‘Go and have a pee,’ he said.
In the toilet, I touched my new penis and became as engrossed in it as a four-year-old. I weighed and inspected it. I raised my arms and wriggled my hips; no doubt I pouted, too. Elvis, of course, had been one of my earliest influences, along with Socrates. When I peed, the stream was full, clear and what I must describe as ‘decisive’. Putting my prick away, I gave it a final squeeze. Who wouldn’t want to see this! My, what a lot I had to look forward to! My appetite — all my appetites, I suspected — had reached another dimension.
‘Okay?’ he said.
I nodded. We went into another room where the doctor fixed various parts of me to machines, giving me, or my new body, a thorough check-up. As he did so, I babbled away in my new voice, mostly childhood memories, listening to myself in the attempt to draw myself back together again.
‘I’m through,’ he said at last. Denying me the privacy of a natural born being, he watched me clumsily put on the clothes Ralph had bought me. ‘Good. Good. This is incredible. It has worked.’
‘Why the surprise? Haven’t you done this before?’
‘Of course. But each time it seems to be a miracle. We have another success on our hands. Everything is complete now. Your mind and the body’s nervous system are in perfect co-ordination. You have your old mind in a new body. New life has been made.’
‘Is that it?’ I said. ‘Don’t I require more preparation?’
‘I expect you do,’ he said. ‘Mentally. There will be shocks ahead, adjustments to be made. It would be a good idea to discuss it with Ralph, your mentor. It goes without saying that you cannot talk freely about this. Otherwise you are free to go, sir. Your clock has been restarted, but it is still ticking. See you in six months. You know where we are.’
‘But do I know where I am?’
‘I hope you will find out. I look forward to hearing how it went.’
The nurse, in reception, handed me my wallet and the bag of things Ralph had told me I’d need for the first few hours after my ‘transformation’. She took a copy of my memoirs from under the desk and asked me to sign it.
‘I’ve long been an admirer, sir.’
Writing my old name with my new fingers I had to bend over from a different height. For the first time in years, I did so without having to adjust my posture to avoid an expected pain. I stood back and stared at my signature, which resembled a bad forgery of my own scrawl. I took another piece of paper and scribbled my name again and again. However hard I tried, I couldn’t make it come out like the old one.
The amused nurse called a cab for me.
I waited on the couch with my new long legs stuck out in front of me, taking up a lot of room, and touching my face. Watching her work in reception, it occurred to me that the desirable nurse — whose attractiveness was, really, only lack of any flaw — might be seventy or ninety years old. Like people who work at a dentist’s, and always have perfect teeth, she was bound to be a Newbody herself. But why would she be doing such a job?
A long-haired, model-like young woman approached the desk, requesting a taxi. Her hip, slightly Hispanic look was so ravishing I must have audibly sighed, because she smiled. It was difficult to tell whether she was in her late teens or early thirties. It occurred to me that we were making a society in which everyone would be the same age. I noticed that the woman was carrying an open bag in which I glimpsed what looked like the corner of a pink flannel night-gown. She sat opposite me, waiting too, nervously. In fact, she seemed to relate strangely to herself, as I must have done, moving different parts of herself experimentally, at first diffidently, and then with some internal celebration. Then she smiled in my direction with such radiant confidence I thought of suggesting we share a cab. What a perfect couple we would make!
But I wanted to be back among ordinary people, those who decayed and were afraid of death. I got up and cancelled the cab. I would enjoy walking. A marathon would be nothing. The nurse seemed to understand.
‘Good luck,’ I said to the woman.
I headed for the main road. I must have walked for five miles, taking considerable strides and loving the steady motion. My new body was taller and heavier than my last ‘vessel’, but I felt lighter and more agile than I could recall, as though I were at the wheel of a luxury car. I could see over the heads of others on the street. People had to look up to me. I’d been bullied as a kid. Now, I could punch people out. Not that a fight would be the best start to my new incarnation.
I found a cheap café and ate a meal. I ate another meal. I checked into a big anonymous hotel where a reservation had already been made. I found a good position in the bar where I could look out for people looking at me. Was that woman smiling in my direction? People did glance at me, but with no more obvious interest than they had before. My mind felt disturbingly clear. What defined edges the world had! It had been a long time since I’d had such undeviating contact with reality. After a couple of drinks, I gained even more clarity along with a touch of ecstasy, but I didn’t want to get blotto on my first day as a Newbody.
I was waiting in the crowded hotel foyer when Ralph hurried in and stood there looking about. It was disconcerting when he didn’t recognise the writer he’d worshipped, whose words he’d memorised, the one he believed deserved immortality! It took him a few distracted moments to pick my body out among the others, and he still wasn’t certain it was me.
I went over. ‘Hi, Ralph, it’s me, Adam.’
He embraced me, running his hands over my shoulders and back; he even patted my stomach.
‘Great hard body, pal. You look superb. I’m proud of you. You’ve got guts. How do you feel?’
‘Never better,’ I said. They were my words, but my voice was strong. ‘Thanks, Ralph, for doing this for me.’
‘By the way,’ he said. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Sorry?’
‘You’ll need a new name. You could keep your old name, of course, or a derivative. But it might cause confusion. You’re not really Adam any more. What do you think?’
My instinct was to change my name. It would help me remember that I was a new combination. Anyway, hybrids were hip.
‘What will it be?’ he asked.
‘I’ll be called Leo Raphael Adams,’ I said at last. ‘Does that sound grand enough?’
‘Up to you,’ he said. ‘Good. I’ll tell them. You have money, don’t you?’
‘As you insisted, enough for six months.’
‘I’ll make sure you receive a passport and driving licence in your new name.’
‘That must be illegal,’ I said.
‘Does that worry you?’
‘I’m afraid so. I’m not a good man by any means, but I do tend towards honesty in trivial matters.’
‘That’s the least of it, man. You’re in a place that few other humans have ever been before. You’re a walking laboratory, an experiment. You’re beyond good and evil now.’
‘Right, I see,’ I said. ‘The identity theorists are going to be busy worrying about this one.’
He touched my shoulder. ‘You need to get laid. It works, doesn’t it — your thing?’
‘I can’t tell you how good it feels not to piss in all directions at once or over your own new shoes. As soon as I get an erection, I’ll call.’
‘The first time I had sex in my new body, it all came back. I was with a Russian girl. She was screaming like a pig.’
‘Yeah?’
‘I knew, that night, it had been worth it. That all those years, day after day, watching my wife die, were over. This was moving on in glory.’
‘My wife isn’t dead. I hope she doesn’t die while I’m “away”.’