. You’ll get stuck with her.’
‘Will I?’
Vance regarded him beadily. ‘You want her?’ Bodger gulped. ‘Do you?’
‘I would love her.’
‘I can’t guarantee to lay on love, but she’ll sleep with you.’
‘Are you certain? Did she mention it?’
‘She’d do it with anyone. Haven’t you asked her yet?’
‘Asked?’ Bodger was shivering. ‘Once I’d said it … if she said yes, I’d be too excited, you know, to do anything. I sort of imagine that there are, out there, people who know how to ask for everything they want. They’re not afraid of being rejected or laughed at, or of being so nervous that they can’t even speak. But I’m not one of them.’
‘You’ll soon get sick of Lisa. She’ll be so expensive to run. Can’t imagine her working. High ideals and no prospects. Your great friend Rocco is making you an idiot.’